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GivingBack

Old 12-29-2009, 05:13 PM
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GivingBack

Not sure if I can explain this right but I will try....

My sponsor and I had a discussion about giving back, then she brought it up as a topic at our home group last night. I felt some tension between her and I as we have some slightly different views, and she didnt get the response from others sharing that she was looking for. I do alot in AA and my homegroup however she has been pushing me to do more. I can appreciate that she pushes because I probably needed it, and I know it has helped me get where I am. But..at this point in my sobriety I feel comfortable with what I am doing and dont feel she needs to push quite like she is.

So I guess I am just looking to hear your thoughts on "giving back" and what it means to you and your recovery.

Thanks!!!
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Old 12-29-2009, 06:08 PM
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I don't participate in AA, but I still think "giving back" is an important part of my personal recovery. I have spent most of my life as a very selfish person, pleasing myself was always the most important thing. If you could make others happy at the same time, that was a nice bonus, but it was really about me. Even when I did things to help others, it was often more about doing something to make me feel good rather than selflessly helping someone else.

This is howo my personality has always been, far before I got mixed up with drugs. I've always been a "taker". Drugs only made it worse. Drugs made me feel good. Feeling good was the most important thing in my life, therefore making sure I always had drugs, making me "happy" became the most important thing in my life. I cast aside others who cared deeply for me in my constant quest to satisfy myself. It wasn't just drugs, it was sex, material possessions, food, anything to try to satisfy myself, with no thought or remorse for who I was hurting in the process. Even when I did think about the damage I was doing, my solution was to get high and numb it out.

That is why I feel giving back is so important to me. I'm only 8 months clean. I've been a taker all of my life and a drug abuser for the last 20 years. I'm still pretty much on the fence about the whole god thing, but I do believe in karma. When you do good, you will recieve it back. I've got a lot of making up to do. Not just to people I've hurt, but to humanity in general. It gives me peace, knowing that I helped or was of service to another person. Perhaps that is still a selfish way of looking at it, but if good can somehow come from my selfishness, I think it's still good.
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Old 12-29-2009, 06:44 PM
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mergirl
 
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oops: edit, missed the topic, be back later maybe HAHAHHA, I need a nap=)
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Old 12-29-2009, 07:39 PM
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Service work has been a godsend for me in that it has keep me very active with my recovery program. The thought has crossed my mind that somebody else should be driving 25 miles across town to pick up the supplies for the meeting but I get so much more back. It gives me ownership in the group and the fellowship that I would not have otherwise.

Sponsors generally give good advice and they often see something about us that we cannot.

I have no idea what your personal situation is but for me every bit of service work has paid me back dividends.
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Old 12-29-2009, 07:48 PM
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I usually don't know from one day to another what it's going to mean to give back. I have, up until this past year, held some sort of trusted service position in the service structure (both home group and general service), and I think those kinds of positions are important, but because I don't have one now (not really -- I keep track of the coins and keep the secretary book one night a week for my home group) doesn't mean I'm not giving back. So, what is it or what might it be?

Depends on what the day brings, who's on the other end of the phone, what newcomer walks through the door, who asks me to speak, what 12 step call might present itself, what I find in my email inbox or here on the boards...in other words, what my HP gives me that day. I have a simple prayer I say when I wake up -- "Please keep me sober and make me useful today." And, that prayer is usually answered in some obvious way.

Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Old 12-29-2009, 11:43 PM
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We all give back in our own ways?
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