my own little piece of recovery world
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
morning all, well tis the evening of my fourth night and i am GUZZLING SODA WATER
can you hear me from up there hahahaha.
i will get through this, i can do this aahhhh. besides today i talked to the friend i said evil things to on last thursday night and she said she had a big blow out on sat and sunday nights and realised she cant have booze in the house. so i figure i might have a non drinking buddy. i was going to ring her and ask 'tell me again why we are not drinking" - but i am too scared to in case she is haha. i'll email her tomorrow to see how she went and suggest we go on the detox diet together, fresh fruit/veg no booze and see how much weight we can lose before summer hits us haha.
sounds like a plan!!!!
onward and upward
hugs
kath (ah mentalpause haha)
can you hear me from up there hahahaha.
i will get through this, i can do this aahhhh. besides today i talked to the friend i said evil things to on last thursday night and she said she had a big blow out on sat and sunday nights and realised she cant have booze in the house. so i figure i might have a non drinking buddy. i was going to ring her and ask 'tell me again why we are not drinking" - but i am too scared to in case she is haha. i'll email her tomorrow to see how she went and suggest we go on the detox diet together, fresh fruit/veg no booze and see how much weight we can lose before summer hits us haha.
sounds like a plan!!!!
onward and upward
hugs
kath (ah mentalpause haha)
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Yeah! Day four is history - so glad to hear that. And having a buddy around to do it with would help so so much. That has been something I wish I had. But that's why I'm here!
I bet you are feeling better already. I have a story for you to keep you inspired.
When I was a young teen (picture Mr. 11 here) my parents were separated and I was living with my mother. She was drinking alot then. It made me feel very unprotected, when the only person there to take care of me was plastered. Once, I called an older friend to come and get me because I felt so afraid. The next morning, my mother was understandably furious. It had been one of those "in the family" private matters, and she felt very betrayed. And I felt horrible too, that I'd hurt her etc. But I look back on that now and I know I was just trying to survive. To take care of my little kid self.
I tell you this because Mr. 11 really needs his mother to be his protector. I have safety issues to this day because of that situation I described.
Just incase you needed one more reason to load up on soda.
love you
I bet you are feeling better already. I have a story for you to keep you inspired.
When I was a young teen (picture Mr. 11 here) my parents were separated and I was living with my mother. She was drinking alot then. It made me feel very unprotected, when the only person there to take care of me was plastered. Once, I called an older friend to come and get me because I felt so afraid. The next morning, my mother was understandably furious. It had been one of those "in the family" private matters, and she felt very betrayed. And I felt horrible too, that I'd hurt her etc. But I look back on that now and I know I was just trying to survive. To take care of my little kid self.
I tell you this because Mr. 11 really needs his mother to be his protector. I have safety issues to this day because of that situation I described.
Just incase you needed one more reason to load up on soda.
love you
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi gang, MG you are so right mate - i couldnt respond earlier cause you touched my heart, seriously and i knew i had to take that information, digest it and respect it, as your story and so much a lesson for me. thank you.
today the story is doubly true cause mr 16 is returning home, tail between his legs ( a little bit) and a very sad and unhappy young lad who has lost his way, after trying to be independent at his dad's. so he really needs to sober eyes at the moment and a mum who can 'pull rank' on his behalf to help him. so yep got the old work cut out for me!!!
so sipping coke here. oh have to laugh my friend i was too scared to ring last night cause i thought she might be drinking - well i contacted her today and she had been!!!. so i told her i had been too scared to ring cause "if she could then i could" haha.
so we have agreed to the detox diet!!! also tonight the neighbour who i borrowed wine from is coming over to get some computer work done, she also suggested a drink tonight, i told her "no, i am on day 5". she said 'ah you are going to try again?" i said "yep i would llove nothing more than to ahve a drink with you, but i cant, day 5 need to keep that.' mr 11 wandered past and he heard me say this to the neighbour on the phone, he comes up and says "hey you get a 5 day hug - every five days you get a big hug". well out of the mouth of babes hey, maybe i could sell his strategy to AA haha. working for me at the moment.
hugs to you all - keep rolling
and MG thanks for the "heads up" and sharing hon.
love kath
ps i see red sox one another game - cool
cheers
today the story is doubly true cause mr 16 is returning home, tail between his legs ( a little bit) and a very sad and unhappy young lad who has lost his way, after trying to be independent at his dad's. so he really needs to sober eyes at the moment and a mum who can 'pull rank' on his behalf to help him. so yep got the old work cut out for me!!!
so sipping coke here. oh have to laugh my friend i was too scared to ring last night cause i thought she might be drinking - well i contacted her today and she had been!!!. so i told her i had been too scared to ring cause "if she could then i could" haha.
so we have agreed to the detox diet!!! also tonight the neighbour who i borrowed wine from is coming over to get some computer work done, she also suggested a drink tonight, i told her "no, i am on day 5". she said 'ah you are going to try again?" i said "yep i would llove nothing more than to ahve a drink with you, but i cant, day 5 need to keep that.' mr 11 wandered past and he heard me say this to the neighbour on the phone, he comes up and says "hey you get a 5 day hug - every five days you get a big hug". well out of the mouth of babes hey, maybe i could sell his strategy to AA haha. working for me at the moment.
hugs to you all - keep rolling
and MG thanks for the "heads up" and sharing hon.
love kath
ps i see red sox one another game - cool
cheers
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
((Kath)) Big Hugs for day 5!! Hooray!! That sounds like a great plan. You can only get to day 5 by not drinking one day at a time!!
So what's on this detoxing diet? I'm starting early on putting on my winter weight.
Atleast I don't have all those calories from beer. Which reminds me of something funny. My sister in law was doing weight watchers. I guess she could only have 18 "points" in a day. Well, a beer is worth 2 points. I would always tell her I couldn't eat anything, because I used all my "points" up on beer!
Weight loss!! Just another reason not to drink!
Love ya girl,
Missy
So what's on this detoxing diet? I'm starting early on putting on my winter weight.
Atleast I don't have all those calories from beer. Which reminds me of something funny. My sister in law was doing weight watchers. I guess she could only have 18 "points" in a day. Well, a beer is worth 2 points. I would always tell her I couldn't eat anything, because I used all my "points" up on beer! Weight loss!! Just another reason not to drink!
Love ya girl,
Missy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,667
Hi Kath and Mountaingirl,
Wow, Kath, that's an impressive and deeply touching post from MG isn't it? I understand why you had to 'digest' the post. My kids were older when I started to drink, 16 and 19, but I hurt them and it took me a long, long time to begin to forgive myself and I don't think I ever will completely let go of that. I'm glad you know how much you need to be there for Mr 11 and that you have the chance to make things right for him. You're doing great Kath, bring on Day 6.
Love, Anna
Wow, Kath, that's an impressive and deeply touching post from MG isn't it? I understand why you had to 'digest' the post. My kids were older when I started to drink, 16 and 19, but I hurt them and it took me a long, long time to begin to forgive myself and I don't think I ever will completely let go of that. I'm glad you know how much you need to be there for Mr 11 and that you have the chance to make things right for him. You're doing great Kath, bring on Day 6.
Love, Anna
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
You guys all have me in tears. I did feel scared sharing that story, so I'm glad that it mattered to you. We can't actually quit for someone else (gotta want it for yourself most), but those kids of ours are forming their whole selves rooted in these brief childhood selves. Not really fair since every parent is a rookie. But it's never been any different, eh!
love and big day 6 hugs to you Kath,
(((Anna))) (((Missy)))
Gianna - you get back here girl.
Today I am starting counseling. I'm scared stiff. Any advice? I couldn't really sleep because I keep trying to preplan what to say. I just know I have to be honest. The last time I went to a counselor, I bs'd through the fact that I was hungover most days. Bet she knew. Atleast I don't have that problem today! Phew.
love and big day 6 hugs to you Kath,
(((Anna))) (((Missy)))
Gianna - you get back here girl.
Today I am starting counseling. I'm scared stiff. Any advice? I couldn't really sleep because I keep trying to preplan what to say. I just know I have to be honest. The last time I went to a counselor, I bs'd through the fact that I was hungover most days. Bet she knew. Atleast I don't have that problem today! Phew.
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
(((MG, Kath, Anna))) Your stories about your children and childhoods help me so much. I have a son (3) and a daughter (1). I know now, looking through sober eyes that I want to be there for them, watch them and guide them. What a precious gift I have been given. Not just my children, but people like you that help me realize to cherish every moment. I know you can't have your time back with your kids, but thank you for giving of yourself, so I can see mine.
Love and admiration,
Missy
Love and admiration,
Missy
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi guys
well just finished doing the computer work with the neighbour, she had a wine with her haha, i thought, what is that smell hahaha. not even tempted to have a sip, but i am glad she is gone now haha, well the wine anyway haha.
MG i just had a flashback to when i was a child and my mum did the same stuff, and i also remember how hurt she was when i called her an alcoholic, like some sort of label of deformity!. now i understand where she was coming from - i am sure i wouldnt like mr 11 going to school and saying "my mum is an alcoholic" for news haha.
ah the diet, well i guess lots of fruit and veg, diet soft drink and plenty of water, that should be a good start haha.
MG re the counselling, i found (as the counsellor and the counselled) that often the work is done after the session. that is whatever issue you might talk about, you end up mulling it over in the following week and then can go back to reflect on your thoughts in the next session. treat it as a time for you to be pampered, the place to express your thoughts to yourself. most counsellors are just mirrors for what we already think or feel about ourselves. they just help us work out whether the feelings are fair or not, and whether we can change them or just learn to cope with them. some things you cannot change, but we can cope with them. like not be able to drink hey! i am sure you will do really well. think of it as a massage for your mind hon.!!!
oh and you dont have to say everything all in one day haha,even though you might feel like you are bursting at the seams and what to get it all out at once, what needs to come out, will, in time. enjoy!
hugs to you all and so cool to see anna and missy
yep where is gianna
phew that smell haha
well just finished doing the computer work with the neighbour, she had a wine with her haha, i thought, what is that smell hahaha. not even tempted to have a sip, but i am glad she is gone now haha, well the wine anyway haha.
MG i just had a flashback to when i was a child and my mum did the same stuff, and i also remember how hurt she was when i called her an alcoholic, like some sort of label of deformity!. now i understand where she was coming from - i am sure i wouldnt like mr 11 going to school and saying "my mum is an alcoholic" for news haha.
ah the diet, well i guess lots of fruit and veg, diet soft drink and plenty of water, that should be a good start haha.
MG re the counselling, i found (as the counsellor and the counselled) that often the work is done after the session. that is whatever issue you might talk about, you end up mulling it over in the following week and then can go back to reflect on your thoughts in the next session. treat it as a time for you to be pampered, the place to express your thoughts to yourself. most counsellors are just mirrors for what we already think or feel about ourselves. they just help us work out whether the feelings are fair or not, and whether we can change them or just learn to cope with them. some things you cannot change, but we can cope with them. like not be able to drink hey! i am sure you will do really well. think of it as a massage for your mind hon.!!!
oh and you dont have to say everything all in one day haha,even though you might feel like you are bursting at the seams and what to get it all out at once, what needs to come out, will, in time. enjoy!
hugs to you all and so cool to see anna and missy
yep where is gianna
phew that smell haha
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Wow, a massage for my mind. That is such an awesome outlook, I'm soaking it up. Thank you for saying that. I have been getting scared about the whole bursting at the seams thing, totally. In the past few days I've been going over all my life stuff because I feel like I need to give the counsellor the right stories! Then again, here I am nervous and I'm being seen for anxiety so I guess that's appropriate!!
I loved when you said we call it the world series and only America shows up. You are so right! HA! Game three tonight and while you have tomorrow's coffee, I'll be watching my Sox.
Missy - thank you hon. You are going to be such a better mother now - that is an amazing thought! You have changed their future by changing your present. Wo, I'm dizzy at the thought of that.
I loved when you said we call it the world series and only America shows up. You are so right! HA! Game three tonight and while you have tomorrow's coffee, I'll be watching my Sox.
Missy - thank you hon. You are going to be such a better mother now - that is an amazing thought! You have changed their future by changing your present. Wo, I'm dizzy at the thought of that.
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
MG- I think Kath has the right idea about the counseling session. Just be honest!!
I've been to and through sooooo many counselors. You know, they never helped and I always quit going. Maybe if I had been honest with myself and them, it would have been different? YOU THINK?? Jeesh all the money I blew just trying to keep up on all of my self pity and lies.
One time I even took rum and coke to the session with me. Told the counselor it helped me to "open up"!! Wonder what she wrote in my chart about that!! Laughing now at the insanity of it all!!
Best of luck, and the anticipation of the event is usually worse then the event itself!!
Love ya,
Missy
I've been to and through sooooo many counselors. You know, they never helped and I always quit going. Maybe if I had been honest with myself and them, it would have been different? YOU THINK?? Jeesh all the money I blew just trying to keep up on all of my self pity and lies.
One time I even took rum and coke to the session with me. Told the counselor it helped me to "open up"!! Wonder what she wrote in my chart about that!! Laughing now at the insanity of it all!!
Best of luck, and the anticipation of the event is usually worse then the event itself!!
Love ya,
Missy
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Go Gianna!
Thanks Missy!
I survived the first session. Cried, ofcourse. It is so hard being pitiful! I mean if you knew how capable I am you'd understand. That sounded so stupid - but I'm practicing my honesty
Thanks Missy!
I survived the first session. Cried, ofcourse. It is so hard being pitiful! I mean if you knew how capable I am you'd understand. That sounded so stupid - but I'm practicing my honesty
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
MG- so glad to hear that the counseling appt. went alright. Good thing for the tears and they probably helped to get some of that out.
Missy, you made me laugh when you said you took rum and coke to the session to help you open up. LOL!! Funny memory to look back on now.
kath, glad to see you are doing well.
Take care everyone,
Hope
Missy, you made me laugh when you said you took rum and coke to the session to help you open up. LOL!! Funny memory to look back on now.
kath, glad to see you are doing well.
Take care everyone,
Hope
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi gang, rum and coke in counselling haha that is brilliant!! oh missy what a hoot, love it
MG so glad the session went well, crying is good, better to do it at the counsellor, i do it in the shower, but at a counsellor you get less wet hahaha - tears clense the soul, i wonder if when we do uncontrolled crying it is 'someone's' way of telling us to do nothing else for a while -mm just a thought.
go the sox, i shall have to look it up on the net!
Gianna, wow 38 days, you inspire me girl.
hi hope, nice to see you here.
well day 6 - cool, am heading to dr to have my plumbing and bowsers looked at. gee that should be fun
see ya all soon
hugs
kath
MG so glad the session went well, crying is good, better to do it at the counsellor, i do it in the shower, but at a counsellor you get less wet hahaha - tears clense the soul, i wonder if when we do uncontrolled crying it is 'someone's' way of telling us to do nothing else for a while -mm just a thought.
go the sox, i shall have to look it up on the net!
Gianna, wow 38 days, you inspire me girl.
hi hope, nice to see you here.
well day 6 - cool, am heading to dr to have my plumbing and bowsers looked at. gee that should be fun
see ya all soon
hugs
kath
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
Kath,
I'll save you a trip around cyber space -, the Red Sox are one game away from winning the World Series. Let's hope it's all over tonight. With the presidential election next Tuesday, I'm pretty attached to my TV lately.
You'll like this: the counselor yesterday caught me off guard. At one point I said something, and she responded, "
That's interesting. And, I don't mean that in a smarta$$ way. " It just cracked me up.
She also said several times that the issues I have are very treatable. Isn't that nice?
So how was your doctor's appointment? Is your hair still black?! How was day 7! If you get a 5 day hug for every 5 days sober, what do you get every 7 days? Hahaha
I'll save you a trip around cyber space -, the Red Sox are one game away from winning the World Series. Let's hope it's all over tonight. With the presidential election next Tuesday, I'm pretty attached to my TV lately.
You'll like this: the counselor yesterday caught me off guard. At one point I said something, and she responded, "
That's interesting. And, I don't mean that in a smarta$$ way. " It just cracked me up.
She also said several times that the issues I have are very treatable. Isn't that nice?
So how was your doctor's appointment? Is your hair still black?! How was day 7! If you get a 5 day hug for every 5 days sober, what do you get every 7 days? Hahaha
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
haha, the counsellor sounds cool - although i am not sure you need treatment as such haha.
red sox very cool too, i have been watching.
god it will be a big week hey, election on tuesday, melbourne cub (australian national horserace - all the country stops for 3 minutes to watch it haha)
yep hair is still black, cant work out how to go back to brown or blonde gracefully haha. i have decided i want to look like det lilly rush, but i aint never going to happen haha.
dr's was ok, had some tests, get full results next week but so far abnormal cells . Like as if there is anything about me that is NORMAL haha. why am i not surprised!! bowsers are fine no lumps but mamogram anyway - bugger, i thought i could stay away from the vice for a few years haha. oh well if they come off and the other bits come out - i'll will lose weight haha, gotta be good haha.
apart from that, mr 16 had all his stuff moved in tonight, so he is home. wants to leave school next year and go to stay with my cousin in england for 6 months to find himself!!! mind you if i sent him with a one way ticket that could work haha - almost tempted. i did tell him he could find himself here, but of course that wouldnt be as much fun as looking for oneself in london haha - oh dear as if i didnt have enough things to thnk of
BUT i am still not DRINKING - god i must be numb haha
so when is the final for the red sox, we might able to watch it on cable - wont understand much but we can watch it haha
hugs to you and all - hope all goes well - am off to watch david caruso be a complete pratt on miami csi - i love watching to see what an idiot he is hahaha
cheers
kath
red sox very cool too, i have been watching.
god it will be a big week hey, election on tuesday, melbourne cub (australian national horserace - all the country stops for 3 minutes to watch it haha)
yep hair is still black, cant work out how to go back to brown or blonde gracefully haha. i have decided i want to look like det lilly rush, but i aint never going to happen haha.
dr's was ok, had some tests, get full results next week but so far abnormal cells . Like as if there is anything about me that is NORMAL haha. why am i not surprised!! bowsers are fine no lumps but mamogram anyway - bugger, i thought i could stay away from the vice for a few years haha. oh well if they come off and the other bits come out - i'll will lose weight haha, gotta be good haha.
apart from that, mr 16 had all his stuff moved in tonight, so he is home. wants to leave school next year and go to stay with my cousin in england for 6 months to find himself!!! mind you if i sent him with a one way ticket that could work haha - almost tempted. i did tell him he could find himself here, but of course that wouldnt be as much fun as looking for oneself in london haha - oh dear as if i didnt have enough things to thnk of
BUT i am still not DRINKING - god i must be numb haha
so when is the final for the red sox, we might able to watch it on cable - wont understand much but we can watch it haha
hugs to you and all - hope all goes well - am off to watch david caruso be a complete pratt on miami csi - i love watching to see what an idiot he is hahaha
cheers
kath
Growing Up
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: right here
Posts: 614
David Caruso's voice creeps me out. I swear, if he snuck up behind me and said boo, I'd die of fright!
Game four of the ultimate seven (the winner is best 4 out of 7) is tonite I think at around 8pm. You don't know how funny it is that I am talking sports to anyone. My husband is like, who are you?
I need a mamogram too, although I've been having them for several years since I am at risk. Never gets any more enjoyable! A friend recently sent me a funny email entitled Get your Mammies Grammied!
You know the pink ribbon thing? Most of the time you see people wearing a pink ribbon pin if they are cancer survivors or just supporters. Well, now we have car magnets that everyone is getting: Yellow for support our troops, US flag colors for patriotism or God Bless, and Pink for breast cancer awareness. And these magnets are all shaped like a loop of ribbon. Some cars have them all. It's like you really know who you are driving behind by what they stand for! And more people do it because they are just magnets so they don't damage the car paint. What I think is cool is there are more of those magnets than political bumper stickers now. It's like people GET what matters. Any how, I digress.
Now, Mr. 16 thinks he's left himself in London? What's up with that? Glad to hear that he's home with you. Gather those little chicks for as long as you can. I'm told they grow up so fast (but at the moment it's not quite fast enough).
hugs
Game four of the ultimate seven (the winner is best 4 out of 7) is tonite I think at around 8pm. You don't know how funny it is that I am talking sports to anyone. My husband is like, who are you?
I need a mamogram too, although I've been having them for several years since I am at risk. Never gets any more enjoyable! A friend recently sent me a funny email entitled Get your Mammies Grammied!
You know the pink ribbon thing? Most of the time you see people wearing a pink ribbon pin if they are cancer survivors or just supporters. Well, now we have car magnets that everyone is getting: Yellow for support our troops, US flag colors for patriotism or God Bless, and Pink for breast cancer awareness. And these magnets are all shaped like a loop of ribbon. Some cars have them all. It's like you really know who you are driving behind by what they stand for! And more people do it because they are just magnets so they don't damage the car paint. What I think is cool is there are more of those magnets than political bumper stickers now. It's like people GET what matters. Any how, I digress.
Now, Mr. 16 thinks he's left himself in London? What's up with that? Glad to hear that he's home with you. Gather those little chicks for as long as you can. I'm told they grow up so fast (but at the moment it's not quite fast enough).
hugs
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