loyalty4eva

wow its like how did i get to this point i have always been able to conquer addiction to drugs except for opiates i used to do them now and then but never all the time all that changed last year when a dealer moved into the downstairs apt and would always give me oxys i went from doing them to maybe once every couple a months to three or four days a week. It got so bad last year when my daughter was born i left the hospital instead of staying with my girlfriend for the night so i could go home and get high my excuse was i wanted to go home and clean for when they came home the next day i knew i was getting in bad, then i tried to stop and experienced the worst pain in my life I mean the withdrawls were horrible but i got my hands on some subs that someone got for me and told me would work and went four days with out doing any drugs then that turned into six months i was doing so well going to the gym everyday getting my life back to normal. The dealer moved out of the building so i was good then i started doing them again and i really want them out of my life now im doing fentyl patches, oxys and methadones im such a scumbag i have a patch in my mouth right now and i knew i was doing bad i was supposed to stop today after doing oxys for three days in a row even on thanksgiving but iwas sitting at home feeling depressed and bored so i just went and got a patch i really need to conquer this i am a very strong willed person and know i can do this i have three and a half subs and plan on starting them on monday to quit again and for good this time so i came across this site and hopefully it will help me on my road to recovery any insight and help would be greatly appreicated

24hrsAday

Welcome to SR Loyalty! more people will be along shortly.. i'm an alcoholic who smoked a lot of pot.. you can do it ODAAT!

Dee74

Hi loyalty4eva
Welcome to SR

I don't think it's about willpower at all - it's about accepting you have a problem, committing to stopping, and finding the right support.

Have you thought of something like NA? It sounds to me like you could use some real life numbers to call.

You should also check out our substance abuse forum:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Hope to see you around
D

loyalty4eva

yes i def admit to having a problem and i know that and i am really commited to stopping i am tired of wasting my money and time and not being loyal to myself and my family

BeachAngel

Welcome here, there is lots of great info and support. My best to you....

24hrsAday

NA is a good idea.. you will also find good support on this site as well.. hope you stick around a while! take care!

Aysha

Well, If it was all about will power I think alot of us would have gone as far down as we did.
So find a good support system, and combine that with your will power and get to it.
I dont think alot of people can do it alone or with will power alone.
I have no doubt you can do it.
Welcome and glad you are here.

christin1225

Sounds pretty much like the typical addict to me, not a scumbag.

My personal experience seems to say that the stronger willed the person (me), the harder it is to break the addiction. That doesn't mean that you can't do it. I'm just warning you, you might find yourself fighting yourself in the process.

Other than logging on to SR, what else are you doing differently this time that you didn't do before? That was my greatest stumbling block to quitting at first. I kept attempting to quit but doing it in the same way (no one knowing that I was an addict, sneaking to meetings for support, not telling my doctors). I just knew that this time it was going to be different. It never was. So, you may want to ask yourself, "What am I doing new to help ensure that i can do this?"

Congratulations on deciding to get clean, Loyalty4eva.

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. Lots of good help here.