firestorm090

Ok, so I've decided to go into rehab Friday morning and maybe I'm a little thin skinned at this time. So be it.

Tonight I went to an AA meeting, as my new sponsor suggested and when it came time to speak, I mentioned that I'm going into rehab on Friday and I'm glad I'm here. That was it, no big fanfare, just "I'm here" and so be it.

After the meeting was over, I went outside with the others and as I was leaving I was confronted by a couple of guys who said, and I quote, " You don't need to go to rehab, the answer is here, at these meetings."

I didn't know what to say, so I just kinda shrugged it off, but my first inclination was to smack these young punks upside the head. Here are a couple of 20 yr olds trying to tell me I don't need rehab. Jeez. I wanted to smack them so hard, I wanted to say, " Hey, listen idiot, I've been married longer than you've been alive, so who the hell are you to tell me what the hell I need or don't need". It took all the discipline I could muster to just say, " Yea, okay, I'll keep that in mind".

I'm sure I was wrong on some level, but I'm not an idiot, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck and I'll be damned if these young morons will affect my decision to get my life on track in whatever way I deem fit.

Overall , I'm glad I went, but I have to say, some of these people in recovery must be taken with a grain of salt, because they know not of what they speak.

basIam

what do you expect to get out of rehab? Been to rehab three times. never worked. Thats just my experience..

Been sober 8 years now, and that was by getting a sponsor in rooms of AA and working the steps.

All rehab can really do for you is dry you out. tell you you are an alcoholic. and then they send you to AA because they know they have no better answer. just an experienced opinion.

Rehab = an awful expensive big book.

Whatever the case, If one isn't open to suggestions from people who have been sober longer than you despite their age and the time you been married, there is little hope of recovery - rehab or no rehab.

I don't like rehabs. too much psychobabble, not enough recovery. They fill people up with alot of useless self knowledge.

I bet if you had said what you really wanted to say, you probably would have gotten 'hey smartie pants, we've managed to stay sober longer than you, what the hell do you know about recovery"

hey, if you think you need it, by all means, do it. but those kids are correct.

Rehab wont tell you that, they want your insurance money. and hopefully, you'll enjoy it so much, you'll be a repeat customer.

Dee74

Dallas,

I think it's great you're going to rehab.

All of us owe it to ourselves to try everything we can, and I know you've tried a few different things.

Different approaches clearly work for different people - I've seen rehab help others here and I'm hoping it can do the same for you.

good luck

D

Aysha

Everyone has their own opinion. Rehab helped me simply by putting somewhere that made me eat, breathe and live recovery.
I was not safe on my own. I would not have structured my life around recovery had I not gone.
I wouldnt have even known what to do. I was just turned down from rehab for the second time because they said I do not qualify for that level of care.
So I find it hard to believe its only for the money.
My father went to rehab then sober living and has been sober for 24 yrs.
I think rehab is a great place for people who need that push to get going in recovery. Ones like me who havent been able to disipline ourselves enough to go to meetings.

FS..You do what you think will help you. I dont think those young guys were trying to be smart. Maybe it was meant in a different way. More like...We can help you right here.
But if your like me, I need to be somewhere that is going to push me to focus on my recovery more than an hour a day in the beginning.
After I get the routine down and see what being clean is about. Then maybe I can be left to depend on myself to get to meetings. Sometimes we need that stucture that we cant give ourselves.
Like was said to you in your other thread. That is a huge decision and one I think you can get alot out of. Especially since like me you cant seem to do on your own.
Your going to do great. Just listen and keep an open mind.

Bamboozle

Do what you gotta do, FS. And congrats on being the better person in that situation...that's huge. I probably would have hurled several sarcastic remarks or said a simple F-U. I tend to do that when people offer unsolicited advice.

Sugah

I have the utmost respect for those who put down the booze, walked into an AA meeting and never drank again. I'm happy they could do it, and I'm happy the folks who don't have rehab as an option can look to them and know it can be done.

I did go to rehab, and I value the time I had to focus completely on the job of getting and being sober. I hope you see this as the opportunity that it is -- 28 days, or however many they allow you to stay, to clear your head and commit yourself to the things you're going to need to do to stay sober. It's a gift, and not everyone sees it as such. I hope you see it and embrace it.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

P.S. I finally met the god of my understanding while I was in rehab.

littlefish

Just chalk it up to a little bit of inexperience. I have never seen anything but support for rehab in the rooms of AA: many of the old timers I respect started out that way. Just remember AA is an organization with a horizontal structure and not heirarchal. No one is an expert and no one is boss. It makes for a free environment where anyone can offer their opinion. That is a strength and weakness. I have never encountered a negative attitude towards rehab in my time in AA.

But, of course I can't say it won't happen. AA is kind of like going on a camping trip where everyone is scout leader and everyone is trying to follow the map. Naturally that will cause for confusion, but in the end I believe the true leaders will present themselves and provide the direction that is needed.

helpformyson

Only YOU know what YOU need.

Good luck

Mark75

My experience with rehab was that if I wanted to continue in my career, I had to go. It was not a decision that I wrestled with after trying to get sober on my own. I'll never know if I would have been able to do it without.

However, for me, it gave me a base of 60 days of continuous sobriety coupled with a really good understanding of the 12 step program.

Willingness germinated at the treatment center and then grew after I came home.

So my experience is different than yours will be. You are going in with some willingness... It will only grow and begin to thrive as you go through treatment. You will have resources right there to help you deal with all those monsters under the bed.

Your truth, your experience is your own. Be confident that you are doing what is right for you.

Happy Thanksgiving Dallas!

Mark

Goat

Hehe, my favorite is "dude, my boots are older than you are." Of course I have to be wearing my good ol' ring boots for that to be true

I don't always post on your threads, but I read them all... And I think trying rehab is a good choice for you.

There will always be naysayers. I think it's good-intentioned, though it may be self-serving. I think some of the long-timers are really worried that if their inner voice of alcohol hears them admit that there might be another way then it might wreak havoc on their sobriety.

Hehe, if that statement pisses anyone off, then I'm talking about everyone ELSE, not you, cause clearly you aren't that way

The great thing about advice, though, is that it's advice. It's not mandatory. People advise me that I should try drinking a beer or two, and that it'll be ok. So I hear their advice, thank them for it, and go about my business of not drinking.

Good luck in rehab. I hope it is the thing that kicks you into where you want to be!

-Goat

soberinwpg

My thinking is it can't hurt to go.

firestorm090

Thanks for all your replies.

After thinking about it, I realised the guys meant no harm and were just saying what worked for them. That's ok.

I've already commited to rehab and feel I need to follow through, or it will be just another false start, so I'm going to rehab to build a foundation upon which I can continue to build a new sober way of living.

Maybe I can get some help with this anger issue I have as well, lol. Gotta stop wanting to smack people, lol.

Happy Thanksgiving SR.

Ago

Dallas,

You have the biggest bat you will ever need in early meetings with dealing with ignorant well wishers that know what's "best" for you and what you "should" do.

A sponsor who has a sponsor who has a sponsor who has a sponsor who has a sponsor.......

"Thank You, I already have a sponsor AND a God, but thanks for offering to fill these positions" is a highly effective statement I used to those in their "terrible two's" with the affliction they suffer from, which is they know everything about everything and the answers for, not only themselves, but everyone else whatever the evidence indicates.

As in, if they are an alcoholic, they don't know what's best for themselves, so if they don't know what's best for themselves, who in the hell died and made them God so they know what's best for others?

or else I just say, "You know, I talk to God every day, and it's funny, but he never once mentioned you"

or even "God??? God?? is that you????"

Their God allowed them their mistakes, and allowed them their path, so now they know more then God?

Alcoholics generally speaking like to run around and "Play God" they are full of advice, and they frequently know whats best for you, early sobriety doesn't help this characteristic in the slightest.

The bad news?

If all goes well you will be suffering from this affliction yourself soon. Thankfully you come from strong sponsorship who will b1tchslap you to the pavement for that behavior, but we all go through it, plenty of time to cross that bridge when you get to it, personally I am looking forward to it, I am going to torture you mercilessly once you know everything.

So go, get well, we have work to do my friend.

oh...and Dallas?

Everything and everybody are going to **** you off for awhile, including and especially people in rehab.

Try not to listen to your head for awhile, it's not really your best friend at the moment.

Lemme know if you want my phone #

CarolD

All my best as you begin this adventure Dallas

Aysha

You have no idea how much I agree with that. Def gotta get my anger under control.
You will do fine. You sound like your ready to commit. And alot of times thats all it takes. Is complete 100% willing to surrender.

OZboy

..'stone throwers'!!..don't ya just luv em??

..hang in there, my friend :ghug3 ozy..

BeachAngel

You should do whatever it is that keeps your sober another day regardless of what anyone else says.

Good luck to you and I wish you the best

BA

laurie6781

I was 11 days sober when I went to a closed meeting that was to become my home group. After the meeting I was outside with my sponsor and her hubby when this old timer came up to me and said "Missy I spilled more than you drank." In my 'cocky, didn't give a damn attitude' I looked at him and replied "gee you must have been a really sloppy drunk."

My sponsors hubby started laughing so hard I thought he was going to p his pants. When he could finally say anything at all, he introduced me to 'Crazyhorse' and then said "Crazyhorse, you didn't, this girl drank so much she did die." Crazyhorse became one of my dearest friends, and hardest critics and I have missed him every day since he passed several years ago.

Just because some of us have been in AA a while or a long time, does not mean we have the greatest 'tact' in the world Dallas. I am glad you thought about it some more and have a bit mor open mind. Those young fellows may have just been repeating what they were told early in their own recovery.

You feel you need rehab, then you go. It certainly won't hurt you, rofl and we'll be here when you return. You'll be able to pull up your chair and keyboard like you never left. Only differece will be more days of recovery under your belt and some tools to help you continue that recovery.

Love and hugs,

Ago

Hehe

The only thing worse in AA then old guys is young guys

I remember once ... I don't know...10-15 years ago, I was at the before the meeting meeting and I was whinging about some girl in the program I was dating and this kid comes up and proceeds to lecture me about dating in AA

I said, "Son, how old are you?"

He said 17 or 18, I don't remember one of those 2, so I said "Son, I was sleeping around in this program when you were still stealing yo daddy's Playboys and sniffing airplane cement. Maybe you should stick to your own experience"

A few years later he comes up to me after a meeting and tells me he needs to make an amends to me, I had known him for some years at this time so I was like...OK, shoot

So he says "remember that time years ago...and he brought up that conversation

yeah?

He says, well I'd like to apologize, you see, the truth of the matter is I was still a virgin, I had never even kissed a girl at that time

After we finished laughing, I had accepted his apology, I still see him around now, he's probably in his mid 30's now? maybe early 30's?

Anyhow, the only people that know more then old timers that know everything, is the young guys that don't know sh1t.

I do love AA, I really do, I'm glad I got to grow up in it.