Muffinhead72

Hi! I'm a mom, wife etc. and this is day 16 for me. (again)

My question to you all (Longtimers esp.) Is Why are my feelings/moods so out of whack? I'm all over the place. Crying, Mad, Angry, Disapointed, Resentful, Lonely, sometimes...rarely...happy. I think this is why I always started back up. I feel like the sober me is worse than the drinking me. I was they type who drank at night, or with the girls, and everything was a celebration or reason to drink. Mostly, happy drinking. I was a nice/mellow drunk. Of Course, I always went to far. It hurts to feel all of the feelings all of the time and I am taking it out on my husband and kids...and myself. I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. Thanksgiving is this week. I'm hosting at my house. Family does not know and will question. I'm just really down and feel so alone. I'm going to a women's AA group today. Went 14 days ago and then missed a few due to weather and family issues. Also, there are MANY other things going on in our lives that are external negative forces put on us and it is compounding these feelings. Usually, a couple bottles of wine, vodka, rum....would ease the thoughts/pain. Now, I'm just running on feelings overload. How long until I can get these feelings more rational? I don't want to ruin Thanksgiving with my crazy feelings/outbursts right now.
Thanks! MH72

bananagrrrl

Hey MH72 and congratulations on your sobriety. This is a tough time for newcomers, I think. I have just over 90 days and I am still right there with you with raw feelings and worrying about not drinking around relatives and needing to explain it.

What helps me is to slow down. I tend to hurry through things, in my mind and in life. Take deep breaths and pray a lot. That helps with the anxiety. Reading my BB and other literature and writing in my journal are other ways I cope as well as calling my sponsor.

For the mood swings, I don't know what to tell you. Go to as many meetings as you can and listen to other alcoholics. We are kind of all in the same boat.

smacked

I was very similar in my drinking patterns as you, also in my recovery I experienced a lot of the same mood swings and emotional 'all over the place'-ness you're going through. I used alcohol as a way to celebrate, medicate, ease boredom, get to sleep (you name it),and never learned other ways to cope with life, good or bad. That's when I found myself a bit lost.. I didn't know HOW to still celebrate, cope, get to sleep (etc), and that's where a good addictions counselor was absolutely KEY to my recovery, I had to learn how to live sober, instead of just trying to survive abstinent from alcohol. I couldn't do that part on my own, that's for sure.

justanothrdrunk

Sounds like maybe you gots the PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome).

Search this site, google, etc. Tons of information out there about it - it's very common for us.

c49

OK. Similar roller coaster to what you described and I always caved back into Vodka instead of waiting it out... WHY???... Well, I think we all thought the brain would smooth out when the hangovers went away... only to find out that was just the beginning.

"Under the Influence" is an excellent book if you haven't already heard of it and it pays a great deal of attention to all the collateral damage inflicted by years of drinking. It explains in laymans terms the complexity to which our drinking has affected our entire body... system wide.

Reading this book (its short) helped me and the book offered some practical help as well. Take your vitamins (you may be, oddly enough, malnourished simply because of alcohol despite a perfectly healthy diet) balance the diet if its not already, and get some exercise. If you can find PATIENCE in the bake shop then add that to your list too!

Another interesting article that confirms how beneficial exercise is to our well being and why I believe it should be an integral part of sobriety: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/1...-less-anxious/

If all the above fails or worsens then see your Doc. NO ONE should ever have to live with unexplainable stress! Good Luck!

Dee74

Good advice here
Here's a link to PAWs that may help Muffinhead - welcome to SR

Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

D

Hevyn

Muffinhead, it's all completely normal & to be expected. That doesn't make it any easier to get through, though. Just know that we've all been there and made it out - this too shall pass & better days are coming. This will be my second sober holiday season in many years. It's so much better than last year - I was still very resentful. Once you see you can get through this - even enjoy it - with a clear head, you'll feel very encouraged. Just think, no hangover on the Friday after!

I remember my first calendar year after quitting as being a bit of a challenge. Each holiday and change of season brought with it many triggers. I stayed the course because I didn't want to return to square one. I hope your women's meeting was helpful today - I think it's great you're getting that extra help - something I probably should have done.

Let us know how you're doing!

Krismutt1

I'm reading, " Beyond the Influence" right now and it has some interesting information regarding that "anxiousness" we feel and how it is actually directly linked to the amount of alcohol we consume. I read a few chapters last night that focused on the fact that our brains become altered with alcohol and in turn actually makes us MORE anxious and stressed rather than the latter. Sobriety is the only thing that will calm your brain and help eventually return to normal. (according to this book)

Take time for YOU! Whether it's time to exercise or curl up with a book or go to a meeting. I too have kids, husband, etc... basically a lot on my plate and this is what I am doing to stay sane and sober. Also trying to go to bed at a decent time and taking vitamins again.


Congrats on your sobriety so far! Don't give up.

Muffinhead72

Thank you to all of the replies. I am trying to stay calm and take one thing at a time...just as I'm taking one day at a time. Finding out that a quick 3 min break sitting on the porch or outside seems to help calm me a bit. But, mostly, I'm cleaning like crazy and putting the emotions/energy to work. I'm just going to burn out though and I know it.

CarolD

I'm glad you checked back with us
Please be gentle with yourself....it will get easier the longer
you stay in focus and sober.

Welcome to our recovery community
blessings to you and your family

1_day@_a_time

Because alcohol is not the problem, it's the solution to my life.

When it's taken away, I must learn a new way to live, with help.

There is a specific proven path available for me.

Thank God, because on my own, I'm helpless!

thirtybubba

Welcome to SR, Muffin

I had/have/will have that problem too... the emotional rollercoaster.

Basically, I do like they said (then again they were probably the people who told me this in the first place... thanks guys), just take it slow, take time out every so often, relax for five minutes or so. Try not to let things overwhelm me--ie, get them taken care of when the situation first arises. It does seem to work for me... although I've never made it much farther than where you are at.

Take care,
TB