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Jeckel_&_Hyde

Old 11-23-2009, 05:38 AM
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Jeckel_&_Hyde

60 days yesterday and proud of it. I actually had a fairly stressful weekend.
My elderly mother-in-law's basement was flooded from a blocked septic pipe. Yep it was just beautiful and we had to help before the clean up crew arrived.
At the end we were invited to come back for Fajitas and Margaritas (no, not in the basement ) I didn't feel like it and had absolutely no problem saying 'no thanks'. There wasn't even the slightest feeling of 'mmmmh maybe'. Didn't have to use any willpower whatsoever. It made me think about past relapses though. They were different, nothing to do with temptation. Thinking back, they were pre-meditated, almost planned. Nothing, absolutely nothing would have stopped me then. It was done in secret, without any witnesses or excusable situation. This scares me, because I don't have any defense built for this to happen again. I really wouldn't know what to do if I get to that moment again. How does Dr. Jeckel fight off Mr. Hyde?
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Old 11-23-2009, 06:02 AM
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Congratulations on your 60 days!



I think you may be on to something about the preplanned... on some level. My best suggestion is come here... I don't what I'd do if that weren't an option.
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Old 11-23-2009, 06:53 AM
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. Good job saying no honey!
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Old 11-23-2009, 07:11 AM
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Congratulations on 60 days!

Stay strong.
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Old 11-23-2009, 07:26 AM
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Hi Saphie,

How does Dr. Jekyll fight off Mr. Hyde?

That's a great question. If I recall correctly, the story involves an elixir that Dr. Jekyll has concocted and when he drinks this elixir, he becomes Mr. Hyde. What a perfect analogy of what happens to us when we drink booze. We become Mr. Hyde, in the sense that we are not ourselves, we are someone who we think we want to be, although it's just a delusion. We are the same person when drunk.... we're just drunk. It's also fitting that the story involves the secret laboratory that the Dr. used while creating his magic elixir, for we have, in our own ways created our secret labs, whether they are purses, bars we know people won't come to look for us, the basement, bathroom, and under the stars, garages, you name it, we've done it. We've hid behind trees, ducked into the alley for a quick snort, popped a shooter in the bath before returning to that boring dinner with in-laws, we're a creative bunch. We surprise ourselves sometimes with our ingenuity in getting the drink we need in even the most sober of environments.

You did what it took to fight off Mr. Hyde this time by not taking a drink. That's the key, we don't drink the magic elixir. Not easy, but much better than running down the streets screaming like a madman, or sitting at home with the drapes closed, scared of our own shadow. Oh, and that Hollywood version of Mr. Hyde, well, he looked just like me the last time I drank.....scary stuff, lol.

Way to go.
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:16 AM
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For me there has always been preplanning involved as I would relapse every weekend...the little voice would be telling me to go ahead-it's the weekend, I'm at home, daughter is asleep so it is okay. I found that coming on here helps me and I have to remember that the urge to drink will pass if I do some kind of activity for a while to get my mind off it. It may be uncomfortable but the thoughts do pass in time. Congrats on your 60 days also!
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Old 11-23-2009, 03:25 PM
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Congrats, 60 days is awesome.
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Old 11-23-2009, 03:35 PM
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This scares me, because I don't have any defense built for this to happen again.
Sure you do - you have the experience of getting through several situations now, you have SR to call on, and you're still doing AA yeah?

Stay in the day Saphie - keep doing the work and tomorrow will take care of itself

D
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Old 11-23-2009, 04:13 PM
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That's a great question. If I recall correctly, the story involves an elixir that Dr. Jekyll has concocted and when he drinks this elixir, he becomes Mr. Hyde. What a perfect analogy of what happens to us when we drink booze. We become Mr. Hyde, in the sense that we are not ourselves, we are someone who we think we want to be, although it's just a delusion. We are the same person when drunk.... we're just drunk. It's also fitting that the story involves the secret laboratory that the Dr. used while creating his magic elixir, for we have, in our own ways created our secret labs, whether they are purses, bars we know people won't come to look for us, the basement, bathroom, and under the stars, garages, you name it, we've done it. We've hid behind trees, ducked into the alley for a quick snort, popped a shooter in the bath before returning to that boring dinner with in-laws, we're a creative bunch. We surprise ourselves sometimes with our ingenuity in getting the drink we need in even the most sober of environments.
I really liked that! I can SO relate.
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Old 11-23-2009, 10:23 PM
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great JOB!!
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:14 AM
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wow, 60 days. i wish i could do that
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:15 AM
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well i mean, I CAN...and hopfully soon
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Old 11-24-2009, 03:15 AM
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How does Dr. Jeckel fight off Mr.Hyde, you asked?

Well, the simple answer is that he/you doesn't!

The Big Book of AA addresses those moments when we are unprotected from that next drink, and in those moments, it is only the condition of our spiritual lives that determines our actions. I don't know whether or not you're in AA, but this is the answer any AA oldtimer will give you. And it is not mere theory- certainly not in my own experience. I have walked away from taking a drink in situations which were tailor made for me to drink- and I wanted to take that drink, yet I did not. It is a total God deal that I didn't. I can recall one example in early sobriety when no one knew I'd stopped drinking that week and started going to AA. It was at one of my best friend's weddings, I was just 25 yrs old and all my friends were seriously partying. When the waiter came around with the champagne, I wanted it so badly I could taste it. I mean, no one there knew I had stopped and no one in AA would know if I drank, right? But I said a silent prayer asking God to please help me turn down that drink. And like that, I turned my glass over and said "no, thank you". I was shocked. But what was so cool was that at that very moment, the desire to have that drink was removed from me. And for the rest of the wedding reception,I had a blast and was not obsessed by that desire. Freaking amazing.

Anyway, there are situations like that for all of us, especially in early sobriety. That's when your relationship with your Higher Power is what matters: not your own will power!

Good luck and congrats.
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Old 11-24-2009, 04:03 AM
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thank you desert kate for your post,wonderfully put.me too saphie to what kate said,the only defense i have against taking that first drink is my spiritual condition and my relationship with the God of my understanding which i learned throught the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous,without this i would have been on the perpetual rollercoaster of trying to stop,being stopped then starting again.its not like that today,indeed as kate said,after my last drink the craving were taken away,i havnt had a craving in nearly 10 months and i barely think of drink these days,if i do it is soon replaced with another thought.the obsession has gone.pretty amazing for a hopeless chronic alcoholic! congrats on your sober time.
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Old 11-24-2009, 05:58 AM
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Congrats on the 60 days Saphie and on walking away from a possible bad situation.

I have found the same solution as DesertKate & Charmie have, I quit fighting any one or anything as I took the steps to heart with my sponsor, I have found that as long as my spiritual condition is fit, even the idea of a drink beiing a good thing for me at any time to not be an issue.

How does Dr. Jekyll fight off Mr. Hyde? For me I took the steps and I apply them to all areas of my life, I do not fight it, there is nothing to fight any more.
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