ptksue

Hello, all. I posted this earlier, but I think I did it in the women's section, and it doesn't look like anyone is in there, so please forgive my ignorance and repetitiveness. I am 41 years old, female, with 7 months and 4 days sobriety. I live in a very small town, very far from a big city. Our little AA group has 4 regular members (myself included) and 2 new one. All men. One woman comes around every few months or so, but cannot remain sober. Another woman has, I believe, 5 years or so sober, but due to circumstances in the past, we are not on very good terms. How am I to go about finding a sponsor?? Two of the men there I trust with sobriety issues, but I have no one to discuss women's issues with. I think this may be affecting my ability to work the steps correctly. Any help anyone can give would be greatly appreciated.

Sue

Tazman53

Wow Sue that is a bit of a pickle you are in. Are there any meetings maybe you could go to once a week for a while to find a lady to sponsor you? If not then perhaps call your district commitee and discuss this with them.

In my area many years ago just due to the same situation you are in right now there were a few times where a man did sponsor a woman, it worked but the men who did the sponsoring had thier spirits in the right place. I know 2 of these women, one has been sober for 33 years know and the other one 31 years.

Both of them share that it took a special man for them to have as a sponsor, but that once they were blessed with a woman as a sponsor things became easier for them. They both were thankful for the men that sponsored them at first and both were encouraged as soon as it became possible for them to seek out a lady to sponsor them.

Now you have my curiosity aroused, I will have to ask them where their lady sponsor came into the picture?

I am really a firm beleiver in same gender sponsors, perhaps one of the men could be a temporary sponsor and they could help you find a lady to sponsor you.

You will have to do what you have to do, but I really feel if there is any way for you to get a lady to sponsor you it would be best.

BTW congrats on your time sober!!! Do you all have a step study meeting? That could be of benefit for a while.

Ago

welcome

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...eedom1990.html

has direct experience with this, maybe PM her?

bananagrrrl

Is there not another little town nearby? I would be willing to make the drive to find a bigger group.

Wolfchild

barb dwyer

hi SUe!

Welcome!

I started AA in a very small town in Montana (less than 1000ppl)
but I was fifty miles from Butte.
In the local AA was the ex-wife of a man I was living with.a

yeeeeah. Principles before persaonalities, my left foot!


So I climbed in my car-
and hauled myself to butte
found the alano club
and moved in for the weekend.

got myself a sponsor
wound up spending the night at her house-
then came back to the town I was in.

We talked on the phone
I did step work both online (at the local library)
As well as in person when I could afford to get there.

In early recovery, it isn't a good idea to stray from same sex sponsorship
suggestion, IMO.
Just focus on the drinking the first year, I say.
Let all the other problems come up after twelve months.

Also - at the aa website - there's a group called 'at large' or something like that
it's for people who are in isoloated areas to be able to connect with other alcoholics in the Fellowship.

aa.org

also- SR is a fabulous accompaniement to a program of recovery.

i owe so MUCH to the availability of this website...
something I can only do a living - type gratitude tribute to pay back
the same treatment I receive when i got here.

I hope some of this someplace helps.

if you want you can PM me and maybeI can help you find an alternative in your area?

tHE INTERNET IS A godsend when long drives
and bad weather are a barrier.

I hope I've managed to say something helpful - welcome!

totfit

I wouldn't think you would have to talk about your issues with another alcoholic necessarily. Actually, for most friends, family, doctors, priests, therapists, etc can be much more helpful in the long run. I wouldn't get hung up on "working" the steps "correctly" as there is not correct or incorrect or certainly no perfect way to do this. Sounds like you really need a friend. Look outside the room if there is no one in it.

Silverbullet

Hi Sue, I understand the slim pickens, I don't see how the gender of the member hinders the 12 step work. I have a sponsor that has issues with relationships and I go to the other members for those issues. I don't go my sponsor for everything.