Old 11-09-2009, 09:04 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 59

AA suggests that you not get into a romantic relationship until you're at least one year sober, but that's not practical for those of us who are already in relationships. We still have our partners to think of, as well as ourselves.

For the first week or so, I had absolutely no desire for sex. I had flu-like symptoms, and wasn't able to sleep much at all. My girlfriend took it a bit personally, claiming that I wasn't really attracted to her because now that I'm sober, I didn't have a desire for sex with her. The antidepressants probably factored in, as well.

Now, at the start of the 3rd week, my sexual desire has returned with a vengance. My girlfriend is happy to discover that I'm fully capable of having sex while sober, and I seem to have a lot of extra "sexual energy" nowadays. I'll just say it: I'm horny all the freakin' time! I get turned on my attractive women at the mall, at work, who pass me in cars - everywhere!

I'm curious to know how quitting substance abuse affected your sex life...
NightStalker is offline  
Old 11-09-2009, 09:31 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
smacked's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I think AA recommends not making any big changes in your life in a year, such as new relationships etc.. Of course that has nothing to do with anyone already in a relationship etc..

As for the libido thing, I had too much to work on outside of that that I honestly can't remember paying any attention to it. How's that for a non answer? lol.. By the time I was 'done' and needed the help that I got, I hated myself. I felt disgusted by the way I had been living. I don't remember being able to share myself intimately (sexually OR otherwise) with my partner for a very long time.. if I had, it would have been just that, a physical act likely masking other stuff I was trying to communicate. All's well now though
smacked is offline  
Old 11-09-2009, 10:09 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 59
Interesting, Smack. Thanks for the input.
NightStalker is offline  
Old 11-09-2009, 10:12 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Sugah's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
AA doesn't have an official stance, though some sponsors will suggest not diving into anything major before getting the steps under one's belt. There are good reasons for that. Alcoholics are good at the substitution game.

I have never heard it suggested that someone newly sober should withdraw from a relationship unless that relationship is abusive or otherwise harmful. Getting sober is about learning to live life on life's terms, not about ditching responsibilities or commitments because they are distractions to sobriety. The member, not the sponsor, not AA, has to make those kinds of decisions.

Peace & Love,
Sugah is offline  
Old 11-09-2009, 02:26 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
ex D-Boy's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: East Coast to the Deep South
Posts: 828
What your going through is perfectly normal. You dont mention what you are getting sober from but speaking as an exclusive opiate addict (heroin + oxycontin) I went through much of the same when I got sober.

The last year of my using my little guy was in a permanent coma. The only time he would awaken was if mass quantities of viagra was taken. Megan Fox could have been in my house throwing herself at me and I would have not been interested in the slightest.

After getting over the dopesickness (about a week and a half into sobriet) my hormones sky rocketed!! I felt like I was going through puberity all over again. After another few weeks my sexual desire dropped down to a normal level and has stayed that way since. My girlfriend at the time had no problems with my increased sexual needs when I first got sober. In fact, she was thrilled, because it was no longer a chore like I would make it out to be while I was using.

Good job on getting sober man!!
ex D-Boy is offline  
Old 11-09-2009, 02:31 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
ashleek's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Paris KY
Posts: 255
I became a SEX MONSTER and I don't know where it came from. It's like your senses are awakened and everything feels extra good. It's nuts! So it is normal and unfortunelty this will pass. Well it did for me anyway. But it's normal!
ashleek is offline  
Old 11-10-2009, 07:44 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 59
Thanks for the comments, everyone. Very helpful!
NightStalker is offline  
Old 11-10-2009, 07:55 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
shaun00's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
If this was posted in the mens forum i would be more specific.
Dont worry too much most of that bedroom "stuff" balances out after time.
shaun00 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:58 AM.