NEOMARXIST

It undoubtably helps to not feel like drinking when you have that attitude of gratitude. When the gratitude for being sober and your life in general diminishes then the thought of indulging in something, which by all accounts is your favourite activity in the universe bar none (remember there is a fine line between love and hate) ie- getting blitzed, becomes a very strong one in which the ego/alcoholic mind screams at you that you deserve it and you only live once so why deny yourself that gratification that you so desire. Of course it is a lie as no sooner do you indulge then sooner or later you will be reminiscing about how the sober life with it's even keel rather than peaks and troughs was the correct one.

I am finding that not discounting the possibility that one day in the future I will be able to indulge is helping me stay sober One day at a time and I am sure that if that day in the future never arrives then i will still be sober.

I am just gonna try and chill out more about things again and try to let them be without thinking too deeply about what may or may not happen. What I am feeling at the moment is a very strange overall body feeling to do with my self or something, it is a feeling that I cannot describe in words or explain to anyone kind of like a very profound acid trip in which no words can describe what you were feeling either.


Peace and Love xxx

dojoro

Well said...I feel the same way. Just learned about the importance of gratitude yesterday...and more importantly the gifts that we are given in life which I have so often ignored. Since I started to be grateful and aware I am feeling so calm and happy...really not to different from that first drink...feeling all warm and cozy inside. I hope this feeling and my ability to be grateful stays with me because like you said it does make it just a little easier.

Jo

ElegantlyWasted

" how the sober life with it's even keel rather than peaks and troughs was the correct one."

For me right now it's hills and valleys instead of mountain tops and canyons. Everything is manageable though. No arrests is a good thing as is constructive conversation instead of totally shutting people out (which in hindsight was simply a mechanism to continue drinking). I get my adrenelin fix by doubling the speed limit in school zones on my bike and smiling for the photo radar. It's more fun to be harmlessly naughty than to drink and risk the possibility of really really bad stuff happening. I am greateful for this new life and hope to never slip back to what I was. It's more fun having fun w out the booz.

Dee74

You do only live once Neo - and having explored drinking and non drinking, I know where the living is

good share - thanks!
D

Threshold

I resisted sobriety a long time because I thought it was about denial and a state of stiff upper lipped acceptance of all the fun I could never have again, but I am learning that it has nothing to do with going without, and everything to do with being free to make choices and have all sorts of good things.

I didn't really want sobriety before, I felt it was something I was supposed to do...abstain.

now I know it's not about what I don't do, but about what I DO do, live more fully, not in the cage I was trapped in.

I know how important it is to do my recovery work though, because I've played the addiction go round way too long, using a new high to replace the one I gave up, rather than working on ME, and figuring out why I needed to be lost in any sort of high at all, instead of fully experiencing whatever I was doing.

sometimes I am so there, I mean I can take real pleasure in a good crap, or a clever passage in a book, or a cup of hot tea to warm my frigid hands on, not manufactured pleasure, but real deep down honest to goodness gratitude causing joy in that stuff.

I spent decades where most of my energy went into either pushing some things away or hoarding other things (or experiences), I was NOT ok with sitting on the shore of my life and watching the waves come in and out on their own.

I was afraid that the Universe wouldn't get it right without me showing it how to do it's job. Now I see I never was in control, that all the elements of joy are available to me in the life I have, and I can chill out because it's all within reach. I can say "thank you" before it's even in my hand, because I know the Universe provides.