a fallen man

today is day 60 for me. just another day but full of everyday blessings.

took today off from work as i have to use or lose 4 vacation days before the end of the year. in the past, having a friday off would have meant getting knee walking drunk on thursday night. and feeling like you know what this morning.

but i didn't....i was able to follow my son in his vehicle to drop it off to be worked on yesterday evening. in the past i would have been risking a dui as i started on the vodka as soon as i left work. not when i got home...while driving home. i always kept it in the car. i could not drive home 7 miles without having a really long pull on the vodka. (i probably could have...but i didn't)

his car wasn't ready so i had to drive him to basketball practice at 9:00 and when it was over at 10:00 we went to pick it up. i can't tell you how many times i've sat in my car while he was in at practice and hit on the vodka waiting for him to come out....always measuring myself...thinking i'm not drunk....and i honestly didn't feel that way. would i have blown a dui...probably.

i have now gone 60 wakeups without starting my day off hurling water or stomach bile as that would be the only thing on my stomach when i got up. almost every single day. start the car....open the door and lean out while it was warming up and having dry heaves as my body tried to reject the way it had been poisoned. not any more. it feels great. normalcy feels great.

i know this may be gross but just taking a good old country 'crap' is now normal. sorry about that one but it is a blessing compared to every day diarrhea because the vodka is just tearing your stomach up.

i feel for the folks just starting out. you were me 60 days ago. physically ill and hating myself for what i had become. it's one of the reasons i check this page daily. it reminds me where i was such a short time ago. and i say a little prayer when i read the posts that could have easily been written by me.

i am so thankful for this board. i am so thankful for the folks that are here to welcome the newcomers and share their time earned wisdom.

i'm able to drive now without fear of getting jailed. i'm able to not be 'angry' in the evenings if i have to drive my wife somewhere because it either causes me to risk a dui or put off getting my drink on until late.

the urges have been few lately. they still come occasionally but not nearly as strongly as they did early on. i have loved reading all the links to the physical changes in the brain and other organs caused by alcohol. they make a lot of sense and explain a lot of things to me.

i've enjoyed going to ballgames and remembering them the next day. i know that sounds crazy but that was just the way it was. waste money on a ticket and not remember crap about it the next day.

i turned 50 on the 23rd of last month and in honor ran a 5k on the 31st. well jogged and walked is a better description....there is no way i could have done that if i had not stopped drinking. i would have been puking water in front of several hundred people after about 1 minute of running.

i've finished projects around the house and done a better job on paying bills. i'm more productive at work. i'm just a better person than when i drink. sorry this got so long but i don't post often. i do read daily. thanks to all who have helped me whether you knew you did or not.

sailorjohn

Congratulations!!!

Tazman53

a fallen man that post is awesome, there is in my book no such thing as too much gratitude, your share helped all of us. Thanks.

CarolD

Kjell

Great news! I just relasped BAD this Saturday and am facing criminal charges w/ yet another DUI, so kudos for you for not even having to worry about that.

I hope to be where you're at sooner than later.

thanks for sharing

Toomutch

Great Post! Congratulations!

Threshold

Thanks, I needed to read this

dojoro

Wow! The being annoyed about having to drive at night I can relate to. I have always wondered how people go anywhere at night. Wouldn't they rather be home drinking. I missed the first PTO meeting for that very reason.

Congratulations! I'd love to see the links about your brain/organs and alcohol...can you paste them for me or point me in the right direction. Thanks.

Jo

a fallen man

my life was built around me drinking at home. i couldn't wait until there were no more obligations so i could just start hammering the vodka. i ended up resenting my sons and wife when i had to drive them somewhere as in my twisted mind they were keeping me from the vodka...even if it was just for a few hours. what's really funny now is my youngest son is now 17 and has his full license and that would really free me up.....lol. but i'd rather have what i have now than my vodka haze.

i'm sorry but i don't have the links. one of the everyday posters has them and if they read this i'm sure they will provide them. one of the things that i didn't realize is that it takes a minumum of 90 days for your body to start shaking off the effects. sure, you can get past the shakes and not sleeping after the first couple weeks.

it just told about how the body processes the alcohol and what changes it does on it's own to adjust itself to the increased intake and how alkies seem to process it differently than non-alkies actually leading to reasons we're more succeptible to it.

ElegantlyWasted

Congrats!!! Keep I rollin...

Dee74

Congrats FM

D

LovesToTravel

Thanks for the positive post...it helps us all.

Wolfchild