serenelife

I made it through my first day! And did I struggle, I actually got all the way to the wine aisle and stood there and looked at the bottle for I don't know how long because a clerk came and asked if he could help me find something. :wtf2 I looked at him and said, "No thank you, I am just looking." At that point, something clicked and I turned and walked away and got iced tea and chips instead.

I got to my car and started feeling guilty about what had just happened. And boy was it major guilt because I started to cry. It took a few moments for it to set in that in the seat next to me was a bottle of tea and not wine. And that I did win that round.

I have found some AA meetings that I am going to go to in the next couple of days. The anxiety is bad but I seem to be getting through it.

And the insomnia is killing me. I would just like to be able to get more than a couple of hours of sleep..

Hoping that day two is much better.

Dawnmha

That just shows how strong you are - that you can actually go to the store and consider buying booze and change your mind. That takes a lot of strength and you should be really proud of yourself. I don't know many people that could have done that after actually going to the store and considering buying it. Good luck!

Dawn

serenelife

Thanks for the encouragement. I decided that I am not going to wait a couple of days to go to AA, I am going tonight.

Bard

Good work! I know it's hard when your looking that beast right in the eyes like that. Being able to walk away from it shows some true commitment and heart to see this thing all the way through. Congrats again!

Tazman53

That is awesome, I have found that recovery takes ACTION!!!!!

Action I have found leads to rewards, action leads to progress.

For many years I thought that they key to sobriety was INACTION!!!!

All I had to do was stop drinking and instantly every thing would be good again!!!

Well I would become irratable, anxious, and discontent, I would sit on my hands waiting.... doing NOTHING!!!! I was not drinking and things were HORRIBLE!!!!! I would feel like I was really going to lose it........... I would always go back to drinking before I went nuts.

Actions are what has allowed me to stay sober and really enjoy being sober.

thirtybubba

You might as well. Courage / strength, they happen, but how much of a gambler are you? When it comes to your life?

So... what happened? (Ok, I have no life, and I'm actually curious to hear what all happened when you went to AA...)

-TB, who really doesn't have a life

yeahgr8

It's great that you are going to a meeting tonight, try and get to meet some people and maybe stick around after for a chat!

Reading taz's post reminds me of the times i used to try and get sober by myself, the few months of white knuckling it by just putting down the drink and wondering why i didn't feel better.

There is a saying that i wouldn't swap my worst day sober for my best day whilst drinking (something like that anyway)...that is true now through working the AA program and getting into the fellowship...before when i was white knuckling i would have quite happily swapped my worst day not drinking to my best day whilst drinking...and always did after a time;-)

Let us know how you get on tonight:-)

Anna

Each time you get through a situation like that, you will become stronger.

vegibean

Hey, hope you looked for a sponsor................ hee hee. Sorry, had to throw that out there.

Good for you, so glad you went ahead and hit a meeting too.

hebrewdiva

The insomnia is killing me too...I know exactly what you're going through. I woke up at 3 this morning, watched Cold Case and Without A Trace, and attempted to go back to sleep. :P

Hope your first meeting went well! Hang in there!

mirage

Congratulations on your good desicion making! Hope that meeting helps you!

Dee74

I hope the meeting goes well...or went well...I can never get the hang of this timezone thing LOL

D

TTOSBT

What a HUGE accomplishment! Congratulations.
I am with Taz, it is all about action.

And take care of yourself. Stay away from situation like that as often as you can.
For the first 90 days, I took my husband grocery shopping once a week and we got EVERYTHING so I did not have to pop into stores by myself.
I tried everything I could not to trigger myself. I took a different way home from work (to not pass the liquor stores I used to stop at), and I did my best to avoid situations that would tempt me until I felt a little stronger and had a bit of time under my belt. I also went to a lot of meetings (90 in 90) because that is where I could share what I was going through and they would understand and it is where I could get the support I needed. I am so grateful that I did that. My husband is a normie and still does not understand what a huge deal this is to me and for me. But you know what? That is ok. He does not need to cause I got people for that. lol

Keep coming back!!

Wolfchild

serenelife

Day two went great, thanks to coming home from work with a fever and chills. All I wanted to do was sleep and that is what I did. I still feel like a truck ran over me but it is a better feeling that being hung over. I am hoping to break this fever and get to a meeting today. I really wanted to go yesterday but felt with the flu going around, it was in not only my best interest but also for others that I didn't go.

Hoping to get better soon...