Hi I am a newbie
I don't know if I am posting in the right forum. You have a great many forums and already I feel I am going to find the knowledge and awareness I seek.
I don't even know if I am on the right board or if you will all be upset with me.
I have no addiction and never have had - at least, not in the accepted sense of the word.
I currently have a good friend whom I have known for 8 months and for the first six months I knew her, she was dry. She then fell off the wagon, and a mutual friend who has since backed right off from her, told me the whole story plus some background.
My friend is a lovely person. But I am hating the illness that I see in her...it's like a cancer, eating away at her, terrifying her because she cannot live with it and she cannot live without it.
We have talked a fair bit since I was made aware of her illness.
I have had some experience of this before in others but can categorically say that this friend is suffering worse than any other person I have known in the past.
I care about her too much to just walk out of her life, as several others have done even after this latest slip. But I cannot stand by and let her kill herself with drink. So I am in a quandary.
I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last week. It was helpful and I know I need to keep going for a while yet.
My friend wriggled out of an Open AA meeting we were both going to go to together and at the time I didn't feel I had enough knowledge or strength to encourage her to get back on track.
I have read so much over the last few days; I found this board and although I am maybe on the wrong side of the fence here, I saw enough to realise that it could actually give me a lot of support and insight, because so far I feel I am floundering, being pulled in all directions, people suggesting I do this, do that, leave her alone, stick around, etc etc and I am only just now starting to understand a lot more of how her everyday life is for her...I cannot feel exactly how she feels because I do not have the addiction that she has, but I can put myself in her shoes and have a certain understanding of it.
And reading and listening to many others, all so different and yet sharing a common bond, is starting to help me understand so much better what my friend is going through.
So I hope you don't think I am an "interloper" - a "spy" - whatever!!!
I want to be around for my friend and more importantly, I want her to be around for many more years to come.
She has a son and a husband. Neither will go to Open AA not to Al-Anon. Maybe they once were supportive but they have reached that point where they have had to back off. Maybe one day I too will have to reach that point?
But for now, I love her and care about her, and she is worth this.