One thing/moment that changed you as a person?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 28
At around 14 or 15 - my grandfather sitting me on his lap and saying, "Honey, I just want you to know that my life has been more than I could ever have hoped for and I am a happy and contented man. Your grandmother, your aunts and your dad have been the delight of my life; and there have been too many blessings to count."
Then he continued, "So when I die, I don't want you to be sad. Dying is part of living. I'm not going to die now, or anytime soon, as far as I know, but when I do, I want you to remember me telling you this, and want you to remember that it is all OK for me."
We were always very close and his love for me was unconditional. When he died, a few years later, feeling my grief and also honoring his request completely re-wired my relationship to death, to grief . . . to reality.
It was a blessing beyond words that changed my life forever. Thank you, Grandpa.
And thanks, Ash, for the great question and the opportunity to tell that story.
Then he continued, "So when I die, I don't want you to be sad. Dying is part of living. I'm not going to die now, or anytime soon, as far as I know, but when I do, I want you to remember me telling you this, and want you to remember that it is all OK for me."
We were always very close and his love for me was unconditional. When he died, a few years later, feeling my grief and also honoring his request completely re-wired my relationship to death, to grief . . . to reality.
It was a blessing beyond words that changed my life forever. Thank you, Grandpa.
And thanks, Ash, for the great question and the opportunity to tell that story.
FREAKING AWESOME!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Paris KY
Posts: 255
Wow Astro that was beautiful, I am so afraid of when my grandparents go. I am an adult and know that it is apart of life but they raised me, they are my rock and I don't want them to leave me. My grandfather is the only father I ever knew and to see him sick kills me. He has gotten older and it kills my soul to see him so run down. I know they aren't going to live forever and I know his life has been wonderful and blessed. To think about it almost makes me cry.
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
When I was small, I stayed at my grandparents house most weekends and something that has always stuck in my mind was : my grandfather drinking and getting angry with my grandmother. He picked up (what seem to be the biggest ashtray) and threw it at her.
I remember screaming at him and punching him for it but you know I never saw him do it again.
Now maybe thats why I continued to stay at there at weekends, who knows!
I remember screaming at him and punching him for it but you know I never saw him do it again.
Now maybe thats why I continued to stay at there at weekends, who knows!
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
Getting drunk and calling my gf and parents and not remembering what I said made me believe that a hp and not drinking was the only way. It's worked so far! And I have a good idea of what I need to do to make the rest of my life work for me...
Last edited by ElegantlyWasted; 10-14-2009 at 03:25 PM.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Lavash a fellow 'rat' lover hey:-) I rescued 2 in Gibraltar 7 years ago, they ended up staying with my ex and now i couldn't get them back for love nor money...quote 'they are my cats now'!
NAchic - A good friend from AA, hadn't actually got into the fellowship at that time, who i worked with said she would look after Trixie whilst i went to rehab. Cut long story short they have bonded totally and i have as much chance of getting Trix back as i do winning the lottery lol seriously though she is well loved there and my friend has hinted that she does not know what she would do without her, so i said why dont we have joint custody as in she stays with you and if ever you want to move country or it becomes whatever...i will take her back...yeah rite i won't hold my breath! Lot's of weird happenings with stuff working out!!!!
Cats rule!
NAchic - A good friend from AA, hadn't actually got into the fellowship at that time, who i worked with said she would look after Trixie whilst i went to rehab. Cut long story short they have bonded totally and i have as much chance of getting Trix back as i do winning the lottery lol seriously though she is well loved there and my friend has hinted that she does not know what she would do without her, so i said why dont we have joint custody as in she stays with you and if ever you want to move country or it becomes whatever...i will take her back...yeah rite i won't hold my breath! Lot's of weird happenings with stuff working out!!!!
Cats rule!
FREAKING AWESOME!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Paris KY
Posts: 255
Originally Posted by Lavash 
There are so many great stories here and all of you are so brave
Another denfining moment for me was back in 1998 when my Grandma died.
She had suffered a lot of emotional issues. My grandfather was a drunk, who didn't love her and who cheated on her. They were forced to marry at the age of 16 b/c my g'ma was preggies.
Back in the 30's, this is what you did.
In any case, my g'ma had a HARD life, so she was unhealthy and mentally sick. She never worked and there was no help back then.
She was in a home the years before she died and suffered dementia.
There were times she would know us, but mostly not. She suffered a few strokes, but the final stroke took her out.
My Mom decided not to give her a feeding tube and to let her die. I was LIVID! I loved my g'ma and was with her all the time.
It took me a week to come around to realize to let her go was the right thing.
They kept her pumped with morphine and on March 1, at 5pm, I was with her but needed to go eat.
That whole day she was breathing really bad, we knew the end was near.
I told her "Nanny, don't leave, I need to eat and will be back in 20 mins"
I came back, got into bed with her, rubbed her tummy and spoke to her. At this point she was in a deep coma for over 3 weeks.
Then about 10 mins into me laying with her, my g/ma sits up, looks at me right in the face, she has tears flowing, she takes the rosary she had in her hand, took my hand, put the rosary in my hand, squeezed my hand 3 times (this was our secret I love you, squeezing each others hands 3 times) and she laid back so peacefully and died.
I jumped up and started to call her name. My Mom was like "She's gone, she's gone"
My Mom didn't cry, I was.
My Mom said "She loved you more than anyone and said g/bye to you"
I was able to feel her energy leave the body and the room.
That moment made me not fear death at all!
Another denfining moment for me was back in 1998 when my Grandma died.
She had suffered a lot of emotional issues. My grandfather was a drunk, who didn't love her and who cheated on her. They were forced to marry at the age of 16 b/c my g'ma was preggies.
Back in the 30's, this is what you did.
In any case, my g'ma had a HARD life, so she was unhealthy and mentally sick. She never worked and there was no help back then.
She was in a home the years before she died and suffered dementia.
There were times she would know us, but mostly not. She suffered a few strokes, but the final stroke took her out.
My Mom decided not to give her a feeding tube and to let her die. I was LIVID! I loved my g'ma and was with her all the time.
It took me a week to come around to realize to let her go was the right thing.
They kept her pumped with morphine and on March 1, at 5pm, I was with her but needed to go eat.
That whole day she was breathing really bad, we knew the end was near.
I told her "Nanny, don't leave, I need to eat and will be back in 20 mins"
I came back, got into bed with her, rubbed her tummy and spoke to her. At this point she was in a deep coma for over 3 weeks.
Then about 10 mins into me laying with her, my g/ma sits up, looks at me right in the face, she has tears flowing, she takes the rosary she had in her hand, took my hand, put the rosary in my hand, squeezed my hand 3 times (this was our secret I love you, squeezing each others hands 3 times) and she laid back so peacefully and died.
I jumped up and started to call her name. My Mom was like "She's gone, she's gone"
My Mom didn't cry, I was.
My Mom said "She loved you more than anyone and said g/bye to you"
I was able to feel her energy leave the body and the room.
That moment made me not fear death at all!
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