I Need to Vent

Old 09-30-2009, 06:57 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Delaware
Posts: 38
I Need to Vent

My roommate is downstairs nodding out on pain meds. She told me she "had a good buzz going". I told her she is not supposed to. She is supposed to be taking them as prescribed. Yeah right. Give me some crack and tell me to smoke one hit four times a day and see what happens. I do understand=

The roommate is my best friend and has been diagnosed with lung cancer. I've talked about it in another thread. Nothing has changed since her diagnosis except her attitude, she hasn't started any treatments yet and according to the drs. shouldn't be experiencing any pain. But she has a prescription-happy family dr. who has her on so many pills it really makes me sick. She must be on at least 15 different meds.

I am trying to be in recovery and I've been wanting to get high but trying to hang in there and do what I need to do to save myself. Meetings, praying, journaling, talking to sponsor... all that stuff... even when I don't feel like it.

I don't want this to sound like a pity party for me, but maybe it is...I hate whiners and I don't mean to sound like one, but I need to get this out! I just got cut back to 1 day a week at work and I live in a fairly remote area with no car or driver's license and I really feel like my back is up against the wall.

I told my roommate I needed to go upstairs and she asked me why? I told her that I find her behavior disturbing. She replied "you know what you have to do". I wonder what she meant by that? She is not even in reality. She's paranoid, always peeking out the window and turning the TV down. This is really a nightmare and I'm very upset. I know I should try to get out of here, but I don't know where I would go and really I don't want to go, this is my home and I'm comfortable here. I haven't really built up a good network of recovery friends, as I've been isolating here with her, but I'm starting to work on it.

Thanks for letting me vent
Valleyd is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 07:05 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
This is a good place to vent.

It is important to vent.

Keep coming back.

Use this as motivation to get some recovery friends.
tommyk is offline  
Old 09-30-2009, 07:15 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Hi valleyd

I don't know what I can add but to say keep working on getting out of there and finding new recovery friends - it doesn't sound like the status quo is much good for either of you.

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Old 09-30-2009, 11:27 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Hi Valleyd

I gotta agree with the above... doesn't sound like a good place for you. I can relate, I'm trying to get sober living in a college dorm...

Vent all you like! It's free here. And if you come across any way to improve that situation, go for it.


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Old 10-01-2009, 03:14 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 40,106
Hi Valleyd (No one's from Delaware! I grew up there, not far from Wilmington)

I understand how you feel. I have a dear friend who abuses her pain meds too & has for years. She's had two DUI's because of it & an accident, where it was a miracle she wasn't killed. I don't think she's even in pain anymore (from rotator cuff surgery) but manages to get hold of the pills anyway. One of them is morphine - don't know all the others. She does not take well to criticism about it, becomes very defensive & then clams up so I get nowhere with her. I've tried to talk to her about my own addiction so she can feel free to open up, but so far she's not been ready.

I see that you're in a remote area, or I'd suggest Al-Anon to help you cope with the situation. I definitely need to find a way to help my friend too. I hope you find some relief for yourself soon so your own sobriety won't be in danger. Let us know how it's going.
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