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Old 09-21-2009, 08:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Feeling like a total bonehead!!


Just when you think you're getting better........

A few of you know of my struggles as of late to get on track with school, especially my algebra class. I even became so stressed that I wanted to just get plowed, have a few shots and make the feelings of inadequacy disappear, even if just for a few moments.

Well, I was going through my desk tonight and happened upon a cd that came with the algebra book I purchased for the class. I plugged it into the c-drive, downloaded it, and walla, tutorials on every chapter of the course. I vaguely recall, in my alcohol/xanax haze that the book had a cd, but being in the state of mind, (or lack of mind), that I was in at the time, about three weeks ago, I totally forgot that I had it.

Geez, have you ever just felt, sober, like a total bonehead, like part of your brain is on a constant sleep cycle? 21 days today, I hope this isn't a permanent condition, lol.
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Old 09-21-2009, 09:30 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Geez, have you ever just felt, sober, like a total bonehead...
I felt much dumber when actively drinking. Probably a good reminder of how cognitively dysfunctional you were when drinking/using, eh? I still think it would be helpful to discuss your situation with a college/uni counselor.
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Old 09-21-2009, 09:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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D'oh.

That's gotta sting, D.
but we're laughing right?

D
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Old 09-21-2009, 09:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I felt pretty dumb when I was drinking and in early sobriety. Glad to hear you found something that should be helpful. The brain seems to be working a lot better these days. 4 months for me today.
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Old 09-23-2009, 04:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by firestorm090 View Post
Just when you think you're getting better........

A few of you know of my struggles as of late to get on track with school, especially my algebra class. I even became so stressed that I wanted to just get plowed, have a few shots and make the feelings of inadequacy disappear, even if just for a few moments.

Well, I was going through my desk tonight and happened upon a cd that came with the algebra book I purchased for the class. I plugged it into the c-drive, downloaded it, and walla, tutorials on every chapter of the course. I vaguely recall, in my alcohol/xanax haze that the book had a cd, but being in the state of mind, (or lack of mind), that I was in at the time, about three weeks ago, I totally forgot that I had it.

Geez, have you ever just felt, sober, like a total bonehead, like part of your brain is on a constant sleep cycle? 21 days today, I hope this isn't a permanent condition, lol.
Dude part of my brain has been fried, ie tracer vision, memory loss - but this is from heavy drug use hallucinogen and every thing else created. No doubt from messing with all the hardwiring in my brain, but if you only drink and take xanax you'll be fine.. Write things down, get a planner, set goals - any goals. Stick to 'em, and when you don't you'll see that your not doing what you say. Which drives u to... ta da! Do them!
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Old 09-23-2009, 04:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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firestorm it took me at least a month sober before the fog started to lift, my brain was not used to working without it's alcohol. Studies have shown that alcohol messes with the brains chemistry, the more one drinks and the longer one drinks the longer it takes for the brain chemistry to return to normal.

I had a ton of Dooh moments in early sobriety, but I promise you if you stay clean and sober it will get better. I saw noticeable improvements in my mental facilities for over a year, every month I would think to myself "Man this is awesome, it can not get better." and it would get better!!!

Studies indicate that binge drinkers actually whack their brain chemistry in some cases then every day drinking drunks like me, as to the recovery time for a binge drinker I do not recall if they discussed that or not.

I would suggest reading either "Beyond the Influence" or "Under the Influence", both books discuss the vast majority of things that alcohol does to us and also recovery.
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Old 09-23-2009, 05:11 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Don't lose heart! I started back to get my M.Ed. 3 weeks ago. my brain has some cob webs in it but it is working better every day. Thankfully there are enough "extra" brain cells left to function- I just have to locate them! don't worry it will get better...........
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Old 09-23-2009, 05:36 AM   #8 (permalink)
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You gotta wonder, just what could we have done, as a collective group, with all those brain cells we fried??

We could've sent a man to Mars, had him open a resort, then we......why do I always start thinking about partying? Well, booze is no party, so I'll stick with school and with the good stuff, like being able to answer my phone without wondering if it's someone I insulted last night, or a bill collector calling because I just haven't been able to pay because I blew the cash on some little lady sitting next to me in the bar. Yes, it does get better, and some people do care and some people want us to succeed, and that's what I'm discovering. People have been watching me, wondering why is he letting his life slip irretrievably into the bottle, he's a nice guy, ya know, what's he thinking? Well, I wasn't thinking because my brain was loaded with a ton of garbage, tons of resentments weighing me down, tons of comparing myself and finding fault with others, who are just people like me, tons of wondering why I wasn't a rock star, or born to a wealthy family, why, why, why?? When I stop comparing myself with others, and just think of them as they are, fellow travelers on this road of life, I find they are really kinda nice to be around, and if I'm not in my drunken exalted state, they kinda like hanging around me too. That's what it's all about.
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