It's good to see you here Jason, and since you're checking in it's a good sign that you're still at least curious about sobriety and recovery.
I tried moderation for years, smaller quantities, NA beer, tried different brands, etc. Each time I got the same results, because alcoholism is progressive, it just continues to escalate and get worse. I'd slow down for awhile, then I'd build back up until I was drinking more than I previously had.
I just can't safely drink again. No if's, and's, or but's about it.
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!"