A Newbie Here, but Not New at Trying
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1
A Newbie Here, but Not New at Trying
Hi Friends,
I've been trying like so many others to moderate my drinking. It sure can be a sneaky son of a bitc*. I actually did fine the first two times (just this past June, only drank twice in the month)- I just had 1 beer, than 2 the next time, but then boom, there came the ole all night binge (the fear of flying at the airport started that one), and then had to have wine the next morning to feel somewhat normal. The guilt and self loathing is hell when I do this. It's totally insane that I continue to think I can drink casually- because even if I can drink just a few drinks every few weeks, as always, sooner than later, the all night binge comes (and goes into the next day if I can be sneaky about it) and it's back to crazy thinking and feeling lost and out of control. It's truly hellish.
I thought I could do it w/o AA meetings, but I need support, clearly, and that's why I am writing this now. Our social society has booze surrounding every social event, so it's just too hard to do it alone.
Back to day 1 and finding a meeting too.
Wish me luck and thanks for reading.
I've been trying like so many others to moderate my drinking. It sure can be a sneaky son of a bitc*. I actually did fine the first two times (just this past June, only drank twice in the month)- I just had 1 beer, than 2 the next time, but then boom, there came the ole all night binge (the fear of flying at the airport started that one), and then had to have wine the next morning to feel somewhat normal. The guilt and self loathing is hell when I do this. It's totally insane that I continue to think I can drink casually- because even if I can drink just a few drinks every few weeks, as always, sooner than later, the all night binge comes (and goes into the next day if I can be sneaky about it) and it's back to crazy thinking and feeling lost and out of control. It's truly hellish.
I thought I could do it w/o AA meetings, but I need support, clearly, and that's why I am writing this now. Our social society has booze surrounding every social event, so it's just too hard to do it alone.
Back to day 1 and finding a meeting too.
Wish me luck and thanks for reading.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,061
Originally Posted by BeerJunkie222 
I thought I could do it w/o AA meetings, but I need support, clearly, and that's why I am writing this now. Our social society has booze surrounding every social event, so it's just too hard to do it alone.
Back to day 1 and finding a meeting too.
Wish me luck and thanks for reading.
Back to day 1 and finding a meeting too.
Wish me luck and thanks for reading.
Best of luck to you in your recovery, and welcome to SR. It's always an honor to add another member to our family.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Welcome to SR as Astro said. Hope to hear more from you. I believe you have sung our song and its now time for a new one. Congratulations on your decision and life will get better. SR will be a help to you as well as your meetings. Good for you for taking such action. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Welcome to SR BJ, that first drink is the worst. I know I could go out right now and have 1 glass of wine no problem, but then tomorrow it would be 2 and on and on so I just don't have that first 1. Good luck to you.
WELCOME
I relate to the fear/anxiety thing being a trigger.
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