Two More Huge Illusions: Please tear them down for me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 138
Two More Huge Illusions: Please tear them down for me
1. Since I stopped drinking my work has been suffering. It's not that I used to drink at work- it's just that I have a high pressured job and i used to think of all of these great ideas in the evenings when I drank. Then I would type it all up on my laptop and I was super-productive the following day. Now I can't think- it's day 13 and I haven't had one innovative idea since I stopped drinking. Everyone is starting to wonder what is wrong with me.
2. Drinking made me a better mother. I would play with my kids and read to them (granted I made sure that there was always a nanny or other responsible adult present) but I was so much happier after a few glasses of wine. Now I hardly have the patience to leave my computer- let alone build lego towers anymore. This sounds ridiculous but sometimes I think alcohol made me a better person- sweeter, more patient, less self centered.
2. Drinking made me a better mother. I would play with my kids and read to them (granted I made sure that there was always a nanny or other responsible adult present) but I was so much happier after a few glasses of wine. Now I hardly have the patience to leave my computer- let alone build lego towers anymore. This sounds ridiculous but sometimes I think alcohol made me a better person- sweeter, more patient, less self centered.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: SC, USA
Posts: 43
My first thought: Continue the downward spiral at the same rate you were 14 days ago and see if you can make those same two statements a year or two from now.
You put the key word in your topic -- illusions. Don't believe em.
You put the key word in your topic -- illusions. Don't believe em.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
Hi there effortjoy,
I wanted to respond to your post, mostly because my experience has been the exact opposite of what you described.
When I drink (too much) I am unable to function at work the next day. I can't concentrate, my mind is in a fog, etc. While drinking, I end up wasting time on Facebook, email, etc. and I am not productive at all. I left things slide like the dishes, the laundry, the bills, etc. When I do NOT drink, I wake up refreshed, get some coffee in my system and am ready for the day.... a productive day.
About the kids... I have found that I am a MUCH better Mom when I do not drink. You mentioned reading to the kids at night. For me, I'm only motivated to do that when I'm sober. When I'm drinking, I lose track of time, the schedule get all off, the kids just go to sleep without all the little "niceities" that I would like to to do for them. In short, I'm just not there for them when I'm drinking. I'm off somewhere in La La Land. I even enjoy and appreciate my kids more, the great creatures that they are, when I'm sober.
I hope you get some other responses, but this has been my personal experience!
I wanted to respond to your post, mostly because my experience has been the exact opposite of what you described.
When I drink (too much) I am unable to function at work the next day. I can't concentrate, my mind is in a fog, etc. While drinking, I end up wasting time on Facebook, email, etc. and I am not productive at all. I left things slide like the dishes, the laundry, the bills, etc. When I do NOT drink, I wake up refreshed, get some coffee in my system and am ready for the day.... a productive day.
About the kids... I have found that I am a MUCH better Mom when I do not drink. You mentioned reading to the kids at night. For me, I'm only motivated to do that when I'm sober. When I'm drinking, I lose track of time, the schedule get all off, the kids just go to sleep without all the little "niceities" that I would like to to do for them. In short, I'm just not there for them when I'm drinking. I'm off somewhere in La La Land. I even enjoy and appreciate my kids more, the great creatures that they are, when I'm sober.
I hope you get some other responses, but this has been my personal experience!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 101
1. Alcohol doesn't make you a better worker or mother. The productivity and motherly devotion will come back.
To me, there is a huge physical and mental adjustment when giving up the hooch. Perhaps you need to cut yourself some slack, give yourself a little TLC and some kudos for what you are doing to make yourself happier and saner. I think if you give it more time, you will see that you are a much better worker and mother, without the alcohol.
Good luck!
To me, there is a huge physical and mental adjustment when giving up the hooch. Perhaps you need to cut yourself some slack, give yourself a little TLC and some kudos for what you are doing to make yourself happier and saner. I think if you give it more time, you will see that you are a much better worker and mother, without the alcohol.
Good luck!
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Give it time. Your body is working hard to remove all of those toxins. You WERE poisoning yourself and you WILL function better once you heal.
For me personally it took a good 2 months before the fog lifted.
For me personally it took a good 2 months before the fog lifted.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
I used to think that drinking and taking pain pills made me a better Mom, employee, a better person all round. I couldn't understand why everyone was on me to stop drinking and using, I mean, after all, I wasn't hurting anyone. Or so I thought.
Although my DOC was opiate pain pills, a drug is a drug is a drug. Doesn't matter if we drink it, swallow it in pill form, snort it, smoke it, shoot it into our veins . . . it's all the same. We start using recreationally, then we run to it for comfort and eventually it consumes our lives. You are already at the point of thinking you cannot function without alcohol.
As far as thinking you are a better Mother when you have a few glasses of wine or whatever in you . . . that's the hold this disease has on you. I will have, God willing, 4 years next month Clean and Sober. My Son (who is now 20) and I have had several long talks about how he felt when I had "a few" pills or drinks in me. When I was using, I had convinced myself that the reason he never had friends over was because he was ashamed of where we lived, which wasn't in the best neighborhood. I thought the reason he didn't didn't want to tell me when his baseball games were is because he didn't want any scenes created by his Father and I,who have been divorced for many years. I told myself the reason he never wanted to go anywhere with me was because he was a teenager and didn't want his friends to think he was a Mama's Boy.
Truth be told, he was ashamed of me and embarressed by my behaviors. He pointed out to me that the last time he had any friends over was for a sleepover birthday party he had when he turned 9. He begged me to not drink or take any pills, but I thought I could sneak a few drinks and he would never know. There is no such thing as a few drinks. I got so drunk that I don't remember too much of the night of the sleepover. I was so hungover the next morning that I "needed" some Xanax and Vicodin to get me through the morning with all the boys yelling and running around. After the pills kicked in, I felt good enough to make some pancakes for the boys. Super Mom. Imagine my son's horror when I passed out face first in a plate of pancakes while sitting at the table with him and all his friends.
When I was able to find out when his baseball games where, I went and cheered him on. I was yelling and screaming "Over the fence Brandon! Keep your eye on the ball Brandon . . . . . " There are a lot of things that I don't remember from when I was using and wish I did. But the one thing I wish I didn't remember will forever be frozen in my mind. The look of shame and embarressment on my son's face when he was in the dug out and I was cheering on some other kid who was up to bat, thinking it was him.
I don't know how old your kids are, but I certainly hope you continue on your Journey in Sobriety. I put my Son through so much when I was using and at the time, I didn't realize it. I also thought I was a great Mom when I had pills or alcohol in me when in reality, the pills and alcohol were what was causing all of the problems in the first place. If you aren't going to any Meetings, I hope you will give them a chance. Developing a face to face support system is vital to Recovery. Get phone numbers of other women in Recovery. You and other Mom's in Recovery can plan some kid friendly get togethers.When my son was 6, I was going to at least two AA Meetings a day and at most, I was able to bring him. Brandon and some other kids sat at their own table and colored pictures that we hung on the bulletin boards. I made some good friends with some wonderful women who had various amts of time in Recovery and he had a great time with the other kids.
You're still very early in your Recovery. Your moods are going to be all over the place, that's normal, that's expected. I'm here if you need someone to talk to, vent or have any questions that I may be able to answer.
God Bless & Take it One Day at A Time,
Judy
Although my DOC was opiate pain pills, a drug is a drug is a drug. Doesn't matter if we drink it, swallow it in pill form, snort it, smoke it, shoot it into our veins . . . it's all the same. We start using recreationally, then we run to it for comfort and eventually it consumes our lives. You are already at the point of thinking you cannot function without alcohol.
As far as thinking you are a better Mother when you have a few glasses of wine or whatever in you . . . that's the hold this disease has on you. I will have, God willing, 4 years next month Clean and Sober. My Son (who is now 20) and I have had several long talks about how he felt when I had "a few" pills or drinks in me. When I was using, I had convinced myself that the reason he never had friends over was because he was ashamed of where we lived, which wasn't in the best neighborhood. I thought the reason he didn't didn't want to tell me when his baseball games were is because he didn't want any scenes created by his Father and I,who have been divorced for many years. I told myself the reason he never wanted to go anywhere with me was because he was a teenager and didn't want his friends to think he was a Mama's Boy.
Truth be told, he was ashamed of me and embarressed by my behaviors. He pointed out to me that the last time he had any friends over was for a sleepover birthday party he had when he turned 9. He begged me to not drink or take any pills, but I thought I could sneak a few drinks and he would never know. There is no such thing as a few drinks. I got so drunk that I don't remember too much of the night of the sleepover. I was so hungover the next morning that I "needed" some Xanax and Vicodin to get me through the morning with all the boys yelling and running around. After the pills kicked in, I felt good enough to make some pancakes for the boys. Super Mom. Imagine my son's horror when I passed out face first in a plate of pancakes while sitting at the table with him and all his friends.
When I was able to find out when his baseball games where, I went and cheered him on. I was yelling and screaming "Over the fence Brandon! Keep your eye on the ball Brandon . . . . . " There are a lot of things that I don't remember from when I was using and wish I did. But the one thing I wish I didn't remember will forever be frozen in my mind. The look of shame and embarressment on my son's face when he was in the dug out and I was cheering on some other kid who was up to bat, thinking it was him.
I don't know how old your kids are, but I certainly hope you continue on your Journey in Sobriety. I put my Son through so much when I was using and at the time, I didn't realize it. I also thought I was a great Mom when I had pills or alcohol in me when in reality, the pills and alcohol were what was causing all of the problems in the first place. If you aren't going to any Meetings, I hope you will give them a chance. Developing a face to face support system is vital to Recovery. Get phone numbers of other women in Recovery. You and other Mom's in Recovery can plan some kid friendly get togethers.When my son was 6, I was going to at least two AA Meetings a day and at most, I was able to bring him. Brandon and some other kids sat at their own table and colored pictures that we hung on the bulletin boards. I made some good friends with some wonderful women who had various amts of time in Recovery and he had a great time with the other kids.
You're still very early in your Recovery. Your moods are going to be all over the place, that's normal, that's expected. I'm here if you need someone to talk to, vent or have any questions that I may be able to answer.
God Bless & Take it One Day at A Time,
Judy
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
One other thing... while I was drinking I would make all sorts of plans that I had no memory of the next day. I would agree to playdates, sleepovers, etc. (in addition to doing things like buying expensive concert tickets online, etc.) I was not an angry drunk, but I was more of a manic drunk.
I had an eye opening moment one day when my daughter was happily preparing for a Friday night sleepover with one of her friends. I asked her what she was doing and that I never said she could have a sleepover that night. She then proceeding to remind me of how I agreed to it with her Mom, a neighbor of mine ( a night when I was totally trashed.) It scared me to think that my drinking was that out of control that I could actually make plans drunk and not remember them. My drinking was no longer a private problem -- it was affecting other people.
Well, I'm so new to this that I have no words of wisdom, but will say I think both of those things you mentioned are just that... illusions.
Laura
I had an eye opening moment one day when my daughter was happily preparing for a Friday night sleepover with one of her friends. I asked her what she was doing and that I never said she could have a sleepover that night. She then proceeding to remind me of how I agreed to it with her Mom, a neighbor of mine ( a night when I was totally trashed.) It scared me to think that my drinking was that out of control that I could actually make plans drunk and not remember them. My drinking was no longer a private problem -- it was affecting other people.
Well, I'm so new to this that I have no words of wisdom, but will say I think both of those things you mentioned are just that... illusions.
Laura
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
I'm probably not one on here that should be dishing out the advice, but if you continue to assume you have no value without the alcohol... it will take a VERY VERY long time to prove yourself otherwise. Those innovative ideas are in YOUR head... not in the bottle! I'd wager it is possible that you are consumed more by the idea of ending this problem and getting through your cravings etc than focusing on the important things, like your family and your career.
Your children deserve a sober mom! Cut yourself a break though
Your children deserve a sober mom! Cut yourself a break though
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 138
why can't i do this without hitting rock bottom?
Serenityqueen- your post made so much sense, thank you for sharing it. My problem is that some of my kids are old enough to notice my drinking but they never have. Not once has even my eldest daughter even said anything in relation to my drinking. Nor have they ever indicated embarrassment or a reluctance to bring friends over. In fact our home is "the hang out" for all of their friends, and my daughters seem to look up to me. It's true that I wouldn't show up at their ballet performances drunk or pass out in front of their friends. But here is where my problem is: I want to stop drinking because I don't want things to get worse. But right now, as I look back, the benefits seem to outweight the risks. I miss drinking. And I don't know how much longer I can deal with this "brain fog" and my uncharacteristic "impatience" with everything. Pl help.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Give yourself time to come back to normal functioning. it takes a while for the brain and body to work normally, give it time. You are right tho, those are illusions and I hope you don't believe them, cause they're not true. Please give yourself time to get back to normal functioning. It will come, but it takes a while. And just for today, don't drink!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
effortjoy,
As others have said, give it time, it will get better.
You quote "the benefits outweigh the risks" and some other observations are right out of the book Under the Influence as it describes a potential or developing alcoholic. Some of the ways to spot a potential alcoholic according to this book are:
* people who feel they "perform better" using alcohol
* high tolerance
* perform well the next morning while others drinking similar amounts are hung over
You really ought to read this book, it is a huge eye opener.
As others have said, give it time, it will get better.
You quote "the benefits outweigh the risks" and some other observations are right out of the book Under the Influence as it describes a potential or developing alcoholic. Some of the ways to spot a potential alcoholic according to this book are:
* people who feel they "perform better" using alcohol
* high tolerance
* perform well the next morning while others drinking similar amounts are hung over
You really ought to read this book, it is a huge eye opener.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Benefits of drinking - Can't think of any.
Benefits of remaining sober -
1. Better Mom eventually. I know you feel you were more patient when you had a few in you, but a Mom that is sober is REALLY present. You interact better. You are there in case of emergency and your judgment isn't clouded. You don't send a message to your kids saying the only way through life is with a glass in your hand. You are a better role model.
2. You think clearer eventually.
3. You become more confident.
4. You want to help others so they can feel well.
5. You look better.
6. Your relationship with others improve.
7. You value every day moments more.
If you feel you can only be creative and can only be a good mom with a glass of alcohol in your hand then I would say you aren't ready to admit you have a problem. Alcohol is not a gift. It is not a magic potion that turns the world into this place filled with easy streets. Alcohol kills ambition and destroys lives.
I saw in your original post that you were having a problem admitting just what alcohol has really done in your life. If you don't quit now you will in the future because it is a progressive disease and it took me a few years before I could admit it had progressed to the point that I could actually see it would eventually harm my life.
Alcohol was not doing me any favors. It caused arguments in my family and would eventually kill me. Look up breast cancer amongst women drinkers. Look at the odds you put yourself in by drinking. That is a sobering fact. There are many, many more reasons to quit then to continue.
Glad you posted.
Benefits of remaining sober -
1. Better Mom eventually. I know you feel you were more patient when you had a few in you, but a Mom that is sober is REALLY present. You interact better. You are there in case of emergency and your judgment isn't clouded. You don't send a message to your kids saying the only way through life is with a glass in your hand. You are a better role model.
2. You think clearer eventually.
3. You become more confident.
4. You want to help others so they can feel well.
5. You look better.
6. Your relationship with others improve.
7. You value every day moments more.
If you feel you can only be creative and can only be a good mom with a glass of alcohol in your hand then I would say you aren't ready to admit you have a problem. Alcohol is not a gift. It is not a magic potion that turns the world into this place filled with easy streets. Alcohol kills ambition and destroys lives.
I saw in your original post that you were having a problem admitting just what alcohol has really done in your life. If you don't quit now you will in the future because it is a progressive disease and it took me a few years before I could admit it had progressed to the point that I could actually see it would eventually harm my life.
Alcohol was not doing me any favors. It caused arguments in my family and would eventually kill me. Look up breast cancer amongst women drinkers. Look at the odds you put yourself in by drinking. That is a sobering fact. There are many, many more reasons to quit then to continue.
Glad you posted.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
There's lots of good advice here.
To be honest, recovery meant accepting myself as I am and that was not easy for me. I bought into the illusions too. I was far more socialable when I was drinking, and naturally quite quiet when I am sober. I needed to accept that would never be a social butterfly and that I would always feel somewhat uncomfortable in large groups of people. That's okay, and it's far better than being drunk.
To be honest, recovery meant accepting myself as I am and that was not easy for me. I bought into the illusions too. I was far more socialable when I was drinking, and naturally quite quiet when I am sober. I needed to accept that would never be a social butterfly and that I would always feel somewhat uncomfortable in large groups of people. That's okay, and it's far better than being drunk.
Your Distant Friend
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 255
The real problem for me when I began my road to recovery,
Was very similar. If I just had one.. ----- I could handle life better, as I was used to.
Productivity, being with the kids in a better mood, are two things
Suffering right now, apparently. Transitions often do this.
Not having the alcohol to smooth the transition into a life
Without alcohol, is the hardest thing to accept out of the whole deal!
What helped me the most when I was here, was to look at the
Things that have gotten worse since I've been sober,
And imagine them at their best. The point of doing this,
Is to see, and realize, that the best times with your kids,
And the best work that shall be done, is Yet to come!!!
And, you won't want to miss it happening..
Will it happen with the same old ways, or will this be a new way?
Perhaps,, a new..*gulp* sober way???
Its up to you to make that decision.
Was very similar. If I just had one.. ----- I could handle life better, as I was used to.
Productivity, being with the kids in a better mood, are two things
Suffering right now, apparently. Transitions often do this.
Not having the alcohol to smooth the transition into a life
Without alcohol, is the hardest thing to accept out of the whole deal!
What helped me the most when I was here, was to look at the
Things that have gotten worse since I've been sober,
And imagine them at their best. The point of doing this,
Is to see, and realize, that the best times with your kids,
And the best work that shall be done, is Yet to come!!!
And, you won't want to miss it happening..
Will it happen with the same old ways, or will this be a new way?
Perhaps,, a new..*gulp* sober way???
Its up to you to make that decision.
Your Distant Friend
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 255
The real problem for me when I began my road to recovery,
Was very similar. If I just had one.. ----- I could handle life better, as I was used to.
Productivity, being with the kids in a better mood, are two things
Suffering right now, apparently. Transitions often do this.
Not having the alcohol to smooth the transition into a life
Without alcohol, is the hardest thing to accept out of the whole deal!
What helped me the most when I was here, was to look at the
Things that have gotten worse since I've been sober,
And imagine them at their best. The point of doing this,
Is to see, and realize, that the best times with your kids,
And the best work that shall be done, is Yet to come!!!
And, you won't want to miss it happening..
Will it happen with the same old ways, or will this be a new way?
Perhaps,, a new..*gulp* sober way???
Its up to you to make that decision.
Was very similar. If I just had one.. ----- I could handle life better, as I was used to.
Productivity, being with the kids in a better mood, are two things
Suffering right now, apparently. Transitions often do this.
Not having the alcohol to smooth the transition into a life
Without alcohol, is the hardest thing to accept out of the whole deal!
What helped me the most when I was here, was to look at the
Things that have gotten worse since I've been sober,
And imagine them at their best. The point of doing this,
Is to see, and realize, that the best times with your kids,
And the best work that shall be done, is Yet to come!!!
And, you won't want to miss it happening..
Will it happen with the same old ways, or will this be a new way?
Perhaps,, a new..*gulp* sober way???
Its up to you to make that decision.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
1. Since I stopped drinking my work has been suffering, i used to think of all of these great ideas in the evenings when I drank.
2. Drinking made me a better mother.........
where did you get this information?
from your mind?
when I keep turning to my mnd, the very mind that got me here, that's my crazy thinking!!
2. Drinking made me a better mother.........
where did you get this information?
from your mind?
when I keep turning to my mnd, the very mind that got me here, that's my crazy thinking!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 373
I grew up in an alcoholic home. I knew my father was constantly drunk and stoned. I never said anything to him. I never questioned it. Parents are Gods in a child's eye. I didn't blame him, I blamed myself. If I wasn't such a handful, maybe he wouldn't need to drink so much. Kids have a way of blaming themselves for everything.
A common thread I've noticed in many of your posts is a certain preoccupation with 'appearances'. I can relate because I have some of those same feelings. I have to remind myself that appearances aren't always reality. Regardless of what I manage to hide from others, I still know the truth about me when I'm alone. I want to be happy with myself. Then perhaps I won't worry so much about how others perceive me. Frankly, all the energy I put into hiding my true self has become exhausting for me.
A common thread I've noticed in many of your posts is a certain preoccupation with 'appearances'. I can relate because I have some of those same feelings. I have to remind myself that appearances aren't always reality. Regardless of what I manage to hide from others, I still know the truth about me when I'm alone. I want to be happy with myself. Then perhaps I won't worry so much about how others perceive me. Frankly, all the energy I put into hiding my true self has become exhausting for me.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Effortjoy you already know they are illusions in your heart or you never would have posted this.
As you can see by the replies here, some folks quit while they were still at a poiint where they could have illusions about thier life drinking, they have not experienced the YETS!!!! Some of us continue to drink until the illusions are gone and a cloudy reality smacks us in the face.
One does not need to continue to drink beyond the illusions into an ugly yet cloudy reality that we are not the people the illusions used to have us fool our selfs into believing we were.
We get to choose our bottoms, some of us are a bit slower in the uptake, some of us have to be slapped in the face by it....... and some of us die.
One thing I did want to add is it takes time for the fog to lift and we begin to really see that we are far better people sober.
As you can see by the replies here, some folks quit while they were still at a poiint where they could have illusions about thier life drinking, they have not experienced the YETS!!!! Some of us continue to drink until the illusions are gone and a cloudy reality smacks us in the face.
One does not need to continue to drink beyond the illusions into an ugly yet cloudy reality that we are not the people the illusions used to have us fool our selfs into believing we were.
We get to choose our bottoms, some of us are a bit slower in the uptake, some of us have to be slapped in the face by it....... and some of us die.
One thing I did want to add is it takes time for the fog to lift and we begin to really see that we are far better people sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 237
I hear you loud and clear. I own my own business and in the last year I have been really starting to slide. I used to think the same thing that you do, that all my best ideas seemed to come when I was drinking, and I WAS the life of the party alot of the time. I thought that I was a better person when I was drunk and no one really seemed to notice anything was wrong. My kids didnt notice any difference. I havnt thrown up, fallen down, driven drunk, become billigerant etc etc. So why quit?
Well I guess thats why it took me so long. But I was slowly realising that things were starting to slip and I was starting to drink more and hide it more. Forgetting appointments or promises I had made to people. My great ideas started to turn out to be last minute whims and poor decisions and I was becoming too tired to take care of all of the responsibilities and commitments I had so happily taken on when I was a more functioning alcky. Things caught up with me and they will catch up with you too.
Now that I am sober, I have began to run again and NOW my best ideas for my business come during my runs. AND I can remember them!
Also, RED FLAG:
Yikes, you dont really believe that do you? Do you think maybe that your kids are being robbed of the real you. Being drunk and supervised? Is that really a fun time with the kids?
Anyway, give it some time and dont beat yourself up. Give yourself a little love and care right now and you will come up on the otherside of this feeling great. You deserve to feel good and know that all you ever have to be is yourself. You dont need wine to make you who you are, who you are is already brilliant!
Drinking does NOT make you a better person, thats the tricky little booze demon talking.
Well I guess thats why it took me so long. But I was slowly realising that things were starting to slip and I was starting to drink more and hide it more. Forgetting appointments or promises I had made to people. My great ideas started to turn out to be last minute whims and poor decisions and I was becoming too tired to take care of all of the responsibilities and commitments I had so happily taken on when I was a more functioning alcky. Things caught up with me and they will catch up with you too.
Now that I am sober, I have began to run again and NOW my best ideas for my business come during my runs. AND I can remember them!
Also, RED FLAG:
Drinking made me a better mother. I would play with my kids and read to them (granted I made sure that there was always a nanny or other responsible adult present) but I was so much happier after a few glasses of wine.
Anyway, give it some time and dont beat yourself up. Give yourself a little love and care right now and you will come up on the otherside of this feeling great. You deserve to feel good and know that all you ever have to be is yourself. You dont need wine to make you who you are, who you are is already brilliant!
Drinking does NOT make you a better person, thats the tricky little booze demon talking.
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