Recovery is strange
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
Recovery is strange
Hi all, I know I'm on the way out of this... and it's because I really WANT to. I'm sick of the way I was living, and I knew I was hurting myself for no good reason! I would say this week has been successful, all and all. I'm sooooooo much looking forward to my first sober weekend in a long, long time. I cannot wait! I have a lot I want to do.
In the interest of full disclosure, I had a couple of glasses of wine at a friend's house last night. It was a party. I could have had lemonade, but for some strange reason, went for the wine, even though I didn't really need it or crave it that much. It was mostly out of habit and the fact that I didn't want people to think I had a drinking problem, because they are used to seeing my drink wine. How stupid is that?
The good news is that I did not get smashed. However, my body is very sensitive to alcohol and even if I drink a moderate amount of alcohol, I don't sleep well, my dreams are irritating, and I can feel it the next day. I felt silly for doing this, because I didn't need to. I wasn't very much hungover, but I did feel the effects of wine in my system. Does anyone know why I feel the effects of alcohol worse than many?
Well, the other good news is that...It did not make me think I should start drinking alcohol in moderation (which I can do socially, I tend to overdrink only when I'm alone). It made me more confident that the next time I have a social occasion to go to, I should go for the soft drink and feel good and sleep well.
Tonight was the strangest of all nights (aside from the Micheal Jackson tragedy). I did not even once start thinking about wine, not even for a brief moment. It was like I was calm and peaceful without alcohol and not conflicted about it. I am wondering if this is all part of the process....
Maybe it is all different for all of us, but I'm curious about other people.
In the interest of full disclosure, I had a couple of glasses of wine at a friend's house last night. It was a party. I could have had lemonade, but for some strange reason, went for the wine, even though I didn't really need it or crave it that much. It was mostly out of habit and the fact that I didn't want people to think I had a drinking problem, because they are used to seeing my drink wine. How stupid is that?
The good news is that I did not get smashed. However, my body is very sensitive to alcohol and even if I drink a moderate amount of alcohol, I don't sleep well, my dreams are irritating, and I can feel it the next day. I felt silly for doing this, because I didn't need to. I wasn't very much hungover, but I did feel the effects of wine in my system. Does anyone know why I feel the effects of alcohol worse than many?
Well, the other good news is that...It did not make me think I should start drinking alcohol in moderation (which I can do socially, I tend to overdrink only when I'm alone). It made me more confident that the next time I have a social occasion to go to, I should go for the soft drink and feel good and sleep well.
Tonight was the strangest of all nights (aside from the Micheal Jackson tragedy). I did not even once start thinking about wine, not even for a brief moment. It was like I was calm and peaceful without alcohol and not conflicted about it. I am wondering if this is all part of the process....
Maybe it is all different for all of us, but I'm curious about other people.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I don't know why you feel the effects of alcohol to a greater degree than most Hopeful999 but I did too - I've learned in recovery to listen to what my body tells me.
I think the wisest move would be not to drink at all.
I'm an alcoholic. I got myself into a desperate life threatening situation.
Every time I would take a glass of alcohol - whether I got drunk or not, whether I craved more after or not - I contributed to keeping myself in that situation.
I stopped drinking. I got better.
That's the way out, hopeful.
Stick with the lemonade. Enjoy your sober weekend.
D
I think the wisest move would be not to drink at all.
I'm an alcoholic. I got myself into a desperate life threatening situation.
Every time I would take a glass of alcohol - whether I got drunk or not, whether I craved more after or not - I contributed to keeping myself in that situation.
I stopped drinking. I got better.
That's the way out, hopeful.
Stick with the lemonade. Enjoy your sober weekend.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 101
Hi Hopeful!
I found that once I made the final decision to quit, I felt very peaceful. Before that, I could have a night or two of moderation, then a few binges, always followed up by guilt and self-loathing. Making the decision to change my lifestyle has literally freed me up to think and do other things!
Good luck!
I found that once I made the final decision to quit, I felt very peaceful. Before that, I could have a night or two of moderation, then a few binges, always followed up by guilt and self-loathing. Making the decision to change my lifestyle has literally freed me up to think and do other things!
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
[QUOTE=hopeful999;2276096]
Does anyone know why I feel the effects of alcohol worse than many?
/QUOTE]
That is a relative question of course and I won't get into the minutia of it all for obvious reasons. I have read from the book Beyond the Influence that race can play a part in tolerance levels. For instance, Asians have a lower tolerance to acetaldehyde, a biproduct of alcohol, which makes them more sensitive to the effects of alcohol. I could go and look that up if you want but I don't have the book handy right now. Also, there is something to be said for weight and possibly genetics.
Having said that, though, you say that you drink more when you're alone. That is a red flag. You say that you drink wine out of habit...another red flag. You are worried that people will think you're an alcoholic if you don't drink wine, that's an oxymoron but I know what you mean. However, the fact that it's an issue is yet another red flag.
You may or may not be alcoholic but it seems that you are concerned. Perhaps look at family history to learn more about your risk for being alcoholic. Also look into getting some books related to alcoholism. Those two sources might be the only real course to follow to find your answers. Good luck!
Does anyone know why I feel the effects of alcohol worse than many?
/QUOTE]
That is a relative question of course and I won't get into the minutia of it all for obvious reasons. I have read from the book Beyond the Influence that race can play a part in tolerance levels. For instance, Asians have a lower tolerance to acetaldehyde, a biproduct of alcohol, which makes them more sensitive to the effects of alcohol. I could go and look that up if you want but I don't have the book handy right now. Also, there is something to be said for weight and possibly genetics.
Having said that, though, you say that you drink more when you're alone. That is a red flag. You say that you drink wine out of habit...another red flag. You are worried that people will think you're an alcoholic if you don't drink wine, that's an oxymoron but I know what you mean. However, the fact that it's an issue is yet another red flag.
You may or may not be alcoholic but it seems that you are concerned. Perhaps look at family history to learn more about your risk for being alcoholic. Also look into getting some books related to alcoholism. Those two sources might be the only real course to follow to find your answers. Good luck!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I have no obvious family history of alcoholism
going back 4 generations that I grew up around
Nor are we Asian as Ken mentioned.
Yet my only sibling and I recovered alcoholics.
Of course when you consider genetics
as far as I know .... it's impossible
to know about recessive genes
From your posts..I too see red flags.
Perhaps you can consider you are allergic to alcohol..
stay sober because it's better for you
and move forward without worring about why?
...I think that would be a wise move.
going back 4 generations that I grew up around
Nor are we Asian as Ken mentioned.
Yet my only sibling and I recovered alcoholics.
Of course when you consider genetics
as far as I know .... it's impossible
to know about recessive genes
From your posts..I too see red flags.
Perhaps you can consider you are allergic to alcohol..
stay sober because it's better for you
and move forward without worring about why?
...I think that would be a wise move.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
"for some strange reason" you decided to drink? Hmm. That sounds a bit odd. Then you go on to really defend the fact you do not have a major problem with alcohol: no cravings, you can drink in moderation with other people. You say that you are not conflicted about drinking the other night, yet you come online to start a thread talking about it. Again, a bit odd.
I won't pretend to know your situation but for someone making an effort to sound calm and confident about your drinking issues, to me you do seem conflicted. Even if you are not an alcoholic there are plenty of good reasons to give up alcohol. I just don't imagine many "normal" drinkers sign up for addiction recovery websites, or even if they wanted to quit that they would need them. So like Carol said, some red flags are glaring in your original post. If you are really going for "full disclosure," consider what motivates you in your decision to stop drinking. I would also look at why it is so important to you that you not be an alcoholic. If you are one, the justifying/minimizing thoughts will ensure that you don't make it long in sobriety. Time to really take a close look at what is going on. "To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle" -Orwell
I won't pretend to know your situation but for someone making an effort to sound calm and confident about your drinking issues, to me you do seem conflicted. Even if you are not an alcoholic there are plenty of good reasons to give up alcohol. I just don't imagine many "normal" drinkers sign up for addiction recovery websites, or even if they wanted to quit that they would need them. So like Carol said, some red flags are glaring in your original post. If you are really going for "full disclosure," consider what motivates you in your decision to stop drinking. I would also look at why it is so important to you that you not be an alcoholic. If you are one, the justifying/minimizing thoughts will ensure that you don't make it long in sobriety. Time to really take a close look at what is going on. "To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle" -Orwell
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
Thanks for the useful posts. Hendershot, I think you misunderstood me. I completely believe I have an alcohol problem, and from what I have read here, in the early stages of the disease of alchoholism. That is why I am on here 
I think we all go through these questions and struggles a bit and I am in the process of figuring things out for myself. I went through a divorce recently. This kicked my drinking into an out of control, unsustainable level and I'll be a the first to admit that (here). But I am I going to go around telling everyone in the world that? No, I don't think so. There are some things that need to be private. Not everyone is as understanding and open minded as the people on here.
I am posting my feelings through this recovery process and am getting there, in my own way.
I think we all go through these questions and struggles a bit and I am in the process of figuring things out for myself. I went through a divorce recently. This kicked my drinking into an out of control, unsustainable level and I'll be a the first to admit that (here). But I am I going to go around telling everyone in the world that? No, I don't think so. There are some things that need to be private. Not everyone is as understanding and open minded as the people on here.
I am posting my feelings through this recovery process and am getting there, in my own way.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
And for what it's worth, your replies were very helpful!!!
I truly have a desire to stop drinking totally, and now that I see that my body responds badly to even a moderate amount of alcohol, it's very clear that I should listen to the signs AND NOT DRINK AT ALL!
Thanks. Nice weekend, everyone.
I truly have a desire to stop drinking totally, and now that I see that my body responds badly to even a moderate amount of alcohol, it's very clear that I should listen to the signs AND NOT DRINK AT ALL!
Thanks. Nice weekend, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by hopeful999 
It was mostly out of habit and the fact that I didn't want people to think I had a drinking problem, because they are used to seeing my drink wine. How stupid is that?
Here's to the upcoming sober weekend!
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