yankees24

Hello SR, how is everyone doing? Just have a few things on my mind that id like to vent about and sometimes just writing things down helps me get a better perspective on them... Anyway, now that my head is getting clearer by the day I'm starting to realize things I did not notice before, and there is one thing in particular that has been bothering me lately. Ive been paying close attention to my thoughts and addictive behaviors that try to rear their ugly heads anyway they can now that i took poison out of the mix...I've been real good with my diet because I know that eating healthy will make this process a hell of a lot easier in the long run. (i tried to eat at well as i could while using but it usually just ended up being a whiskey and pills for most meals) I am working out hardcore again and that also feels great. The one thing that I cant seem to get a tight grip on is relationships...Now that I'm analyzing my world more, I'm noticing I may be filling my endless void with the company of woman who arent neccessrily good for me. In no way shape or form am I using them In anyway, but I feel like a part of me is worried that this company is disracting me from the task at hand. I know they say to not get into any relationships in the first year but im worried that if i dont have any relationships im going to get bored and turn to something worse...I guess just realizing this is a good step but maybe not cause I have no idea how to work this out. Im just trying to be 100% honest with myself for the first time in my life and goddamn is it painful! Part of me thinks I could also be doing this as a rebound, I left the girl i was seeing for a while when i got clean because she in no way was good for my sobriety. I mean i loved the girl to death but she still came around offering me pills instead of drinks and things like that, i guess miserly loves company, i know i did. Anyway sorry for ranting, everyone have a great day and thanks for reading..

shelly009

I too always wondered why you shouldnt get into any relationships in the first year. Cant a healthy relationship be a very good source of support for an addict? Maybe its because new relationships often end or are tumultuous and confusing and as an addict we really need to focus on ourselves??

Sorry, I dont have the answers. BUT I can say good for you for knowing whats best for you. Misery DOES love company... maybe your friend could use a little SR too?

keithj

Interesting. I may be filling the void...I'm not using them.

I found it impossible to have healthy relationships until I recovered from alcoholism. Despite thinking I was already wonderful, it took some time and work and some fundamental change before my motives started to move toward being of service to others.

Through recovery, I learned what unconditional love is. And I only learned it in hindsight.

Tazman53

I have to keep my sobriety as my #1 priority in my life, I told my wife this when I got home from detox. It has stayed my #1 priority. Over the past few years I have seen way to many people in the rooms relapse because of a relationship gone south. The one year deal is not cast in stone, for some it is longer, for others shorter, but from what I have observed in the rooms is solid sobriety leads to good relationships.

As one old timer says on occasion "Two sick people does not equal one well person."

jamdls

I believe 1 of the main reasons I've been as successful as I have in sobriety is that I terminated what few friendships I had before I quit because they were drinking buddies primarily, and I have not gone into any new relationships and it's been almost 2 years. Recovery takes a lot of work as do relationships, and I believe your recovery should be your first priority. I am not the person I was 2 years ago or even a year ago, due to my working on ME and dealing with and overcoming the issues that lead me to excessive drinking in the first place.