rc29

I am interested in some feedback about sponsorship. I am on my tenth day sober and I have been going to meetings every time the doors are open. I am afraid that if I drink again something really bad is gonna happen so I have to get completely sober.
My question is, at what point should I approach someone about sponsorship ? I don't know anyone in the program well and I'm afraid that if I choose someone I end up not liking it will discourage me from working the steps, etc. etc.
Any advice is appreciated.

CarolD

In most AA meetings ....on the free literature rack
is the official AA guide for sponsorship
Look for.....
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"

It's full of info and very helpful.
Take it home and read it please.

I do think my sobriety turned into recovery
when I began Step work.

Glad to see you are moving forward.....Congratulations

rc29

I'll look. Thanks for the info.

espresso

You can also get a temporary sponsor. Many meetings have a list of temp sponsors (ask the Secretary) which keeps you safe and gives you time to look around for someone permanent. The leaflet Carol has mentioned is really very good.

barb dwyer

A very good question - I think CarolD and espresso gave you good advice.

A temporary sponsor is a good idea if you know absolutely NO one in the program.

And remember -
It's just a sponsor, you can 'fire' them whenever you want to.
They're ready for that.
Personalities don't mesh,
people move away
all kinds of things happen.

Good for you thinking 'sponsor' already.

You sound as if you mean it and that's what counts.

laurie6781

Until your next meeting, you can read the pamphlet on line here:

http://aa.org/pdf/products/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf

This should help. As said above, ask in the meeting if any one is willing to be your 'temporary sponsor' as you learn what this is all about.

I am glad you are working on your problem.

Welcome aboard!

Love and hugs,

hendershot

What everyone has said is pretty much spot on. Remember: you aren't marrying the person. In my limited experience, I think for where you are at in your recovery it is better to have a sponsor you end up not liking than to not have one.

1_day@_a_time

Lots of very good suggestions already posted.........

I suggest you start talking to numerous people before & after the meetings & get a feel for who they are, and most importantly if the really live a spiritual program of recovery, in application.

There will be some who talk a "great program" & you may find they do not have what you want, as there is really no application, only talk.

When you find a person intruiging, they are living a good life in active recovery, who also has a sponsor, you'll know. You will pick up on it quickly. Start collecting phone numbers of these people and make the calls. Speak with them several times over a period of a couple of weeks.

As you reach out and engage in different conversations with the various people, you will start to hear a variety of messages, some more appealing than others.

I also found patterns of those I liked & it turned out those I liked in many cases where sponsered by the same person. Then I sought out the sponsor & got to know him too.

This may sound a bit time consuming, but you will meet lots of people, make plenty of friends and be on your way to finding a good sponsor.

I still speak with my 1st sponsor of nearly 7 years & I still consider him my sponsor and have a great deal of respect for him. He's a great friend.

When my recovery grew to the point I wanted to find a new sponsor & take a new direction, this is how I did it & it worked very well.

It might also be worth noting, have an open conversation of what the potential sponsor expects of you, as well as what you will expect from him.

BTW, picking a "soft, easy" sponsor is not what I'm in recovery for. I'm in this process to build a whole new life, a completely new character. I want a man who will push (not necessarily in a hard mean way tho) me to grow.

I want someone who I trust, can laugh with, cry with and grow with, becoming the man I always wanted to be.

As mentioned, you can always ask someone to be a temporary sponsor, not a thing wrong with that, in fact, it's a great idea.

For me, I don't "hire or fire" a sponsor, if I ever need to move along, I'll do so. Kindly, with respect.

One last note, strongly suggest you be willing to take direction and listen to the advice given. The willingness to be willing. I can't even remember the last time I didn't take his direction, even when I really don't like it. I speak with nearly every day, at 1 PM.

Hope this helps.........and that you will post more & let us know of your journey!!!!

Thomas

Charmie

hello,,this is just my experience,,i found i was ready for sponsership pretty quickly when i went back to AA (went before 4 yrs ago and wasnt ready to throw in the towel!) so i started looking about in the meetings i was going to,which was nealry every day,but i couldnt find the right person,i wasnt looking for a friend,i was looking for as someone mentioned somebody that i thought was truly living by the programme and practising it.i prayed a lot on this which i do with almost everything in my life and one day a lady visting from 50 miles away came to a lunchtime meeting i attend,i heard her share and BANG! that was it,i thought after hearing her that i could tell her anything,she was quite clear and we made a verbal contract if you like,if we become friends after she has taken me through the programme then that will be nice but she is just my teacher if you like.she is just a messenger,so like somebody said,you will intuitivly know when you hear someone speak if they are living a truly spiritual life.pray on it,i was told when the pupil is ready the teacher will appear,and it came true for me.sounds like a temporary sponsor is what you need for now though.i hope this helps you a little.

tommyk

Find a temporary sponsor, someone who attends meetings regularly and has done the steps.

Newtosoberlivin

I am in the same boat, and I think a great start is to sign up for a temporary sponsor and also introduce yourself to many different folks at meetings and make it clear that you are seeking a sponsor. Good luck!!!