Believe808

My mom died of this disease by committing suicide when I was 15 years old. I am 54 years old and still miss her so much. When my daughter was 5 years old she asked me what I was gonna do for my mom for Mothers Day, it was a couple days before. I told her probably go to the cemetary but she suggested we buy her balloons, so on Mothers Day we went to the store and I had her pick out 3 balloons. My daughter picked out 3 balloons with Gardenia's on them, my Mother's favorite flower was the Gardenia, I had to fight back my tears. Anyway, we wrote things on them and let them go. After a few minutes I said to her, I can't see them anymore, she replied "You are so silly, mommy, she told me she already got them!" My point is, even though they are not here physically, they speak to us or somehow let us know they are still with us through people, things or just our thoughts. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but I believe that even when we are thinking about them, it is at that moment that they are talking to us reminding us "hey I'm here for you and I'm okay!" My own disease has allowed me to see that it wasn't because she was a bad person she was just really sick and she couldn't live like that anymore. Even though there are very bad and sad memories of my mom, today I choose to Only Remember the Good Ones and to be happy. So I say, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM, I LOVE YOU.

parentrecovers

happy mother's day, to you, believe, and all the sr moms! :ghug3

CarolD

I was really fortunate....because I grew up knowing
2 Great Grand Mothers...a Grand mother and my Mom.

I am so tickled when I find myself
echoing a phrase .... wearing their treasures...
cooking something they did....buying flowers they favored
Yes....they are here with me always.

Happy Mothers Day....Grandma S....Mammy...Ruby and Mom!

shaun00

god bless you for that share........trucker

jamdls

Thank you for sharing that. My mom died last year and well thanks.

Judy

jhay

This post brought tears to my eyes. I hope one day I can only remember the good things about my mother (I'm ACoA), but she's making my new found recovery very difficult as she is my biggest resentment.

Believe808

Sometimes we just have to accept people the way they are. I have learned that the difficult people and things that happen in my life are there to help me to appreciate the little things just a little more.

littlefish

Thanks for that beautiful share believe808.
My mom was a co-dependent and an alcoholic and lived with domestic violence as well. I often think of mom now that I am on this journey of recovery from alcoholism because I remember all of the good things about her, and there were so many good things.

It took my own decision to quit drinking to finally resurrect so many memories of her. I didn't think about her so much until I decided to quit drinking.

She suffered so much from co-dependency and being under the thumb of a self-centered abusive and chronically alcoholic husband....I never really thought about how much she suffered until I came to terms with my own alcoholism and realized how it makes all family relationships so toxic.

Kablume

My mother died when I was 19 from suicide. I have been blessed with a step-mother for 30 years who has treated me as one of her own.

Happy Mother's Day to the Moms on the SR board and to those that can't or won't celebrate, Peace.

readyforhelp

Thank you soooooooo much for posting this, Believe!

Astro

That made me think of my Mom, who's name was Hyacinth, and she loved the flower of the same name.

She was an awesome Mom, did a great job of raising three boys, which couldn't have been very easy

What little free time Mom had during her busy day, she usually had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I never thought that was strange, she was like a best friend to us, and it made me feel like a "grown-upper" when she started letting me take sips of her beers. Guess I hit the ground running in my alcoholism

Mom died 11 years ago from cancer and alcoholism. I never saw it coming, just drank my way through her death. I know she misses her grandkids, I hope she's proud of the father I've become in recovery. She would've understood my commitment to AA.

Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers on SR, and the same to my fiancee, who's going to be an amazing stepmom!

Aysha

Thanks for sharing that.
I know it has to be hard sometimes.

My grams has been my mom all my life.
My mom has been missing since I was 5.
But I still think about her and wonder where she could be.
But even if she did ever come around.
Noone could ever replace the unconditional love my grams has given me all my life.
My grams is truly an amazing woman.

Thank you for the post and the reminder.

Believe808

Astro, I am sure she is looking at you with love in her eyes and bursting with pride over your recovery. Thank you for sharing your mom with me.

Horselover

Just simply thank you very much for that post Believe. You are an amazing person. Your Mom did very well in bringing you into the world.

Believe808

You are very lucky to have your grams Chiy. She sounds like a special lady. Some people don't ever get that unconditional love. Our moms whether they were around or not, did the best they knew how to do.

Angelic17

Believe, what a beautiful tribute to our mothers. Thanks so much for posting this. Even though my mother is in heaven for the past 11 years, I know she is smiling down at me. My mother was the kindest, most beautiful person. She suffered with addiction to alcohol, and it caused a lot of problems for her, but when she woke up in the morning, she was a loving beautiful mom. She was sober for some years towards the end of her life, and I give her so much credit for that. She quit cigarettes and drinking after many years of being addicted. I love and miss my mom, and she raised 4 children by herself when my father left her with 3 babies, and pregnant to me. She did her best, and she always loved her children. Happy Mothers Day Mom, I miss you and Love you.

Tommyh

thanks for a great post believe
my Mom died in 1979
I still think of her and miss her some today,while recovery has helped heal some old wounds,there remains some pain yet to this day.

happy Mothers day all you Moms

Men,take your mom some flowers this weekend!

Lenina

I had a hard time with my mom. We were so different in nearly every way. She was tall, dark and thin. I was small, blonde, fair-skinned and shapely, I guess you could say.

She was always a mystery to me. Artistic, talented, stylish. Sharp tongued and angry. She thought most people were jerks or boring or both! I actually like people. We disagreed on nearly any subject from politics to literature. Our sense of humor was so different. I tend to be silly and laugh a lot. She was more sarcastic and reserved.

Over the years I learned to detach from her. But it didn't stop me from trying to understand why she was the way she was. I think she had a lot of pain from something in her youth. I wish she could have had some help and maybe been a happier person.

She passed away 13 years ago. I was at her side. I kissed her and said "Bye, mommy. Be at peace."

I spent many years confused by her, angry at her, hurt by her and finally, just sad for her. I forgive her now. I don't think she could help it.

I am so blessed her mother loved me unconditionally. Grandma passed 10 years ago. I miss her so much the ache is always there. And the gratitude.

More is revealed over time to me. I understand some things now. It helps me to be less judgmental of her and more compassionate.

Love,

Lenina

Believe808

Last night after reading everyone's posts I started thinking, Can you imagine if all our Mom's are up there in Heaven together(I believe in Heaven) looking down at us, smiling, proud of who we have become today.

serenityqueen

Believe, I can't thank you enough for sharing this with us. My Mother had been in an Asst Living Facility for a year and a half up until last Sept. For many reasons, I moved her in with me where I took care of her around the clock until in Jan. when she fell when I was out of the room and had to be hospitalized. Thank God she wasn't hurt in the fall, but she began having more problems and had to be sent to a Nursing Home for what was to be only a short period of time. This was in January. I am just coming to the acceptance that she will never be able to come back home, to live with me. Since Mom has severe, crippling Rheumatoid and Osteoarthritis, along with many other medical problems, she knew that her future held a time when she couldn't take care of herself. She had always begged me and my sister (who is deceased) to never put her in a Nursing Home. I tried to honor this as long as I could, but it's obvious with my own medical problems that I cannot give her the care that she needs. It has been a long, tough battle inside myself, having to break that promise so to speak. But the Nursing Home is where she can get the best care possible.

I was not looking forward to Mother's Day tomorrow because it's obvious that this will be the last Mother's Day that my Mom will have on this earth. But thanks to you and your Daughter, I know now that I will always be able to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, even if she isn't physically here with me. You have no idea how much I needed to read this. Thank You.

God Bless,
Judy