grace33

I made it to day six. Withdrawls are gone but now a deep down sadness has settled in. Yesterday I literally cried all day. The craving is driving me crazy. At times its all I think about,actually it pretty much all I think about. Does the craving get better? I can't believe that a little pill can have so much power over me. Its so hard right now. Its taking everything in me not to give in. my problem is when I take Lortabs Im not a neglectful mom, I feel like supermom it puts me in a good mood and I bake and cook and take the kids to the park and all that good stuff its when Im out Of pills that I dont feel like even moving. This is why I want to stop. Im only 29 and I cant be on tabs forever. I want to be the supermom I used to be naturally before my neck problems started and I first began taking pain pills. If only the craving would subside so I could breath. My kids are so young and depend on me. I have to overcome this. Last night my three year old was sitting in my lap and my eyes were all red and swollen and she looked at me and asked if I had a belly ache. I said no Im just tired. She put her little hand on my face and said "mommy you a good mom". I could not believe this little girl would think to say that when I was so sad. I know I am a good mom with bad issues. I want to be what my kids see when they look at me. I will win this battle today even though it hurts so bad. I will not think about tomorrow or next week, only today.

Mark75

You are a good mom... you must be to have such an empathetic little girl!!

Get some help!! A doctor? AA/NA? Friends, Family? It's time to reach out, no one can do this alone... Get help so you can be all that you can be for your precious children...

I am pullin' for ya!!

Mark

amirose

Hi Grace,

Welcome to SR... I don't know if it is addict nature or just human nature to want that solution NOW or at least know exactly when we will "get it".

Maybe our brains are just so trained in that immediate gratification of pills to deal with everything that when we take the pills out of the equation we still want a quick fix! I know I did/ still do this with a lot of issues in my life.

Detoxing physically is hard but coping with life mentally and filling that void in your soul with something other than pills takes some time; it does happen if you are willing, honest, and open minded. You CAN be free from the bondage of obsessing about those pills!!! That is the best feeling in the world, to me... it is SO worth it. Don't give up! You and your family deserve it.

I can totally relate to the supermom feeling with the pills, but PLEASE know that it doesn't stay that way and because addiction is progressive... it eventually does get worse, much worse. It is so great that you are here looking for help and ideas NOW. Don't talk yourself out of it.

Are you going to any meetings or counseling or anything? I am asking because I know how hard this is to do alone, and also from my experience of being able to stop on my own (detox+ months of intermittent sobriety), staying away from the pills for me is pretty close to impossible on my own willpower for any length of time!

Please PM me if you want to talk more... lots of hugs to you!

Anna

Grace,

Be patient with your recovery.

You don't need to be a SuperMom. Just be the best mom you can be, and stay sober. I hope you feel better soon.

acehood629

You will get through this, I agree that its a great idea to check out some NA or AA meetings. This is not something you can do alone. The support you will find in meetings will inspire you, it did me. It didn't happen right away. It took a while of me checking out different meetings. But just going and seeing all the people that have gone through the same things and that are now living somewhat "normal" lives, and they can be happy without drugs. That alone is inspiring.

You can do it, and you don't need to be super mom. Taking care of yourself right now is the best thing you could ever do for your kids. You are strong and we're praying for you.

One day at a time..

shaun00

My experience of detox was from alcohol.

But i do remember that after the physical symtoms subsided my mental state became quite fragile for a while.

Being very emotional...either very sad or very happy ...lots of crying and lots of anger........but that didnt last forever.

I agree strongly with others........doing this without support from people that know what your going through is tough.....can you get to a na meeting or can you phone there help line?

Its not easy...BUT it will get easier.

congratulations on your sobriety/clean time and god be with you and your loved ones.

trucker

TigerLili

Grace - good for you for deciding to get clean. It might help to have some medical support - some drugs really need to be weaned off, depending on how much you have been using.

The sadness was always there - it's just that now you can look at it and see what needs to be healed, rather than pushing it away by taking pills.

You sound like a great mom and your little girl sounds like a doll!

I'm glad you're here with us. Stay close!

least

I'm glad you're reaching out for help and company. CAn you get to an NA meeting? Face to face support from others in your situation can be a lifesaver. I'm glad you are so determined to stay clean. As was already said, addiction is progressive and will only get worse. You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't give up on yourself! You CAN do this!:ghug3

fighttowin

you can do it.... stay strong and work though the craving. You are a good mom and your little one knows it. stay close to support.

FIGHT TO WIN