Here we go again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 29
Here we go again!
I have had my fair shares of attempts at recovery. It continues to blow me away at just how hard this is. No matter how much i want it there is always a scheming part of my head that tries to figure out a way to drink again.
Im not sure why i want to drink. When i do i get into trouble and i lose the respect and trust of the people around me. However when i think about drinking all i can ever think about is how i am able to pretend my life is so much better than what it is when i am drinking.
I have been sober for two weeks this time. I found out a family friend had fallen off the wagon this morning and for some reason that i feel guilty about it gave me what i needed to get through today with out wanting to pick up. It also scared the hell out of me. She had been sober for 2 years and i am struggling at 2 weeks. Does the struggle ever end???
Im not sure why i want to drink. When i do i get into trouble and i lose the respect and trust of the people around me. However when i think about drinking all i can ever think about is how i am able to pretend my life is so much better than what it is when i am drinking.
I have been sober for two weeks this time. I found out a family friend had fallen off the wagon this morning and for some reason that i feel guilty about it gave me what i needed to get through today with out wanting to pick up. It also scared the hell out of me. She had been sober for 2 years and i am struggling at 2 weeks. Does the struggle ever end???
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Yes....it's difficult and Yes...you can quit and stay quit.
Millions of us have and do...
Alcohol distorts thinking.
This link might interest you
http://www.alcohol-drug.com/neuropsych.htm
Welcome to our recovery community
You are off to a good beginning
Millions of us have and do...
Alcohol distorts thinking.
This link might interest you
http://www.alcohol-drug.com/neuropsych.htm
Welcome to our recovery community
You are off to a good beginning
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Hi and welcome to SR! One woman at the meetings I go to likes to say that every thought she has is designed, subtly, to use or drink. We have to change our thought patterns or at least be mindful of them so we dont give in to temptation. It takes time, I know that one time I quit I went 6 months and by then alcohol rarely crossed my mind.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR. 
I have two lists.
One for what I find good about my drinking and one about what I don't like about my drinking and whenever I get the slight inkling that having a drink is a good idea I read the list and it goes away.
It couldn't hurt to start your own list.
you can start with this exerpt from your post.
When i do i get into trouble and i lose the respect and trust of the people around me. However when i think about drinking all i can ever think about is how i am able to pretend my life is so much better than what it is when i am drinking.
That along with the support of SR has made the occasions where I have an urge almost non existent.
Good luck.
I have two lists.
One for what I find good about my drinking and one about what I don't like about my drinking and whenever I get the slight inkling that having a drink is a good idea I read the list and it goes away.
It couldn't hurt to start your own list.
you can start with this exerpt from your post.
When i do i get into trouble and i lose the respect and trust of the people around me. However when i think about drinking all i can ever think about is how i am able to pretend my life is so much better than what it is when i am drinking.
That along with the support of SR has made the occasions where I have an urge almost non existent.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 29
That article that CarolD posted (thanks for that by the way) scared me. I am only 22 and i have already had two seizures as a result of alcohol withdrawal. I feel like i have such poor willpower to have had these shocks and to still want to drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 29
Yeah i really struggle with AA because i tend to only want to go when i can stand up and say "Ive been sober for x long". Does anyone understand where i am coming from here? Its not like i know these people and yet i still dont want to stand up in front of them and admit defeat.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ozstrayleeya
Posts: 2,950
That article that CarolD posted (thanks for that by the way) scared me. I am only 22 and i have already had two seizures as a result of alcohol withdrawal. I feel like i have such poor willpower to have had these shocks and to still want to drink.[/QUOTE]
__________________________________________________ _____
We are all here for the long haul,sure it's tough and then,all of a sudden
a great moment of joy runs thru your mind.Hang on to that thought and
use it when the heebies come around.lol
P.S I'm a Cronulla Sharks Fan,and boy I could sure do with a drink-not!!!!!!!!!
Kim {OZboy}
__________________________________________________ _____
We are all here for the long haul,sure it's tough and then,all of a sudden
a great moment of joy runs thru your mind.Hang on to that thought and
use it when the heebies come around.lol
P.S I'm a Cronulla Sharks Fan,and boy I could sure do with a drink-not!!!!!!!!!
Kim {OZboy}
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: in the universe
Posts: 11
hi cab
i used to feel the same way about aa
although every time i tried to quit drinking with just will power it never worked i always went back and got 10 times worse i started drinking rubbing alcohol anything i could get my hands on i never had seizures but came pretty close a couple of times i surrenderd
and went to aa it SAVED MY LIFE i have a sponser i work with the people in aa are awsome they dont judge the love and are there to help the alcoholic who still suffers
i used to feel the same way about aa
although every time i tried to quit drinking with just will power it never worked i always went back and got 10 times worse i started drinking rubbing alcohol anything i could get my hands on i never had seizures but came pretty close a couple of times i surrenderd
and went to aa it SAVED MY LIFE i have a sponser i work with the people in aa are awsome they dont judge the love and are there to help the alcoholic who still suffers
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by cab31 
She had been sober for 2 years and i am struggling at 2 weeks. Does the struggle ever end???
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
I don't know your friends story, like to think of those stories as being cautionary tales about the cunning, baffling and powerful nature of alcoholism.
The struggle never ends, but it becomes easier with time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
You are 22 and have had 2 seizures from alcohol abuse ?
Maybe as an extra safety you could use anatabuse.
Ask your doc about it.
This is not a road you wan't to walk on..
be very lucky and l mean that.
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
Friedrich Engels
Maybe as an extra safety you could use anatabuse.
Ask your doc about it.
This is not a road you wan't to walk on..
be very lucky and l mean that.
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
Friedrich Engels
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
