Something was different
I am Antone and have 33 days sober today. I got a phone call from a close friend the other night. This friend is remarkably intelligent, humorous, and entertaining to talk to - he is also a binge drinker. He sounded drunk when he called. What I found is that I didn't find the discussion so interesting this time. He was high energy in his inebriation, but I felt satisfied in just being myself instead of getting caught up in what felt like a drunken performance. This is a very old friend with whom I have been very close, we grew up together. He kept saying to me, "Am I boring you?" I was not intentionally acting bored or disinterested. My attention just wasn't grabbed by his admittedly humorous remarks and insights. On some level, after I hung up, I felt like I had been true to myself and that felt good. It was like I saw through something or into something I had been missing for many years. I've been sober for stretches before, but this time the commitment feels much deeper.