Anxiety is killing my recovery
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
I agree, Ruch, around 3 wks. is when you begin to feel those emotions you use to numb with alcohol. I'm shy and self-conscious too, one of the reasons I leaned heavily on drinking. I never learned to work through problems and situations, just stayed anesthetized to get me through difficult times. (Therefore not learning or growing.) I'm fine one-on-one, but groups caused me to clam up most of my life. It's sad, because I hardly ever let anyone get to know me. As you've seen, you're in good company here.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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I left a rehab in 1989, went to a meeting that night, got 2 feet from the door, heard voices and people inside laughing, had an anxiety attack, turned around and fled before anyone could see me.
15 years later, to the month, I went to a meeting again, but I actually went inside.
Yeah. Anxiety can be a real b*stard.
15 years later, to the month, I went to a meeting again, but I actually went inside.
Yeah. Anxiety can be a real b*stard.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Cumming, Ga
Posts: 665
Ruch, early sobriety is just tough. Most if not all those people hanging around before and after the meeting felt the same separatness that you are feeling now when they started out. How do I know this? cause I did too. Half the time during my first couple of months I felt completely ******* crazy. One minute I'm laughing, next I'm crying. Emotions all over the place. Am I coming or am I going? truth of the matter was that everyone in the group had been there before, but they didn't feel that way anymore. They emphasized that my feelings and thoughts just really didn't matter, but what I did was what mattered. Feelings aren't facts, they said. Some days it just meant I needed to put my ass in the chair and listen for an hour or maybe two, sometimes three. Over time I got involved in the group. I came early and stayed late and learned the importance of the meeting before the meeting and the meeting after the meeting, that's where networking and connection takes place. Over time I became a part of the group and not a part from the group. I was no longer separated. I belonged. The only way this happens for any of us is to dive in. It really is a leap of faith sort of thing. Hope comes from seeing those people laughing chatting it up, genuinelly having a good time. Maybe, just maybe this can happen for me too. My God, what if it works.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Philadelphia, Pa
Posts: 169
Originally Posted by chiynita 
Hope all went well for you ruch and you enjoyed the movie.
At one point I was somewhat overwhelmed by all the attention and almost got freaked out by that (lol I can't win). But that passed quicky. So a really tough day happened to end on a very good note.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by ruch
It's funny how it all happened after the day I was having. It was exactly what I needed. Something else how that happens.
At one point I was somewhat overwhelmed by all the attention and almost got freaked out by that (lol I can't win). But that passed quicky. So a really tough day happened to end on a very good note.
At one point I was somewhat overwhelmed by all the attention and almost got freaked out by that (lol I can't win). But that passed quicky. So a really tough day happened to end on a very good note.
Funny how that happens isn't it?
No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
M Jagger - The Stones
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6
Hey Ruch... I am so glad to hear about your meeting and how well it went. I hope you can muster up the courage to keep going back!
Before long you will be the one standing around talking and laughing before the meeting but never forget what it was like to be the new guy when one comes along you can be the one to welcome him.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 528
Originally Posted by ruch
Hey All, my 20th day of sobriety is becoming the toughest so far. And I think it is my social anxiety that is doing me in. My last two AA meetings have been very dissapointing for me. First I went last night and sat there like a bump on a log. I didn't speak to one person during the meeting. During the midpoint coffee break, I believe I was the only person not having a conversation with someone. This morning I attempted to go to a 9am meeting and saw a bunch of people standing outside and decided to drive away. I was afraid to go because of all the peopl out there all seeming to know each other. I ended up forcing myself to go to a meeting at a local clubhouse at 10am and again sat there in my own little world. Again around me I see and hear people laughing, talking, and just having a great time. I sat there and said nothing to nobody. The meeting ended and I couldn't wait to bolt out the door.
I find myself to be emotionally parylized when I am around new groups of people. I think i may need to see a doctor and get this figured out. I don't wanna blame anybody but I am very dissapointed in the fact that nobody approached me in either situation. I'm not saying I was made to feel unwelcomed but I did feel like an outsider. I am very discouraged right now and am not looking foward to going to another meeting.
I find myself to be emotionally parylized when I am around new groups of people. I think i may need to see a doctor and get this figured out. I don't wanna blame anybody but I am very dissapointed in the fact that nobody approached me in either situation. I'm not saying I was made to feel unwelcomed but I did feel like an outsider. I am very discouraged right now and am not looking foward to going to another meeting.
Could stand up in front of a group of people give presentations, etc.
Then in the last yr after I lost my job, got a DUI, my husband really started making me feel like sh1t. Something in me changed. I started drinking even more because it was the only way I wouldnt have a panic attack when I went out.
I have been to afraid to start meds. I feel so bad for you.I hope you find the strength to get help.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 86
I'm currently having anxiety aswell. I don't get along with any of my workmates, which was one of the reasons I drank most of the nights after work. At the moment I am taking st johns wort tablets which are for anxiety and stress and they are helping a bit, still it is tough. I want it to go away, trying to stay positive.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 99
Hi, happy you made it to 3 weeks. I am on day 30something, the anxiety drives me crazy. I am also too sensitive..like when someone doesn't smile or say hi to me, I think they dislike me and I start to feel like I am some creature another world. I could spend a whole weekend wondering why a certain person doen'st like me.
I rewind back to a time before I started drinking and I realize I was always an introvert. There is nothing wrong with that. So tomorrow, at lunchtime I will go by my lonesome and indulge in a good book. Oh well. Who ever doesn't like me without getting to know me, its their loss.(Wow I am anxious.....I must admit).:wtf2
I rewind back to a time before I started drinking and I realize I was always an introvert. There is nothing wrong with that. So tomorrow, at lunchtime I will go by my lonesome and indulge in a good book. Oh well. Who ever doesn't like me without getting to know me, its their loss.(Wow I am anxious.....I must admit).:wtf2
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