"AA is Not..."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,415
Yeah it's about honesty I think. Honestly I feel good, honestly I feel bad, honestly I feel right down the middle, whatever. In my first couple years all my shares were so happy they were downright giddy. Why shouldn't I have felt happy? AA had opened the gates of hell and let me out. (ok I know that's a bit melodramatic, but you get my gist!). But a couple things -
one is that some AA meetings have become group therapy sessions where people are encouraged to get their **** on the table. There's nothing wrong with group therapy - but that's not what AA meetings are for. We meet to be available to the still suffering alcoholic and to share our experience strength and hope. "How good things are when sober" is a big part of our ESH. So no you "shouldn't" feel that you can't share honestly about what has happened to you since getting sober and starting your recovery.
second is that I have some sympathy with what was said to you, in so far as I think that the underlying message is - AA is about working on our sobriety, not (as Stone said) cheerleading. But maybe that's something that's been said by someone whose entire recovery takes place in meeting rooms whereas most of us will acknowledge that most work takes place first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and all those points during the day when we work to overlay our old patterns with new ones.
Enjoy your sobriety. Practice gratitude each day, and you'll keep on getting more peace and serenity.
one is that some AA meetings have become group therapy sessions where people are encouraged to get their **** on the table. There's nothing wrong with group therapy - but that's not what AA meetings are for. We meet to be available to the still suffering alcoholic and to share our experience strength and hope. "How good things are when sober" is a big part of our ESH. So no you "shouldn't" feel that you can't share honestly about what has happened to you since getting sober and starting your recovery.
second is that I have some sympathy with what was said to you, in so far as I think that the underlying message is - AA is about working on our sobriety, not (as Stone said) cheerleading. But maybe that's something that's been said by someone whose entire recovery takes place in meeting rooms whereas most of us will acknowledge that most work takes place first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and all those points during the day when we work to overlay our old patterns with new ones.
Enjoy your sobriety. Practice gratitude each day, and you'll keep on getting more peace and serenity.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
i love to share how good things are going....when they are.
Then i share how i got from sleeping in store doorways....to feeling good and loving life....
Especially at a newcomers....
After paying so much to get in AA i think ill decided what im gonna share!.
Regardless of what the "living in the problem"..brigade are gonna think..
trucker.
Then i share how i got from sleeping in store doorways....to feeling good and loving life....
Especially at a newcomers....
After paying so much to get in AA i think ill decided what im gonna share!.
Regardless of what the "living in the problem"..brigade are gonna think..
trucker.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
The meetings I've been to are a variety of experience and sharing. Good and bad both. I've never heard anyone make a statement like what you heard. I've only found support and hope. Maybe the person you heard that from is really depressed. When my depression is overwhelming I often feel that life is a mess and there's no good in the world. But that's just the depression talking.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
"AA is not the place where we happily report how good things are when we are sober."
Yes, people do bring problems to meetings, they bring them up to where people who have been sober a while can share what solution they found for that problem and how they came to find a solution to a problem in thier lifes by using the program.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
This is just another example why it is highly suggested to get a sponsor to show you what AA really is and the guide you through the steps. They can also help clear up many of the misconceptions of AA you hear from others.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
I have a simple look on things, I have been blessed to be alive still.
So I dont follow AA I am a proud member of it.. And with that comes certain responsiblity ..
Go to meeting, pray, and HELP another alcoholic is what I was taught.. And low and behold it works.. So today I pray , go to meetings and have my hand out ...
So I dont follow AA I am a proud member of it.. And with that comes certain responsiblity ..
Go to meeting, pray, and HELP another alcoholic is what I was taught.. And low and behold it works.. So today I pray , go to meetings and have my hand out ...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Well, IDK... Old thread, but good topic.
We share about what it was like, what happened and what it is like now.
Yesterday I heard a beautiful young woman with almost three years share about what it was like, what happened and what it is like now. She couldn't get through it without crying at several points in her share, but mostly she cried when she described about how much better her life is now... Her parents are proud of her, her younger sister looks up to her and asks her for advice, she has a job she likes and is doing well in it and she has a terrific sponsor... I gotta tell you, there probably wasn't a dry eye in the room, and this is a big meeting, usually about 50-60 people... And a lot of them with misty eyes were guys, I know, I had a sniffle or two...
If things are going good, we have a responsibility to share that... And yes, IMNSHO that is EXACTLY what we are supposed to hear at an AA meeting.
We share about what it was like, what happened and what it is like now.
Yesterday I heard a beautiful young woman with almost three years share about what it was like, what happened and what it is like now. She couldn't get through it without crying at several points in her share, but mostly she cried when she described about how much better her life is now... Her parents are proud of her, her younger sister looks up to her and asks her for advice, she has a job she likes and is doing well in it and she has a terrific sponsor... I gotta tell you, there probably wasn't a dry eye in the room, and this is a big meeting, usually about 50-60 people... And a lot of them with misty eyes were guys, I know, I had a sniffle or two...
If things are going good, we have a responsibility to share that... And yes, IMNSHO that is EXACTLY what we are supposed to hear at an AA meeting.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Old post, though.....The real thing is that I don't know how to live life without alcohol. take the alcohol away and life gets real.
Once in a while life gets really difficult and I'll share about how I got through that (not drinking) with the help of my higher power, the steps, and my support group (fellowship of AA).
Maybe this is what was referred to, dunno. The original poster didn't bring this back to life....
Once in a while life gets really difficult and I'll share about how I got through that (not drinking) with the help of my higher power, the steps, and my support group (fellowship of AA).
Maybe this is what was referred to, dunno. The original poster didn't bring this back to life....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Central Kansas
Posts: 175
I experienced the opposite situation at a f2f meeting. The last time I had sobered up I was experiencing detox withdrawals (extreme fatigue & fuzzy thinking) plus I was working Full time everyday as well. Evening meetings here @ 8 p.m. I mAde myself go to the meeting regardless of how tired I was. When I spoke each night I mentioned how tired I was. About the 3rd meeting I was pulled aside by an old timer who suggested I not mention my tiredness that it could discourage others.
I was flabbergasted! It kind of took me back...for a moment.
But I do realize he hadn't understood why I was so tired and how hard it was for me to go to those meetings. What I really wanted to do was to go home to my bed. WhAt I am learning is that we all suffer the same disease we all are alike in that manner sharing similarities, however we all have different life circumstances, we have to make decisions based on our own, not on anyone else's. what I love about AA is being able to listen to the advice of others then choosing what works best for ourselves. For me, hearing the positive is absolutely enlightening! It gives me HOPE! I have been miserable so long in my drunken state I need to know I too can /will feel better again. I have relapsed since then but today I am 2 days sober. I am detoxing again but I know this too shall pass! I look forward to u sharing your "happy thoughts"!
I was flabbergasted! It kind of took me back...for a moment.
But I do realize he hadn't understood why I was so tired and how hard it was for me to go to those meetings. What I really wanted to do was to go home to my bed. WhAt I am learning is that we all suffer the same disease we all are alike in that manner sharing similarities, however we all have different life circumstances, we have to make decisions based on our own, not on anyone else's. what I love about AA is being able to listen to the advice of others then choosing what works best for ourselves. For me, hearing the positive is absolutely enlightening! It gives me HOPE! I have been miserable so long in my drunken state I need to know I too can /will feel better again. I have relapsed since then but today I am 2 days sober. I am detoxing again but I know this too shall pass! I look forward to u sharing your "happy thoughts"!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
^ Seems to be a theme lately
If we did that, we'd get a lot of PMs about why did you move my thread....or why are we segregating AA posts
I know others may not agree, but I generally assume folks post where they post for a reason.
If people aren't into AA topics, or if they're AA members who squirm at non AA type responses, it's pretty easy not to read threads with AA in the title....
D
If we did that, we'd get a lot of PMs about why did you move my thread....or why are we segregating AA posts
I know others may not agree, but I generally assume folks post where they post for a reason.
If people aren't into AA topics, or if they're AA members who squirm at non AA type responses, it's pretty easy not to read threads with AA in the title....
D
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Perhaps you just haven't found the right meetings yet? At the ones I attend people are welcome to share good news, bad news, funny news, etc. As long as it relates to alcoholism we don't give a darn.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Some people might be on the fence about AA, so I think some AA stuff is a good thing in newcomers and alcoholism... I know that I would not have learned some pretty cool things about AVRT if that were segregated to the secular forum. We just have to not fight about it is all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2
Good things
Yes most of the meetings are about our problems that we are dealing with but from time to time I like to open a table with "what good things sobriety has brought us". This topic is a nice change of pace. We never want to forget where we came from but we also need to give newcomers hope of things to come. The hope that they will find happiness again.
We will be amazed before we are halfway through
We will be amazed before we are halfway through
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
This thread really is weird.
"AA is not the place where we happily report how good things are when we are sober."
95 percent of the shares I heard over many many years in dozens of meetings were exactly that. I was always told that you if you do not talk about anything else you are living in the problem, not the solution.
I needed to hear more about how to make things work and the real difficulties people have in getting sober.
"AA is not the place where we happily report how good things are when we are sober."
95 percent of the shares I heard over many many years in dozens of meetings were exactly that. I was always told that you if you do not talk about anything else you are living in the problem, not the solution.
I needed to hear more about how to make things work and the real difficulties people have in getting sober.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by Mark75 
Some people might be on the fence about AA, so I think some AA stuff is a good thing in newcomers and alcoholism... I know that I would not have learned some pretty cool things about AVRT if that were segregated to the secular forum. We just have to not fight about it is all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: London
Posts: 109
I'm 2 weeks sober today. I found AA quite helpful. Just trying different meetings. The main thing I've got out of it, is that there's no shame in being an alcoholic, everyone's story is different. My brain keeps telling me I'm not an alcoholic and there's been a mistake and I'm just a heavy drinker, these meetings remind me that I am. I need to accept it and it's the only way my life will improve. I can't kid myself forever if I want to live!
And all feelings good/bad are valid. I've also got a support network of people now, that I didn't have before. People who I didn't know before but are happy for me to call them to ask any weird/silly question I might have. At first I found it a bit weird, I wondered why everyone was so welcoming and friendly (I'm a Londoner - we find it hard to trust!) but these people are recovering and they want to help others along the same path.
So that's a long way of saying, I find the meetings helpful.
And all feelings good/bad are valid. I've also got a support network of people now, that I didn't have before. People who I didn't know before but are happy for me to call them to ask any weird/silly question I might have. At first I found it a bit weird, I wondered why everyone was so welcoming and friendly (I'm a Londoner - we find it hard to trust!) but these people are recovering and they want to help others along the same path.
So that's a long way of saying, I find the meetings helpful.
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