Nearly 100 days then lost it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cambridgeshire UK
Posts: 59
Nearly 100 days then lost it!
Hi everyone
I cant belive I through all that hard work away, nearly 100 days then something in my life happend and I turned to the bottle, I feel so stupid Ive let my self down.
My girlfriend of 4 years left me on valentines day and walked out of our home, now here on my own with the memories of her and us and our life bashing me from every room, Sorry i no you dont all need to no the ins and outs but that triggered me off and without even a though I went and bought my first of many bottles of vodka.
And that was it for a week and a half-BINGE, day and night.
The drink even made feel ok to want to commit suicide.
The disease had returned- Now on day 3 of my own detox- water water and more water, going through the same withdrawl I told myself I was never going to do again, I lost to it, it won.
Please keep me sober everyone, I'll keep coming back.
Fletch x
I cant belive I through all that hard work away, nearly 100 days then something in my life happend and I turned to the bottle, I feel so stupid Ive let my self down.
My girlfriend of 4 years left me on valentines day and walked out of our home, now here on my own with the memories of her and us and our life bashing me from every room, Sorry i no you dont all need to no the ins and outs but that triggered me off and without even a though I went and bought my first of many bottles of vodka.
And that was it for a week and a half-BINGE, day and night.
The drink even made feel ok to want to commit suicide.
The disease had returned- Now on day 3 of my own detox- water water and more water, going through the same withdrawl I told myself I was never going to do again, I lost to it, it won.
Please keep me sober everyone, I'll keep coming back.
Fletch x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
fletch........thanks for posting.
take it easy mate......water sounds like a good idea..
Youve been here before.... you can do it again.....
Keep posting......pm me if you wish...anytime..............trucker...
take it easy mate......water sounds like a good idea..
Youve been here before.... you can do it again.....
Keep posting......pm me if you wish...anytime..............trucker...
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Fletch - You didn't lose because you came back fighting. You MUST do whatever you can to live with the ups and downs of life. It is VERY hard in the beginning of our sobriety to change the patterns we have had for so long, but its not IMPOSSIBLE! Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and plan a recovery action today. If SR was what you were using and it didn't do the job then you must know you have to take it further. You can do it and you must. Keep reaching out and never, never give up!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 162
Fletch - don't think of it as losing your 100 days - as you will of done a lot of learning in that time, and that isn't lost!
Ok - you were triggered into a relapse, but that just means that you are still learnng. And I really admire the fact that you have come back here so quickly. That just goes to show that you alrady have this disease on the run, and will succeed. Now is probably a low point, and a time of change....but it's just not the end!
DB
Ok - you were triggered into a relapse, but that just means that you are still learnng. And I really admire the fact that you have come back here so quickly. That just goes to show that you alrady have this disease on the run, and will succeed. Now is probably a low point, and a time of change....but it's just not the end!
DB
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 367
Breaking up with a girlfriend is a real drag.
Fletch, they say when one door closes another one opens.
Problem is, if you are drunk, you won't see the other door till it closes too.
You can do it again man, Just For Today
Fletch, they say when one door closes another one opens.
Problem is, if you are drunk, you won't see the other door till it closes too.
You can do it again man, Just For Today
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 528
Originally Posted by Fletch2468 
Hi everyone
I cant belive I through all that hard work away, nearly 100 days then something in my life happend and I turned to the bottle, I feel so stupid Ive let my self down.
My girlfriend of 4 years left me on valentines day and walked out of our home, now here on my own with the memories of her and us and our life bashing me from every room, Sorry i no you dont all need to no the ins and outs but that triggered me off and without even a though I went and bought my first of many bottles of vodka.
And that was it for a week and a half-BINGE, day and night.
The drink even made feel ok to want to commit suicide.
The disease had returned- Now on day 3 of my own detox- water water and more water, going through the same withdrawl I told myself I was never going to do again, I lost to it, it won.
Please keep me sober everyone, I'll keep coming back.
Fletch x
I cant belive I through all that hard work away, nearly 100 days then something in my life happend and I turned to the bottle, I feel so stupid Ive let my self down.
My girlfriend of 4 years left me on valentines day and walked out of our home, now here on my own with the memories of her and us and our life bashing me from every room, Sorry i no you dont all need to no the ins and outs but that triggered me off and without even a though I went and bought my first of many bottles of vodka.
And that was it for a week and a half-BINGE, day and night.
The drink even made feel ok to want to commit suicide.
The disease had returned- Now on day 3 of my own detox- water water and more water, going through the same withdrawl I told myself I was never going to do again, I lost to it, it won.
Please keep me sober everyone, I'll keep coming back.
Fletch x
Please do not think that you "threw away" 100 day of sobriety!
That is something to be very proud of. And you have to know that!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Hi Fletch
Sorry for your pain! Reckon you will come back to sobriety this time with a renewed sense of purpose and be here in a year looking back on this as the start of your journey to a happy and sober life!
keep posting and coming back mate:-)
Sorry for your pain! Reckon you will come back to sobriety this time with a renewed sense of purpose and be here in a year looking back on this as the start of your journey to a happy and sober life!
keep posting and coming back mate:-)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Cunning Baffling & Powerful....right?
Good times, bad times, inbetween times,
Alcoholism is waiting for when u least
expect it to hit.
The more meetings i made the more
"money" I put in the bank. Meaning,
each time i made a meeting, the more
i absorbed from listening and learning
about my disease the more likely i wouldnt
drink that day.
It doesnt matter how much time one
has in recovery but rather the quality
that makes a difference.
I heard people with yrs sobriety go
back out. Why u ask if u have all
those yrs. Why did u throw it all
away.....
The answer time and time again u
will hear is.....I either stopped going
to meetings, or stopped working
their program.
It's easy to talk the talk of recovery,
but working it assures positive results.
Glad u made it back As some may
never make it back or return.
For me to drink is to die. At my stage
of recovery, if i were to drink, there
will never be enough alcohol to satisfy
my craving for it.
One drink will never be enough. So
Id rather share my own experiences
strenghts and hopes with the next
alcoholic of what it was like when
I drank, what happened to me and
where I am now instead of drinking
myself to death.
I am also openminded, willing, and honest
in all my affairs.
Thanks for letting me share.
Good times, bad times, inbetween times,
Alcoholism is waiting for when u least
expect it to hit.
The more meetings i made the more
"money" I put in the bank. Meaning,
each time i made a meeting, the more
i absorbed from listening and learning
about my disease the more likely i wouldnt
drink that day.
It doesnt matter how much time one
has in recovery but rather the quality
that makes a difference.
I heard people with yrs sobriety go
back out. Why u ask if u have all
those yrs. Why did u throw it all
away.....
The answer time and time again u
will hear is.....I either stopped going
to meetings, or stopped working
their program.
It's easy to talk the talk of recovery,
but working it assures positive results.
Glad u made it back As some may
never make it back or return.
For me to drink is to die. At my stage
of recovery, if i were to drink, there
will never be enough alcohol to satisfy
my craving for it.
One drink will never be enough. So
Id rather share my own experiences
strenghts and hopes with the next
alcoholic of what it was like when
I drank, what happened to me and
where I am now instead of drinking
myself to death.
I am also openminded, willing, and honest
in all my affairs.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by Fletch2468
Hi everyone
I cant belive I through all that hard work away, nearly 100 days then something in my life happend and I turned to the bottle, I feel so stupid Ive let my self down.
My girlfriend of 4 years left me on valentines day and walked out of our home, now here on my own with the memories of her and us and our life bashing me from every room, Sorry i no you dont all need to no the ins and outs but that triggered me off and without even a though I went and bought my first of many bottles of vodka.
And that was it for a week and a half-BINGE, day and night.
The drink even made feel ok to want to commit suicide.
The disease had returned- Now on day 3 of my own detox- water water and more water, going through the same withdrawl I told myself I was never going to do again, I lost to it, it won.
Please keep me sober everyone, I'll keep coming back.
Fletch x
I cant belive I through all that hard work away, nearly 100 days then something in my life happend and I turned to the bottle, I feel so stupid Ive let my self down.
My girlfriend of 4 years left me on valentines day and walked out of our home, now here on my own with the memories of her and us and our life bashing me from every room, Sorry i no you dont all need to no the ins and outs but that triggered me off and without even a though I went and bought my first of many bottles of vodka.
And that was it for a week and a half-BINGE, day and night.
The drink even made feel ok to want to commit suicide.
The disease had returned- Now on day 3 of my own detox- water water and more water, going through the same withdrawl I told myself I was never going to do again, I lost to it, it won.
Please keep me sober everyone, I'll keep coming back.
Fletch x
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Sorrry for the loss of your girlfriend. A lost relationship is one of the worst things that can happen to anybody.
It sounds like you are finished feeling sorry for yourself and want to get on with your recovery.
The 100 days is not lost as everyone else has said. Your body has repaired itself in that time and you now know you can do this.
Keep on keeping on.
It sounds like you are finished feeling sorry for yourself and want to get on with your recovery.
The 100 days is not lost as everyone else has said. Your body has repaired itself in that time and you now know you can do this.
Keep on keeping on.
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