manonlescault

So I have been down this road before. I am an alcoholic and yet I keep saying to myself...it has been a month and I haven't had a drink...I only had a couple last week, I can do that this week...I don't drink when I wake up...I don't sneak around...

I want to find others who are like me. When I go to AA meetings and the like, I hear all the stories about losing jobs, families, drinking excessively everyday...but I hardly ever hear about people like me. People who drink on occasion but when they do, can black out, drive cars, go home with dangerous strangers. People who can go a month without drinking. People who can sometimes just have one or two, but always end up drinking too much at another time. I feel like in the outside world people don't consider that an alcoholic, but I know I am. But it just makes it easier to pretend I am not. So I go in cycles...quit drinking and admit my problem...then few months later or more, think, I can just have a couple...and the first time maybe I do...but sooner or later it becomes a problem again.

Are there groups that cater to my type? People I can find to talk to, who have been there, can help me stay on track?

Thanks!

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us, and I know there are many people here, like you, who don't drink every day, but when they do, they cannot stop.

Take a look around and keep posting.

matt88

That's where I tend to fall in the spectrum as well. When I went to meetings, I remember a guy who was there because he drunk only 1 beer at work in the evenings, and he thought that was a problem for him. I never found out the rest of his situation, so maybe he was more hardcore in the past, and was trying to snip the last little bit, I don't know. Moral is that the amount consumed sometimes doesn't matter, if it bugs you it bugs you.

grateful2b

Manonlescault, Welcome to SR!
I am glad you found us
and I hope you stick around..
there are stickies at the top of the page.....and I'm sure people will be along shortly

seemethrough

Hello, I kind of fall into that category as well...just a little more extreme. I can go quite some time without drinking, however, once I do it ends becoming a binge for me that can and will last months. Once I have had enough, which usually happens with me acting like a fool and doing something stupid, than I stop again for some time. I am not an everyday drinker unless I am on a binge, but I am an alcoholic and that is the problem.

desertdonna

Hi manon,

Oh, yes, there are lots of people here that fall into the category of binge drinking. It's just a particular pattern that has developed for some. And although there are many stories with tremendous loss and devastation, that's not the case for many of us, including me. We just knew that we had a defining moment when we had to get off the roller coaster.

So welcome! You've come to a great place for support. Stick around and read through some of the posts and stickies at the top of the forum.

I'm sure others will be along in a minute or so.

Many hugs to you.

Donna

Fubarcdn

That pretty much describes my pattern to a T. Although I have rarely gone more than a week I am definitely someone that binges. I rarely drank 2 days in a row and often only once a week but when I did drink I drank a lot. Everyone here is here to share and help.Welcome.

Katie09

Well, there are definitely degrees around this. I never took a drink in the a.m. until I was 36. I still remember that morning getting up at 8 a.m. and drinking a beer. Prior to that my ex used to get up and ask me if I wanted a drink in the a.m. or even during the day and I thought...why would I want to do that? It will just ruin my day.

So I think over the years things escalate and can progress. If you think you are an alcoholic, why wait until then? If you don't like AA, that's ok. There is SMART Recovery or other secular groups out there. The thing to do is to find something that will work for you. Maybe just being online for now will work well? I am surprised so many in this thread never went as far as I have, but that's a very good thing.

gonzo9730

I to fall in this category now. I used to drink everynight, and get drunk to varying degrees; I was like this for ten years. Over the past seven months I have changed my relationship with booze and fall into a more binge like category. I had gone stretches of 34 & 39 days without a drop, and then decided to tempt fate. Didn't quite work the way I wanted it to. But my last few binges have decreased in length. Limited to three or so days. By that time my body starts to feel it again, and now I have seemed to reprogrammed my brain to tell me to stop when this happens.

I am now on day 12 again. Which I don't mind, because in the past stringing together two days was enough of a task. Will I ever drink again? Probably... we all fall into temptations sometimes. But we can't be too hard on ourselves when or if it happens. Because it is that type of emotion that will keep us from getting back up, dusting ourselves off and living to be sober again.

Serenidad

You sound exactly like I did 9 months ago! I could go weeks or months without drinking and then binge and drive home in a black out or do things I regretted. What I have learned, is most people are binge drinkers at first. Basically, there will be a day when you drink so much that you "flip a switch" and turn your alcoholism on to the "daily drinking level". I learned this in treatment. On April 22, 2008 (exactly 9 months from today) I got a DUI. They took me to jail. I hit bottom. I did 4 months of outpatient treatment, AA daily (and still do AA), counseling and the 12-steps. My life is soooo much better nowl. You are probably a lot sicker than you think. I was!!!
Your disease is and will continue to lie to you and tell you that you are not that bad so you will keep drinking. Be careful! Good luck!!!

gonzo9730

Manon* I am definetely with you. I'm an alchy and know it. But have never gotten myself into too much trouble over it. I've never driven absolutely sloshed or gotten DUI's. I've never hit a bottom so unimaginable that shook me into sobriety. Never physically harmed or started fights while drunk. I am just a complete lush, and when I drink, I drink to feel it rather than for the taste.

I feel like an outsider as well. But now that I have gotten myself to a greater level of sobriety. I am starting to identify those such people that can turn the switch off. But when they turn it on, it is a booze fest. I'll stand proud to have accomplished getting myself into this category, rather than chronic day after day consumption.

Moderation / Balance is a tough nut to crack for any habit one becomes enthralled with.

stone

I am a binge drinker too, it is still alcoholism, I go to AA and yes, most of the people there were daily drinkers but lots were binge drinkers too. Binge drinking is the most dangerous form of alcoholism actually as we don't develop the same sort of tolerance daily drinkers do. When you hear of youngish people just dropping dead through drinking it is usually because of organ failure on a binge.

manonlescault

Thank you all so much for all of your replies. I, too, recently got pulled over and will be getting a IID this weekend so I can still drive and yet I kept drinking, just not when driving, but last Friday I drank so much that I spent $90 in one night, apparently made out with three different men I didn't know at a bar, in front of the guy I just started dating and almost got into my car and drove....this was my bottom, at least this time. I can't deny it anymore...

jazzz

I know exactly how you feel. Binge drinker too, been one for several years. I've tried to quit a few times but I always get those thoughts: I wasn't that bad, I can moderate, I'll only drink 1 day and then stop etcetc...Thing is, I don't want to moderate, I want to get hammered!! And when I get into the alcohol "zone" (state of mind), I'm always looking forward to the next excuse to get hammered. And there are many excuses!
I started drinking again in November after a dry period of nearly 3 months. Started very slowly, but at Christmas time I drank everyday and was miserable. My body and brain just can't take it anymore and I really need to stop. It's hard though. All my friends drink, my family drinks, my girlfriend drinks. Everybody's drinking and everybody knows me as a drinker! Some people know that I "might have a slight problem" but it's tabu around here so I never get orders to stop drinking. Sometimes I wish I would get those "orders", coz now my only motivation to stop is myself and the knowledge that I'm probably an alcoholic. Both my parents are and I'm pretty sure some of my friends are.
I wish I never touched the stuff in the first place. I never thought it would grab such a hold of me and create such difficulties for me. Well, it has and now I have to take responsibility.

Good luck to you manonlescault:ghug3

stone

Manon! You are using my old avatar, I used that for ages, it freaked me out seeing it, lol.

bstt03

What you described fits me to a tee. I too was a binge drinker. Although I did not drinkk everyday, when I did, I did it to extreme, blackouts included. I am so glad now to be sober when I look back at those times.

Mark75

Hi Manon...

The only requirement for membership to AA is a desire to quit drinking. That's it. Your drinking seems to be troubling you and causing problems in your life. You have the desire to quit drinking. You can.

If you are still considering AA but can't get your head around saying "I am an alcoholic", that's OK. Go back and listen for what resonates with you, not how you are different.

Keep posting! Welcome to SR.

weekendbinger

Hello friend! We share the exact same problem. I'm so glad you are here. I am a social drinker. Only drink during the week if I have a social occassion. The weekends come and we always have plans with friends.....friends that drink. Most of my friends eventually switch to water or slow down at some point during the evening (responsible drinkers).....I, however, do not. As long as we are out....I'm drinking. And I think I'm soooooooo much fun and everyone would be bored if I wasn't entertaining them. So, why stop drinking?

My binging results in friends having to force me in a car to take me home, not remembering my entertaining conversations, falling down on the floor at parties, my husband being furious for drinking too much, hangovers, embarrassment, regrets, shame. God has given me 3 major wake up calls. I know if I mess up again, it will ruin my life. So, no more alcohol for me. We can share our journey together. I'm on day 23! We can help each other stay on track! You can do this!!!!:ghug

Strangef8

You obviously are not alone. I am another who falls into that category. I just came off one of those binges and will be fine for a while. I am trying to stay active here and be positive so that when that urge comes upon me again, I can come here and get the support and help I will need at that time.

prettypoison

Count me in as a binge drinker too. The only difference between me and other binge drinkers is I wasn't smart enough to get help when I first suspected I had a problem. I justified my behavior and compared myself to others and kept on drinking. The problem is alcoholism is progressive. You can go on as a functional alcoholic for a long time before functioning becomes compromised. I've always throughout my drinking history been a binge drinker.

But, I got myself into some hot water (drinking was a factor) and after that I started drinking to self-medicate BIG time. From there it was a downward spiral. At my worst I never drank in the morning. But I was physically, mentally and spiritually in big trouble. Consequences were showing up everywhere they never had before. By then, I was no longer in control -- alcohol was my master. I wish I had seen the red flags, and heeded warnings but I didn't. I ran myself into the ground and decided one day "I'm going to die like this if I don't stop". And one more binge was not worth it, so I came here needing to know if there was help. There is. Glad you're here.