angie9

I wish I could wake up one morning and not be a alcoholic!! I wish I had the balls to beat this and not look back. I have gone into my shell so much I panic if Im around people that makes me want to drink hide in my fog!! I did the classic differnt town same Sh*t!!! I just hate me Im wanting to go now NOW to rehab!! but theres only 8 beds for woman :0( Im scared of the future as I cant see one Im confused my thoughts change all the time and Im lonely as I havent made friends here ( too embarrssed too!) .
Ang

prettypoison

Ang

I've been wondering about you. It's ok to be confused/scared all of it--please know it will get better. I was in a similar situation to yours a long time ago and had to rebuild life, the waiting is so hard. Please keep coming back and hang on, we're here for you!

desertdonna

Hang in there, Angie. As long as we're drinking we can never make sense of ourselves and our situation. For now just go easy on yourself until you get into rehab. Please lighten up on the alcohol until that happens; we want you to make it there.

There's no wishing about it, babe. It's the same road we all have to travel, one little step at a time.

Post here as much as you need.

Thinking of you, and a big hug. :ghug2

Donna

mxchaos

/a bed will open up soon and you'll be on your way to sober life.Look ahead. Have you seen a doc about your anxiety?

Dee74

You have many friends here Ang - I know you're dealing with a lot but please don't get discouraged. As others have said, it is possible to get out of the hole you're in

hugs
D

seekinrecovery

Hope a bed opens up for you soon. I met many friends in rehab and they became a very supportive part of my life to aid in my recovery when I went home. Any other treatment options for you in the meantime? Nightly outpatient programs? What about AA meetings/friends?

least

Hang on Angie, and remember: there's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make it worse. Drinking won't fix anything. Stay sober just for today. A day at a time and you can stay sober too.

Glad you're here!:ghug3


ps, I love your avatar!

angie9

thanks all huggs Im sober today thats one up for me. Going to try and keep busy today Ill pop in and out on here feeling quite lonely at the moment

angie9

theres a lot I have to sort out if I want a chance of sobriaty. Im not happy in my marriage but need to get better before I deal with that hurdle and then its scary as its all I know straight from my parents to marriage never being on my own and that terrifies me if I can do it

Isaiah

You're capable of miraculous things.

My sobriety still runs more on hope than on confidence. I'm only trading desperation for courage in small pieces. But I am finally starting to come around to the idea that people whose sobriety I might envy had it no easier, often a lot worse, than I have.

Rehab is a great start. Give patience your everything; patience is more important than balls. Help can be achingly slow but you're doing the first, best thing to getting that horrible weight off your shoulders.

desertdonna

Just try to keep it in the day, not what will happen later. That's when we really get overwhelmed. I know I do.

Hang tight, and keep posting, or do something to occupy your mind for a bit.

Big breaths. Ahhh.

Toomutch

Feeling lonely is very uncomfortable to say the least. Drinking will only add to this dreadfull feeling. Stay sober for today - it's a great idea to stay close to SR today. I am praying that a bed will open up soon. :ghug3

Fubarcdn

Hang in Angie. Most of us are probably kinda lonely and scared, I know I am. Coming here gives me strength as does giving others encouragement. Try responding to others posts with kind words and even if it doesn't make things better for you I am sure it will for them.

When I first posted I waited anxiouslly to see if anyone would say anything and I was SO happy that people did. This really is a community unlike other forums I am at. Those are poker forums so I guess it is a little different.

angie9

thanks its the overwhelming feeling of panic and being like what i am that scares me angers me and confuses me. Why Im a dam alkie why? why i didnt pick up on it long ago . ? Off to hang some washing out at elast its a nice day here ( tho thats wearing thin would love heavy rain I find that soothing

Dee74

Donnas right Ang - run your race one day at a time
If you start thinking of everything you'll overwhelm yourself...

Noone does everything at once. Just focus on not drinking and getting into rehab for now

D

angie9

my challange for today is to sort my house out. Im finding it hard to oraganise and focous on on thing , Selfish thing this disease isnt it I see poor poor me in my posts I write sorry guys

Astro

One thing I've heard so many people share in recovery......if I can stay sober, so can you. I know you can beat this Ang.

Good to hear from you, we've missed you

angie9

thanks astro missed everyone here too the only place I cant ******** and a place I can talk as I know everyone here has felt it

Ananda

We are right here with you angie

Glad to see you posting:ghug

angie9

thanks