sarahj5678

I've given up for 3 days and but I always do and then as soon as I go out I get WASTED!!! I've been in the house constantly so not drinking has been a bit easier but I've got to go out tonight with my friends and I can't do it unless I've had a drink!! (social Phobia) Any ideas on how to resist and get though the panic without having a drink??? I just feel I'm going to give in!

Sn0man

I don't know. I'm new here too, and having the same troubles you are. I can stay away from alcohol mostly when I stay home, but if I go out i'm up a creek - guaranteed to get smashed.

All I can think of is avoiding all calls and getting a new and exhausting hobby during the day that leaves you no energy to do anything during drinking hours.

But I don't know, I'm as lost as lost can be.

CaseyMarie

*waving* another new one here...

Unlike the two of you, I stay home and drink. I do not/cannot leave to go out, which is a blessing at times....

Sn0man

I do that too. I drink at home, alone. Not a lot though. But I have another site that I post on regularly...it's different from this one in several respects (mostly that it has nothing to do with alcoholism or recovery), but i'll sit at my computer for hours drinking alone and posting away.

Most of the time, I don't see it as a problem - until I read what I wrote. Then I just curl up in a ball and thank the heavens it's anonymous posting lol.....

dedubya

:ghug2hey sarah-
i am completely with you, it is very hard especially the first few days. there is a book called under the influence' several people on here have referenced so i bought it- there is a thread on this website somewhere with excerpts. it explains why our brains drive us to (alcoholics) drink excessively- its biological in a sense. long story short- do something else for a couple of weeks at least- movie, anything that takes time, then if youre like me the craving will drastically reduce (but will still linger). my advice-dont waste your 3 days! get through this critical period- you can absolutely do it.
best wishes-
dub

Sn0man

I'm sorry if i'm hijacking a thread here - and I totally don't mean to, but what if you can go several days without alcohol and no withdrawl effects? How is dealing with what id have to call a 'pshycological addiction' different from a 'physical addiction'? Is it different??

dedubya

first i am no expert- but i am definitely an experienced substance abuser- who has been through many ups and downs. I think addiction is addiction- and a lot has been made of separating the psyc vs physical part. if you drink when even though you know its causing negative effects in your life - its addiction, your brain is telling you to do something to yourself that is harming you. and believe me my brain does that, but you have to fight the heck out of it- because there is no logic in trashing yourself when there are so many good things in the world other than that. good luck to all of you- i am riding the same boat! and we can do it!!!!!!

Rouxballs

dont give up!

mxchaos

Have you spoken to a doc about the social phobia? There are many other ways to deal with it with out drinking. DBT therapy and meds can help.

Pelican

Newbies!

Welcome to the SR family! We are glad you are here and reaching out. We are from different walks of life with one common factor: addiction.

Good to see you Dub! Here is the link Dub mentioned about excerpts from the book "Under the Influence"

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I read that book cover to cover and highly recommend it. I am now reading the more recent edition "Beyond the Influence". Addiction/disease/physical or psychological? :horse What works for everyone is behavior modification. We had to learn to do something other than pick up.

I found it helpful to adjust my routines during my trigger time each day for the first week (happy hour). I would go to the library, book store, walking, etc...anywhere alcohol was not served including my kitchen.

You'll find lots of help and support here. Read and post as much as you need.

Aysha

HI sarah and welcome.
I agree with pelican. Perception can be everything sometimes too.
Instead of thinking you are going to give in. Tell yoursefl you are NOT going to give in.
I know..Sounds corny and easier said than done.
But I believe when you change your thinking process. Actions will follow..
Lots of support and info here. Glad you are here.

Theresa

Hi Sarah:

Is it possible to go out with these friends to a restaurant that does not serve alcohol? If not, it might be because these are "drinking buddies." I have found it more difficult to change my behavior around drinking buddies (which included my family) than my behavior on my own (drinking alone is no longer an issue for me--I don't do it).

If they are drinking buddies and will want to drink, you might suggest going to a brand new location, and in your mind tell yourself--This is going to be my NO DRINKING Oasis. The menu will be new, so you can find something fun to eat or to drink that is not alcoholic and you won't be flooded with memories of what you used to drink.

For me drinking was a habit: always did it when I first came home in the evening, always did it with certain people, always did it at certain places (restaurants etc.). I no longer drink at home, ever. So now my habits for being at home have changed and this is not a drinking place. Over the holidays I didn't do so well, and several times drank with friends or family: I am really, really working on the triggers or foolish thinking that preceded taking those drinks. I didn't over drink--but that, I have learned from SR, is the MOST dangerous drinking as it leads me to think that I can handle alcohol, which I cannot.

Bottom line: don't go out with friends that will be drinking without a firm plan in place to protect yourself and to stay sober.

flutter

Hi sarah! I felt that way too (still do), I thought that I "can't *not* drink if I go out.. I'm not fun, talkative, I'm shy ... etc etc". Really, I had to just chill and NOT go out for a while and then just DO it.. jump in. The more times you are out (maybe it's not best to be out where drinking is involved tho) in public with friends and not drinking, maybe you'll learn that it's not as horrifying as you thought! I've relaxed a bit in my skin.. I hope you can too! About 5 days into my sobriety (I am still newish here too), I did go to a bar to watch the fights, I knew everyone would drink but I also knew I wouldn't. Sure, I sat there pissed off that I "couldn't", irritated by everyone elses gregariousness, quiet as a mouse, and stomped out of there on the way home. But I was sober. And I woke up in the morning feeling GREAT. I haven't put myself in that situation (a drinking environment) since then, I don't flirt with my addiction... nooooo way! It's so much more important to me than being out.

Welcome!

BKP

Don't waste away the day by drinking and acting ashamed, please resist, it is hard we all know and struggle with this temptation.

James13

Don't go out. That's how.

What's more important? Your mental and physical well being, or one night out on the town?

Take care of you. Drinking won't do that.

least

If I were in your position I don't think I'd go out just now. You're still very new to recovery and need more time to 'find your ground'. And just remember this: there's nothing so bad that drinking can't make it worse.

:ghug3