TryingSoHard

Thanks, everyone. And don't get me wrong - I AM happy and grateful that I have 100 days.

I've read Under the Influence and found it to be very interesting and helpful. I have not yet read Beyond the Influence. Maybe I should check it out. I need to pull out my copy of Rational Recovery again, too. When I first read it, it was truly empowering. It made me feel great, like a weight had been lifted. I honestly felt like I was on the right path. Then (I said this in a post to Classical the other day) I fell into a lull of complacency and things started to go downhill.

I am not currently in therapy, but I believe I need to be. I've battled on and off with depression for 10 years now (longer than the drinking, by quite a bit). Sometimes I think I am just not a well person.

I've been considering going back to an AA meeting as well, but I can give you a laundry list of excuses why I haven't. I know I need to do *something*, though. Something's gotta give, and I don't want it to be my sobriety.

Eclipse - I laughed when I read your post here because I saw your message to me first and thought to myself, "I bet she hasn't seen my thread!" LOL Thanks, girlfriend!

Well, it's time for me to pick up the little man from the bus stop, and call and order our wings for the game tonight. All together now... GO GATORS!!! LOL 7:15 Central Time, y'all.

Thanks again. I love y'all, really. I'm very thankful that I have SR.

TryingSoHard

It's not OUT Sher, it's just not IN.

KindBird

Way to go 100 days! Thank you for letting all of know about the struggles and what you are going through. It helps me as a new comer who has struggled and given in to read about struggling and not giving in. And to read others about how they have struggled and not given in. I'll even join the GO Gator's club for tonight! And know you are out there with your diet soda in triple digits of sobriety (day 101!). Go TSH!

IO Storm

TSH

Just stay sober today..stay open.

Your path will open up. You have the willingness..

Go gators, and TSH!

SoberforME

TryingsoHard-

GATORS WON!!!!

YAY!!

Although when my partner and I called her parents at the end of the game her Mom wasn't done with the game, because they had TIVO'ed it and were 5 minutes behind. LOL We ruined it!!

coffeenut

Hey, first of all, 100 days!!!! How cool is that. Sometimes I think we get so caught up in life we forget what a huge milestone that is!

And then....you will have 'down' days in sobriety.....you had 'em drunk/using, you'll just remember them, now.

Celebrate, 100!

TryingSoHard

Gators won - YAY!

But today the Titans lost - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I just knew in my heart we were going to win... *sigh* Oh well, it was really fun getting to go to the game anyway.

Dude sitting next to me was drunk before the game even started and all I could think was, "Is THIS how I used to look to everyone else when I thought no one could notice I'd been drinking?!?!" Geesh. His eyes were glazed and bloodshot. He reeked of beer. He invaded personal space (and probably didn't even realize it). And he kicked over my $7 Diet Coke when I'd only taken about 2 sips out of it! But he did apologize and buy me a smaller one.

I was very grateful the whole time I was at the game that I'd actually be able to remember the entire thing tomorrow.

TheChangingMan

This has been a very interesting thread for me. I am only just finishing my 13th day sober but I have been having thoughts about not feeling an inner peace and also thinking that "one day" I may be able to drink "normally".

Reading that even after 100 days someone else is still having those thoughts scared me at first, but reading all the replies made me realise that it is a comparitively short space of time and that it is a long road but a road that doesnt have to be daunting if approached properly and with care.

I will have a look at the books mentioned and hope I am still going strong after 100 days.

TryingSoHard

For what it's worth, over just the past 2 or 3 days I've started feeling a little better. I might even go so far as to say I've been in a good mood today! LOL

Over the past week I've been working on becoming more accepting of things, and I think that's making a difference. I also just bought some new recovery books and maybe they're helping me wrap my mind around things.

I spent a lot longer than 100 days getting myself into this hole... it shouldn't be any surprise that it's taking longer than 100 days to get myself OUT of it.

Fubarcdn

100 says is awesome. I never stopped for 100 days in my life even after I lost a job abd my drivers license for DUI. I have heard that it gets a lot easier after 113 and three quarters days so hang in there.

TryingSoHard

Well hallelujah! I just wrapped up day 109 so I've only got 4 3/4 more days to go!!