StrongBird

Day 22 was when I slipped up after my first attempt. It's Day 22 again and I really want to drink. Not have a drink... I want to drink. I know you know what I mean.

My mind has been all over the place today. I knew today would be tricky because it's the end of the holiday season, my daughter's at her dad's house, I have the house to myself, etc. I just want to get out of my head. I honestly don't even know what I'm wanting to run away from, but I am on full tilt here.

This evening is going to be minute by minute. Knock some sense back into me. I am making all these excuses for why it would be ok to drink just tonight. At least I don't have any in the house, so as long as I can stay parked on the couch I'll be ok. But there's a store just a half mile away... HELP!

Anna

Hi Strongbird,

You can get through this and you'll be fine.

Drinking tonight is not an option.

Hang out here and read and post, or go out for a walk, call a friend, read a book, watch a movie. Do anything that will give you a few moments of relief. You can do this!

Danielson.

Hi Strongbird!

Just think about how good you feel in the morning if you don't drink. Remember, those withdrawals are not fun.

bodey29

Hi StrongBird. I've just hit day 20 myself. As Anna suggested find something else to do to keep yourself from having that drink. Join us in the chat room (new doc), keep posting, or reading other peoples posts. It is very therapeutic. Hang in there.

StrongBird

Thanks for the quick responses... it's good to have people to answer to.

I'm going to get up and get moving, clean the house and do some laundry to take my mind off it or at least kill time. I'll check back in in a little bit.

Omega Man

It just the alcoholic voice speaking and you know it. Remember H.A.L.T.! Never get to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
"my daughter's at her dad's house, I have the house to myself"

Your alone, so get out of the house, go see a movie, visit a friend, anything!

And instead of "I am making all these excuses for why it would be ok to drink just tonight" - start thinking that drink through.
Where and what will it lead to?
How much shame, regret and self-loathing are you willing to deal with tomorrow morning?

In the meantime, pick up the phone and call someone or just stay here and keep posting. Hang tough for awhile - the urge will pass soon.

Class of December '08 - remember! I'll send you a PM, we can bounce them back and forth until you feel better; I'm home alone too.

yeahgr8

Wow i remember tha feeling, it sucks! Just stay on the sofa and keep going until the store closes and then you do not have a choice anymore. isn't it amazing those fights withourselves and trying to justify drinking when objectively we know there is no real justification at all.

Urrgghhh! Please don't drink tonight!

Stay strong!

blue789

This is only day four for me and I had a big urge to drink "just today" too. I went to the grocery store, made some chicken nachos, started cleaning my house, and then picked up a book. The urge passed. I got on here to read some posts, and I'm feeling pretty proud of myself that I didn't give in.... There is so much support on these pages..... Hang in there!!!

flutter

Hope you're hanging in there StrongBird! Just think how great you'll feel if you surpass this 22 day mark, you can look back on it and flip it off or something tomorrow "neener neener neener, day 22 didn't beat me!".

StrongBird

Still here, still sober. Hanging on minute by minute. Still not convinced I can do it but I'm doing it right this second and that's all I got right now.

flutter

They say relapses start (and I fullllllly believe they do) WELL before you take a drink, nip this one where it is, put it away, and find something, anything to switch gears.

I'm here too.. if you need someone you can PM me too! There's a few people in chat I see, jump in!

onecent

Hi Strongbird - I totally understand where you are coming from. My daughter was at her dad's too this weekend - and that lonely, guilt feeling come rushing at me. How did I get passed it? I prayed, I was on this forum until after midnight last night, and prayed some more. I have two parents in ICU right now, and I am grateful that I was able to spend the day with them sober, responsible, and without a hangover or withdrawals. My daughter will be home in a few hours and with God's help I will greet her with a sober hug and kiss.

Please, today, tonight, stay online and pray! :praying

Ananda

strongbird..I hope you are hanging in there alright...it is true that the best is yet to come...

It is worth the battle

(hug)

Mariposa18

StrongBird~How are you doing, feeling any better? I'm here for you~

gerryP

Hey Strongbird!

Your doing well, though you might not feel that way.

Day 22 might be the day you have now registered in your mind from a previous relapse. This ISN'T THAT day.

Your daughter is at her Dad's. When the Cat's away, the mice will play theory. This DOESN'T have to be THAT time.

I know it can be difficult. Read a book...don't feel like reading, can't concentrate. Call a friend...don't feel like talking to anyone. Watch a movie...don't want to watch a movie...What I often did was lay down, turn off the light and tell myself, I was in bed safe. If I feel asleep even better. Tomorrow is a new day. Today might be the one you might have to fight. Get out the armour and sword. Try to accept that you feel/WANT a drink, but not today.

Good luck my dear. Doing right doesn't always feel good. Your doing great....

Rouxballs

Just dont do it!


You will be glad in the morning.

StrongBird

Thank you guys so much for being here. I'm still sober, house is clean, and I just hopped out of the shower and ordered delivery (I'm starving!). I'm feeling a lot better... still emotional or something, but the urge has passed. And I smell nice now too!


Reading this was like a lightbulb for me. Guilt! I am feeling especially like dog poo right now because my daughter has just mastered the concept of "favorite" and now she tells me, "Mommy, I not wanna go Daddy's house, I wanna stay with you, you my favorite. Mommy house is my favorite!" Talk about a knife through the heart, right? She called me and said, "Mommy, you go in you car? You drive you car to Daddy house and then we go to Mommy house and sleep at Mommy house!" She hasn't even seen her dad in almost a week (he was out of town) and I really needed this break. And I have AA plans tomorrow and Tuesday night. But three straight nights without Mommy is more than my little lady can count and I feel guilty. And of course I don't want to feel guilty, so this is normally where alcohol enters the equation.

I still feel guilty and headachey (I'm sure it's because I haven't eaten since breakfast) and generally angsty but I'm not going to drink tonight. I'd feel even more guilty if I flushed 22 days down the toilet. I know that for a fact.

Take THAT, Day 22! In your face!

Ananda

doesn't it feel great to come out the other side of the craving!

onecent

WOOHOO! Screw day 22!!!!

Mariposa18

Good for you StrongBird!!!!!!!! And I'm with the others, IN YOUR FACE DAY 22!!!!