Over 50 and recovering? How are you managing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Biloxi, MS
Posts: 15
Over 50 and recovering? How are you managing?
I am a 50 y/o woman who has had a binge drinking problem with anxiety and depression(I don't know what came first) for 15 years. I have recently lost my job and fear that I will lose everything else. I would really welcome some success stories from those around my age. I am so afraid that life is over for me. I can't shut off my mind and stop these thoughts of self loathing for the foolish things I've done and all I have thrown away. I still have my husband, but he has been pushed close to the limit. How will we pay the bills, will we lose our house, etc. There are no jobs our there right now--I am(was)a casino dealer.
It is day 3 of no drinking but the anxiety is worse than ever. I am struggling to make it through each hour and turn off my mind w/o taking a drink---I don't think I want one---just some relief. I have no treatment options other than AA as I have lost my health insurance. I am praying for the courage to go to a meeting today.
I need to know that it is possible to come back from this. I know it has been done but I need reassurance. SR has been my life line for the last few days and I really need it(Lots of need here-LOL)today.
Thank you all,
Peggy
It is day 3 of no drinking but the anxiety is worse than ever. I am struggling to make it through each hour and turn off my mind w/o taking a drink---I don't think I want one---just some relief. I have no treatment options other than AA as I have lost my health insurance. I am praying for the courage to go to a meeting today.
I need to know that it is possible to come back from this. I know it has been done but I need reassurance. SR has been my life line for the last few days and I really need it(Lots of need here-LOL)today.
Thank you all,
Peggy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
AA is one of the best treatment options....
if you make it through 10 days now, in AA, then you'll be stronger, perhaps, than when you would have gotten out of treatment
and in treatment they would tell you to go to AA meetings when you got out.
so now you can CREATE your own treatment center.
it starts when you wake up in the morning and ends just before you fall asleep
you can do everything you can think of to stay clean and sober
everything you can think of to stay focused on recovery
you have a great opportunity....good luck
if you make it through 10 days now, in AA, then you'll be stronger, perhaps, than when you would have gotten out of treatment
and in treatment they would tell you to go to AA meetings when you got out.
so now you can CREATE your own treatment center.
it starts when you wake up in the morning and ends just before you fall asleep
you can do everything you can think of to stay clean and sober
everything you can think of to stay focused on recovery
you have a great opportunity....good luck
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hi Peggysue
I am 51. Married and four kids. I have 11 weeks sobriety after drinking every day for as long as I can remember. I am kind of new in SR, I am sure you will get some experience, strength and hope from some really excellent folks here.
I am responding because I too wonder about my age and recovery. How do I step into this new way living? Is it too late?
NO NO NO NO NO NO
In just the past almost three months I have rediscovered myself. YES!!! I went through hell - all those repressed emotions, feelings, fears, anxiety (terrible anxiety) but sometimes, and more often lately, the good emotions come back too!!! I am feeling love, empathy, hope....
Go to as many meetings as often as you can. There were times when I went to two every day. You will find people there, face to face, who have experienced the same things you are...
Take walks. Take care of yourself. Listen to calming music. Drink some tea.
It's not as bad as you think.
Did I mention, go to meetings (LOL)..
Mark
I am 51. Married and four kids. I have 11 weeks sobriety after drinking every day for as long as I can remember. I am kind of new in SR, I am sure you will get some experience, strength and hope from some really excellent folks here.
I am responding because I too wonder about my age and recovery. How do I step into this new way living? Is it too late?
NO NO NO NO NO NO
In just the past almost three months I have rediscovered myself. YES!!! I went through hell - all those repressed emotions, feelings, fears, anxiety (terrible anxiety) but sometimes, and more often lately, the good emotions come back too!!! I am feeling love, empathy, hope....
Go to as many meetings as often as you can. There were times when I went to two every day. You will find people there, face to face, who have experienced the same things you are...
Take walks. Take care of yourself. Listen to calming music. Drink some tea.
It's not as bad as you think.
Did I mention, go to meetings (LOL)..
Mark
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family Peggy!
Like Mark said, there is a whole new life ahead of you.
This first part is really rough. The anxiety is almost crippling. Push yourself through it. Remind yourself that today, this moment is about a new Peggy.
A change in routines was very helpful for me in early recovery. I did a lot of cleaning, re-organizing and even painting here in my home the first week of sobriety. (It was suffering from neglect like other parts of my life). Now each day I can look around and see what a difference sobriety makes in my life.
We are glad you are here.
Like Mark said, there is a whole new life ahead of you.
This first part is really rough. The anxiety is almost crippling. Push yourself through it. Remind yourself that today, this moment is about a new Peggy.
A change in routines was very helpful for me in early recovery. I did a lot of cleaning, re-organizing and even painting here in my home the first week of sobriety. (It was suffering from neglect like other parts of my life). Now each day I can look around and see what a difference sobriety makes in my life.
We are glad you are here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Biloxi, MS
Posts: 15
Thank you for the inspiration. I know I must stay active and will try to fill my day with positive and productive things. I have neglected my home and family as well as myself. There is so much to do I will have to make a list and stay focused. Most importantly, I will go to a meeting today.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Hi Peggy and welcome to SR. I am 42 years old, but I hope I can still respond to your post. I had been a daily drinker since my college years. I had one respite while I was pregnant with my only son. I did return to drinking eventually though.
I understand the anxiety about "Okay, how do I handle life now that my crutch is missing?" I am 200 and some days sober and if you ever told me 200 and some days ago I would be sober this long I would have sent you a one way ticket to the nearest mental institution. I did it through changing my routine first and foremost. I then logged on to SR whenever the urge to drink reared its ugly head. I got rid of all alcohol in our house and even most of my wine glasses and stuff. I now was a non-drinker and therefore, didn't need the daily reminder. I started to take vitamins and exercise. I also kept a journal of my moods, thoughts and all. My mantra has been "Alcohol is no longer seen as an option." If you leave the door to drinking open you will most likely walk through it. If you nail it shut then you will have to find other methods of coping.
Stopping the addiction at any age is not a piece of cake, but it can be done and there are many, many here that have done it. I hope you will post whenever you need help. Feel free to pm me if you are having a rough day. Reaching out is key. Let us take your hand for awhile and help you along.
As Pelican said, "We are glad you are here." We have stood where you are standing now and we have found the road. Let us show you. There is hope.
I understand the anxiety about "Okay, how do I handle life now that my crutch is missing?" I am 200 and some days sober and if you ever told me 200 and some days ago I would be sober this long I would have sent you a one way ticket to the nearest mental institution. I did it through changing my routine first and foremost. I then logged on to SR whenever the urge to drink reared its ugly head. I got rid of all alcohol in our house and even most of my wine glasses and stuff. I now was a non-drinker and therefore, didn't need the daily reminder. I started to take vitamins and exercise. I also kept a journal of my moods, thoughts and all. My mantra has been "Alcohol is no longer seen as an option." If you leave the door to drinking open you will most likely walk through it. If you nail it shut then you will have to find other methods of coping.
Stopping the addiction at any age is not a piece of cake, but it can be done and there are many, many here that have done it. I hope you will post whenever you need help. Feel free to pm me if you are having a rough day. Reaching out is key. Let us take your hand for awhile and help you along.
As Pelican said, "We are glad you are here." We have stood where you are standing now and we have found the road. Let us show you. There is hope.
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
Hello , and welcome to the family of SR Peggysue ... its a great family and without knowing us quiet yet , youve already been adopted as a member of one of the greatest familys there is besides your own , I myself just rolled over onto 46 yr of age , I started my Soberity at 40, tho im not yet 50 but im slowing moveing there , Life dont stop cuz of age , and we have the ability to un-do the damages we have done to all our ppl in our lifes , Its not a easy journey but its rewards are more then we could ever dream of . I know things seem so dark and gloomy we all been there in one way or another and age dont matter, But some how things strat workin out for the better , work a program do whats asked , and step bye step , day by day ,, you can be where so many of us are . As Horsey said let us help you . were glad your here . You mentioned employment and such . there are places that can help you while your in the rut of unemployment , they work on a sliding scale , cant hurt to inquire bout it if thats something you would be interested in , Is what I did at the time . anyways were glad your here and stick around read and post , there is a post for meetings on tueday nites here on SR in the chat room . come join us . share or just listen , the choice is yours . 
endzy
endzy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I just turned 50.....it's great to be sober at any age I think. I liked ksplashes idea...i did treatment which helped alot, but just make a routine that is really recovery related...SR time, reading studying time about this disease, bath time, eating times scheduled...as much routine as you can in a day ....
That was part of what worked for me about treatement...and LOTS of interaction with other alchoholics through AA, NA, SR, whatever..:day4
That was part of what worked for me about treatement...and LOTS of interaction with other alchoholics through AA, NA, SR, whatever..:day4
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
I am 56 and had years of drinking too much and am in day 25. I know for me getting support from the outside (friends, husband, therapist, this forum in my case) was what finally made me be able to get to day 25 - and I hope it keeps me going til year 25 (will be 81 then!).
I had lots of thoughts about being pretty old to be facing this problem - self talk like "why did I let this go so long" and "look at that 50 year old with 20 years under their belt.." self-defeating stuff.
I finally did some real research on what I was doing go my body with the regular alcohol use - like I was slowly killing myself and would die of something related to alcohol use if I did not get in an accident while drinking first. I also think that it is hard to get the thoughts clear while drinking. Here on day 25 I am getting some understanding that I did not have on day 24 even. The alcohol messes with your brain (as well as body and spirit).
I am too new to this process to give advice but I say keep trying - never stop trying. I have tried so many times to stop and maybe this is the real one (it feels that way).
Keep trying and let yourself get support from others if you can!
I had lots of thoughts about being pretty old to be facing this problem - self talk like "why did I let this go so long" and "look at that 50 year old with 20 years under their belt.." self-defeating stuff.
I finally did some real research on what I was doing go my body with the regular alcohol use - like I was slowly killing myself and would die of something related to alcohol use if I did not get in an accident while drinking first. I also think that it is hard to get the thoughts clear while drinking. Here on day 25 I am getting some understanding that I did not have on day 24 even. The alcohol messes with your brain (as well as body and spirit).
I am too new to this process to give advice but I say keep trying - never stop trying. I have tried so many times to stop and maybe this is the real one (it feels that way).
Keep trying and let yourself get support from others if you can!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Peggysue. I got sober when I was 52, I had to be medically detoxed just to get sober. The hardest part at first was staying sober, but the program of AA was what saved my butt.
I am living life today like I have not lived it in over 30 years, I am 55 now and loving life sober!!! It is well worth getting sober. We had a gentleman that was 84 last year that celebrated his one year anniversary sober at a meeting I was at...... he was grinning from ear to ear!!!!
I am living life today like I have not lived it in over 30 years, I am 55 now and loving life sober!!! It is well worth getting sober. We had a gentleman that was 84 last year that celebrated his one year anniversary sober at a meeting I was at...... he was grinning from ear to ear!!!!
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Originally Posted by peggysue58 
I need to know that it is possible to come back from this.
Peggy
Peggy
It absolutely is possible to come back from this. AA is a brilliant option. Everyone I know - including me - felt the most wonderful feeling of release, welcome belonging and freedom at their first meeting. PLEASE JUST GO!!! YOU CAN DO THIS AND WE DO RECOVER!!!
8I promise you!!!
Cathy31
x
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Hi, peggysue. I'm not over 50 (I turned 40 in July), but many of my women friends in recovery are. Although I don't like to generalize about anyone's journey in sobriety, it seems to me that the dramatic turnarounds I've seen have been in the over-50 set.
Please try not to be too nervous or afraid to go to AA. Even if you are, please try it anyway. I think you'll find that those feelings dissipate very quickly when you see how welcoming others are and how much they care that you stick around.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Please try not to be too nervous or afraid to go to AA. Even if you are, please try it anyway. I think you'll find that those feelings dissipate very quickly when you see how welcoming others are and how much they care that you stick around.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Biloxi, MS
Posts: 15
Thank you all for the kind words and most of all the support! Believe me, I am listening and learning from everyone here. I can't believe how wonderful everyone has been. I am feeling better by the hour, am fighting these urges and I will not drink today.
Peggy
Peggy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: nj
Posts: 8
My dad got sober 6 years ago (happy anniversary, daddy! 12/20) at 50 years old after the last of many trips to the hospital that year. He was finally diagnosed diabetic. Between the diabetes & pancreatitis he was told if he continued drinking he'd be dead.
He was released from the hospital before Christmas & spent the first week sober trying to figure out how to take his blood sugar & give himself insulin shots. Most nights ended in tears of anger, frustration, and shame. He's 6'4" & 250lbs, big Polish build and just a teddy bear to everyone. It was horrible to watch.
He'd attended AA in the past & been successfully sober for 8 or 10 years at a clip during periods of our lives, but this time, I think it'll stick. He's happy, he's working with doctor's (and not lying to them!) who are trying to get his anxiety, depression & bipolar (recent diagnosis that we're figuring he managed by drinking) under control. He's made great friends & sponsored a lot of guys that I know are better people because of him. That makes me more proud than anything. He'd do anything for anyone & I couldn't be happier that when I have a conversation with him, I know he'll remember it the next day.
He took his life back. It's not easy, and everything wasn't magically fixed when he quit drinking, but I can say he's a better father, husband and friend.
Age is a number. Don't use it to determine how you should live. Do everything you can to live the best that you can now. Good luck.
He was released from the hospital before Christmas & spent the first week sober trying to figure out how to take his blood sugar & give himself insulin shots. Most nights ended in tears of anger, frustration, and shame. He's 6'4" & 250lbs, big Polish build and just a teddy bear to everyone. It was horrible to watch.
He'd attended AA in the past & been successfully sober for 8 or 10 years at a clip during periods of our lives, but this time, I think it'll stick. He's happy, he's working with doctor's (and not lying to them!) who are trying to get his anxiety, depression & bipolar (recent diagnosis that we're figuring he managed by drinking) under control. He's made great friends & sponsored a lot of guys that I know are better people because of him. That makes me more proud than anything. He'd do anything for anyone & I couldn't be happier that when I have a conversation with him, I know he'll remember it the next day.
He took his life back. It's not easy, and everything wasn't magically fixed when he quit drinking, but I can say he's a better father, husband and friend.
Age is a number. Don't use it to determine how you should live. Do everything you can to live the best that you can now. Good luck.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Hi Peg!
I am 52. Recovered alcoholic, addict, and a bipolar to boot! My clean and sober date
is 6/8/06. I am in AA..and I strongly recommend it, obviously. Please go.
Get started..and then see about getting some help with the anxiety and depression
if it continues. But just for today? AA is the best treatment.
Hugs
I am 52. Recovered alcoholic, addict, and a bipolar to boot! My clean and sober date
is 6/8/06. I am in AA..and I strongly recommend it, obviously. Please go.
Get started..and then see about getting some help with the anxiety and depression
if it continues. But just for today? AA is the best treatment.
Hugs
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Welcome!!!!!
I got sober at the beginning of May and I turned 40 in July. So I am not 50 but I do understand the self defeating talk as I have so many friends in AA that got sober in their 20's. I got sober when I was 26, stayed sober for a couple of years and went back out for a decade. I still want to kick myself but I can not regret the past today, I have to live my life to the fullest from this day forward! I am almost 7 months sober and I could not be happier. I did it without medical intervention, on my own with the fellowship of AA and a strong relationship with a higher power today. You can do this and we are here to support you!!!!!!
Get into action! My best advice? Take a volunteer commitment as soon as possible. Offer to set up chairs, make coffee, etc. Show up to meetings 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes after the close. You will be amazed at how quickly you feel a part of! Keep posting!
I got sober at the beginning of May and I turned 40 in July. So I am not 50 but I do understand the self defeating talk as I have so many friends in AA that got sober in their 20's. I got sober when I was 26, stayed sober for a couple of years and went back out for a decade. I still want to kick myself but I can not regret the past today, I have to live my life to the fullest from this day forward! I am almost 7 months sober and I could not be happier. I did it without medical intervention, on my own with the fellowship of AA and a strong relationship with a higher power today. You can do this and we are here to support you!!!!!!
Get into action! My best advice? Take a volunteer commitment as soon as possible. Offer to set up chairs, make coffee, etc. Show up to meetings 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes after the close. You will be amazed at how quickly you feel a part of! Keep posting!
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,151
Hi there
Some great suggestions already. The average age ( I saw stats 18 months ago) for getting sober (in the UK anyway) is 42. I got sober 6 years ago aged 40 but I don't think age matters cos us recovering alkies are all living on borrowed time.
AA has given me a Life, a purpose, a tool kit for daily living and Fun!! I never had much of that when I was drunk. I'm perimenopausal too and glad I am sober to deal with it. Give AA a try, what have you got to lose?
Some great suggestions already. The average age ( I saw stats 18 months ago) for getting sober (in the UK anyway) is 42. I got sober 6 years ago aged 40 but I don't think age matters cos us recovering alkies are all living on borrowed time.
AA has given me a Life, a purpose, a tool kit for daily living and Fun!! I never had much of that when I was drunk. I'm perimenopausal too and glad I am sober to deal with it. Give AA a try, what have you got to lose?
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