Attitude: Why be sad?
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Attitude: Why be sad?
Here's something that, IMHO, cannot be emphasized enough: the importance of having a positive attitude and being optimistic. Not only when it comes to addiction and recovery, but in life in general. I've posted about my relapse; what I can't figure out is why I've been struggling so much this time around when, a few months ago, getting sober was practically a breeze. Well, today I discovered something:
Earlier this year, I was upbeat because I was looking forward to recovery, so I gladly put up with withdrawal. I did not "endure" it. I was, in fact, ecstatic - so happy, relieved and grateful that I didn't even crave for months. More importantly, I didn't think of happiness as a distant promise that would enter my life after an inordinate amount of suffering, white knuckles and strife. I simply let it in, and there I was: happy!
This time around, it's embarrassing. I'm behaving like a whiny brat who has just been told "NO!". Well, bingo! Nobody likes to be denied something. So... how about YES instead??! How about *wanting* recovery again. What's up with all the gloom and doom?? To be 100% honest, I actually dislike drinking. And nobody is forcing me to be sober, either. :wtf2 Well, there's nothing rational about addiction. But a few affirmations can deal with irrationality.
Yes: Recovery is freedom. It's the opposite of deprivation.
Yes: Happiness, wellbeing, gratitude can happen NOW.
Yes: Recovery is as good and as easy as we want it to be.
Yes: Feeling relieved is much better than a sense of impending doom.
Yes: We do give up nothing worth keeping.
I've never liked the "fake it til you make it" thing, but affirmations are a way to avoid faking it because, if one believes, all of this is real. The one catch is to avoid "nos". Also, I really miss my sunny self, but that's besides the point.
Matt - a single YES can undo a lifetime of NOs
feeling a bit sunny again 
my attitude has changed for the worse.
Earlier this year, I was upbeat because I was looking forward to recovery, so I gladly put up with withdrawal. I did not "endure" it. I was, in fact, ecstatic - so happy, relieved and grateful that I didn't even crave for months. More importantly, I didn't think of happiness as a distant promise that would enter my life after an inordinate amount of suffering, white knuckles and strife. I simply let it in, and there I was: happy!
This time around, it's embarrassing. I'm behaving like a whiny brat who has just been told "NO!". Well, bingo! Nobody likes to be denied something. So... how about YES instead??! How about *wanting* recovery again. What's up with all the gloom and doom?? To be 100% honest, I actually dislike drinking. And nobody is forcing me to be sober, either. :wtf2 Well, there's nothing rational about addiction. But a few affirmations can deal with irrationality.
Yes: Recovery is freedom. It's the opposite of deprivation.
Yes: Happiness, wellbeing, gratitude can happen NOW.
Yes: Recovery is as good and as easy as we want it to be.
Yes: Feeling relieved is much better than a sense of impending doom.
Yes: We do give up nothing worth keeping.
I've never liked the "fake it til you make it" thing, but affirmations are a way to avoid faking it because, if one believes, all of this is real. The one catch is to avoid "nos". Also, I really miss my sunny self, but that's besides the point.
Matt - a single YES can undo a lifetime of NOs
feeling a bit sunny again Last edited by Mattcake; 11-09-2008 at 10:47 AM.
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
You're so right Matt. Since the recession threatened, I haven't moaned about going to work anymore, I'm darn grateful to be there! Changed my whole view of a Monday, lol!
Perception is reality. I try work on it every day - to be happy with what I got, not with what I want.
Perception is reality. I try work on it every day - to be happy with what I got, not with what I want.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 159
Can't agree more Matt. Attitude makes all the difference in your life. It's not something that happens overnight and takes some longer than others to learn. I'm still working at it but have found a significant difference in the quality of my life when I am positive and happy about all situations.
Keep inspiring!
Bruce
Keep inspiring!
Bruce
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
I really try to keep a good and positive attitude but sometimes my depression and anxiety won't let me. However, no matter how depressed I may be, I am always happy to be sober and want to stay sober, so if any part of my attitude needs to stay positive, that's the biggest and best one! 
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Preaching to the choir brother. While I'm waiting for my life to get better I'm missing out on today, the moment. Truth love and happiness exist whether I choose to be a part of them today or not. Since I'm waxing philosophical for me God is here today. Everything I need is already here. Today I'm going to give what I can to life and see how that interacts with the truth of my heart love and happiness.
Thanks for the positive post this morning Matty.
Thanks for the positive post this morning Matty.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Originally Posted by bruce24 
but have found a significant difference in the quality of my life when I am positive and happy about all situations.
Originally Posted by lostbutterfly
Perception is reality.
Originally Posted by Dean62
Truth love and happiness exist whether I choose to be a part of them today or not.
I appreciate the feedback. This might sound corny and new agey, but I do believe in miracles - the power of our thoughts is very underrated... I know my life changed the instant I started paying more attention to my thoughts. Similarly, it all went downhill as soon as I started indulging in defeatist, poor me attitudes.Yes, addiction is a self-imposed disaster... But I think we could, at the very least, try to cultivate gratitude and a more optimistic point of view. Why would we choose to approach life as though we were doomed?... The very fact that we're here in SR speaks volumes: the worst can be over the very instant we make a decision.
Uhmmm... that's a good thing... right?
:bounce IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Matt:
Thank you Matt, for this inspiring thread.
Both of these quotes by you and Dean jumped out at me...
Yes, it CAN happen..DOES happen, IS happening.
Hugs
Yes: Happiness, wellbeing, gratitude can happen NOW.
Since I'm waxing philosophical for me God is here today. Everything I need is already here.
Both of these quotes by you and Dean jumped out at me...
Yes, it CAN happen..DOES happen, IS happening.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Yes I've been hearing lately, from different sources about the ability to just choose how to feel. If you feel low, just adjust your mind and feel happy. I have been trying it and you know sometimes it does help. They should treat this kind of stuff to grade schoolers, in fact, a lot of the stuff I learn here at SR should be taught to kids, might make some of their lives easier.
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Thanx:Matty for this Awareness,I agree with you about Why!! be Sad
Is call and "Attitude with a Gratitude"Just Last week I when to -
the Hall way out side my Apt, to take a Cigarette Break and I been
Going trough allot of Set Back Lately in my Life,I was about to Indulge
into that Self Pitty Pot, and "Stinking Thinking",when out of no were
from Deep Down Inside of me I Got the "Fight to Flight" Attitude
either is that or the Stinking Thinking, and we all know that once
we get caught up in those Negative feelings, or toughs, that's it
is all over for me, is a Rap,so I star it Talking Positive inside my Mind,
and I star it Thinking Positive,when I came to see the out come of those
Low self,defeating toughs and feelings weren't there no more
I star it feeling more Positive,and Calmness was replace instead of Fear
and when you came to see there it was that one phone call I been waiting
for the Inspection Dept, call me to tell me they already posted a date
to Go Inspect my New Apt,
all we got to do is Replace the Negative energy with Positive
in the Rooms they say It Works if you Work it So Work it Cause your Worth it
nothing is Impossible we just Got to use the Tools and the Rest will Fallow
Is call and "Attitude with a Gratitude"Just Last week I when to -
the Hall way out side my Apt, to take a Cigarette Break and I been
Going trough allot of Set Back Lately in my Life,I was about to Indulge
into that Self Pitty Pot, and "Stinking Thinking",when out of no were
from Deep Down Inside of me I Got the "Fight to Flight" Attitude
either is that or the Stinking Thinking, and we all know that once
we get caught up in those Negative feelings, or toughs, that's it
is all over for me, is a Rap,so I star it Talking Positive inside my Mind,
and I star it Thinking Positive,when I came to see the out come of those
Low self,defeating toughs and feelings weren't there no more
I star it feeling more Positive,and Calmness was replace instead of Fear
and when you came to see there it was that one phone call I been waiting
for the Inspection Dept, call me to tell me they already posted a date
to Go Inspect my New Apt,
all we got to do is Replace the Negative energy with Positive
in the Rooms they say It Works if you Work it So Work it Cause your Worth it
nothing is Impossible we just Got to use the Tools and the Rest will Fallow
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
"Yes: Recovery is as good and as easy as we want it to be."
That's my favorite! Thank you for the thoughtful post!
You need to scoot over to the survivor thread and give yourself an "I"
for Inspirational
or "PA" for Positive Attitude
That's my favorite! Thank you for the thoughtful post!
You need to scoot over to the survivor thread and give yourself an "I"
for Inspirational
or "PA" for Positive Attitude
"Welcome To The Future..."
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: WV
Posts: 224
Matt,
Thanks for this insightful post. At my last therapy appt. I was given some homework to do. He handed me a sheet of paper with a very simple title:
"What Sobriety Means To Me:"
It then has 10 lines in which I'm to write my thoughts about sobriety, whether they be good or bad. Believe me, I could write a lot more than 10 lines on the subject! I started a rough draft and so far every positive thing about sobriety also has a negative. Before I get beat up here, I don't mean that sobriety is ever a negative thing. IT IS NOT--It is the most positive thing that can ever happen in the life of an addict!
I'm just saying that you could divide the paper in half, and on one side put pro's and on the other put con's. But there again I realized that I'm thinking of negative aspects of sobriety which really breaks down to me just not wanting to let go of my addiction. It really is just as simple as that. When are you absolutely sure that you want to let go?? Six months ago, I was all for it. Now as the big finish of my program approaches, I'm being tested again. I'm sure this isn't an uncommon thing to have these feelings.
Anyway, didn't mean to hijack your thread Matty. All of those positive things you were saying are an inspiration, as you always are. Sometime's it's funny where we find inspiration. I was watching Spiderman 3 last night, lol, and was struck by something that was said toward the end of the movie. I wrote it down and wanted to share it with others here as I feel it fits the topic of addiction incredibly well and is quite inspiring.
Take what applies to you, leave the rest. Good to see you are doing well Matt. Keep up the incredible work!
Love you,
SP
Thanks for this insightful post. At my last therapy appt. I was given some homework to do. He handed me a sheet of paper with a very simple title:
"What Sobriety Means To Me:"
It then has 10 lines in which I'm to write my thoughts about sobriety, whether they be good or bad. Believe me, I could write a lot more than 10 lines on the subject! I started a rough draft and so far every positive thing about sobriety also has a negative. Before I get beat up here, I don't mean that sobriety is ever a negative thing. IT IS NOT--It is the most positive thing that can ever happen in the life of an addict!
I'm just saying that you could divide the paper in half, and on one side put pro's and on the other put con's. But there again I realized that I'm thinking of negative aspects of sobriety which really breaks down to me just not wanting to let go of my addiction. It really is just as simple as that. When are you absolutely sure that you want to let go?? Six months ago, I was all for it. Now as the big finish of my program approaches, I'm being tested again. I'm sure this isn't an uncommon thing to have these feelings.
Anyway, didn't mean to hijack your thread Matty. All of those positive things you were saying are an inspiration, as you always are. Sometime's it's funny where we find inspiration. I was watching Spiderman 3 last night, lol, and was struck by something that was said toward the end of the movie. I wrote it down and wanted to share it with others here as I feel it fits the topic of addiction incredibly well and is quite inspiring.
Whatever battle we have raging inside us,
We Always Have a Choice.
Choose to be the Best of Yourself.
The Choices Make Us Who We Are,
And We Can Always Choose to Do What is Right".
We Always Have a Choice.
Choose to be the Best of Yourself.
The Choices Make Us Who We Are,
And We Can Always Choose to Do What is Right".
Take what applies to you, leave the rest. Good to see you are doing well Matt. Keep up the incredible work!
Love you,
SP
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