Just asking for someone to keep me in their thoughts tonight...
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: My Head
Posts: 9
Just asking for someone to keep me in their thoughts tonight...
Right...don't really have much to say. A few weeks ago I posted on another thread with my tail between my legs because I had returned under a new alias since I had slipped after a long time sober. Well, I believe it was Carol who said, to paraphrase, "Look, you tried it by yourself before. It didn't work. Try a meeting."
Thank you...after a couple of days of hemming and hawing, I finally made it to my first AA meeting. I have to say, honestly it wasn't one of the most favorable experiences of my life. The meeting that I went to a couple of days later was, however. I've been to a few more since then, and always try to remember - "take what you need, leave the rest behind." It's been going good. I've got some sobriety under my belt again - albeit days, not months - but that's not the important thing. The important thing is that I haven't drank today.
Which leads me to this. For some reason my head has been playing funny tricks on me today and the little man inside is trying to tell me things I don't want to hear. I'm sitting here at work, getting ready to go to the gym and then home. This is always the dangerous time of the day, as I have to pass SOOO many gas stations, convenience stores, liquor stores etc just to get home. I've also found that after leaving the gym, I'm REALLY susceptible to the nasty little thoughts because I'm feeling my most invincible. Anyway, I just needed to unload a bit and maybe ask that someone keep me in their thoughts as I try to "make it home" tonight.
Thank you...after a couple of days of hemming and hawing, I finally made it to my first AA meeting. I have to say, honestly it wasn't one of the most favorable experiences of my life. The meeting that I went to a couple of days later was, however. I've been to a few more since then, and always try to remember - "take what you need, leave the rest behind." It's been going good. I've got some sobriety under my belt again - albeit days, not months - but that's not the important thing. The important thing is that I haven't drank today.
Which leads me to this. For some reason my head has been playing funny tricks on me today and the little man inside is trying to tell me things I don't want to hear. I'm sitting here at work, getting ready to go to the gym and then home. This is always the dangerous time of the day, as I have to pass SOOO many gas stations, convenience stores, liquor stores etc just to get home. I've also found that after leaving the gym, I'm REALLY susceptible to the nasty little thoughts because I'm feeling my most invincible. Anyway, I just needed to unload a bit and maybe ask that someone keep me in their thoughts as I try to "make it home" tonight.
You're in my thoughts, too. I promise you it gets easier as time goes by. I know you get tired of hearing that, but at 9 mos. I hardly ever have weak moments like you're describing - but in the beginning, every day was a new challenge. You will grow stronger as you keep forging ahead. All your feelings are perfectly normal, and we've all been there. Feel free to unload any time.
Crazy feeling ain't it...lonely..like you are the only sad..anxious..on the edge,
mixed up..everyone else on the road, seems happy.
Weird huh?
It's a lie. I was there..still go there.
But don't stay there for long.
My thoughts are with you!
Please..try another meeting...and
Don't drink no matter what.
Hugs
mixed up..everyone else on the road, seems happy.
Weird huh?
It's a lie. I was there..still go there.
But don't stay there for long.
My thoughts are with you!
Please..try another meeting...and
Don't drink no matter what.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
It helps me to focus on the little details of what i am doing...noticing who passes me on the street, the cracks on the sidewalk, my breathing, the sounds around me....just staying in the moment as entirly as possible.
I'll be thinking of you!8
I'll be thinking of you!8
Hi DW,
I think that being prepared, as you are, gives you strength. The voice in your head isn't going to give up easily. But, I found, that seeing it for what it was, was a big help to me. It was the disease talking, it was not me. I knew what I needed to do, I knew where my focus was.
Know that you are not alone tonight.
I think that being prepared, as you are, gives you strength. The voice in your head isn't going to give up easily. But, I found, that seeing it for what it was, was a big help to me. It was the disease talking, it was not me. I knew what I needed to do, I knew where my focus was.
Know that you are not alone tonight.
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