Bamboozle

I probably wouldn't think it's b.s....

I'm really close to relapsing. I never drank for alcohol's sake--I drank to self-medicate. I felt like crap way before I ever started drinking. I've finally admitted to myself that I need help from medical professionals to treat the problems I have that cause me to seek escapism. I hope I can find the care...I have no insurance.

Jig, I have no idea what you situation is, but I hope you can get better soon. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice for you. Hang in there.

Hevyn

Jig, I've been worrying too...had a bad feeling. I am so relieved you had the courage to come back here and say what happened - it would've been so easy to never return. That in itself means progress has been made. When & if you feel like telling the whole story, we'll be here to listen and understand. We love you. You are one of us.

Dee74

bs or not, I haven't forgotten how persuasive those motivations are - I'm sorry if I came across as dismissive, JigOv...

I hope you find whatever you need to get back to where you want to be, mate....and soon.

D

least

Bamboozle, don't let yourself relapse. You don't have to do that. Whatever it is, you can talk yourself thru it. We're here for you. Do'nt let yourself down! We love ya!

Jules62

Hey Jig,

I get it-I did it many times myself too.I'm not condoning it tho-just saying I understand.

That said-I believe you're better than this and I hope you find a good enough reason to stop. You know it'll kill you eventually.And if you are anything like I was?You're not even enjoying it anymore either.

Julesxox

bostonluv

Bamboozle & Jig - Hang in there. No more drinks..... Seriously, post when you need support. Sorry I am too sick to add much but that...Thinking of you both.

JigOvLife

7.00 a.m in the morning. There's a lot of empty cans surrounding my 'puter chair. Most of them have been used as ashtrays and they look frankly 'minging' as we say around here.
Despite having another blind date thing, later on this afternoon, I really don't want to drink today (yet).

All of those fantasy, drinking situations and pints have been covered these last 4 days. You know, the ones that keep popping into your head when sobriety sometimes feels like a chore.

There's nothing else left, I've held court in pubs across Yorkshire (and Nottinghamshire. I've been about a bit with this one), had a Hoegarden in Fernandes, a Guinness, or two in Fagan's and The Dog and Partridge. Done a few rounds of Tequila slammers, even had a Baileys.
That's it, all bases covered. If I don't pick up today, I can put this aberration down to 'getting it outta my system'.

Yesterday I managed till 5.00 p.m before thinking,
'F***it! Might as well have a 4 day bender , rather than a 3 day one'

I've not drunk on negative emotions yet, which like many of us, is the real hook. However I really hope this date goes well, 'cos if it doesn't, there's a prime drinking excuse.

At some point I'd like to detail the build up and planning that went into this binge. I didn't pick up out of the blue, it's almost comical to look back on last week's thought processes and fuzzy logic.

Thank you all so much for being here, especially after I'd disappeared off radar for a while. You're true friends and I feel humbled.

Dee74

always here for a PM, should you feel so inclined, mate.
I can even promise to be more or less objective

D

JigOvLife

Boll*cks, vodka for nerves...ahh well, there's always tomorrow. Gonna have to socially isolate again for a week or so and get back into my sober groove.
I enjoy sobriety, that's the weird thing but I've got to learn to socialise, happily without a drink.

Cheers

Emimily

too bad you don't live near me, we could hang out sober and happy. you could come play dodgeball with us on tuesdays, or softball on sundays, or come to yoga or play capture the flag or hang out at the coffee shop or record music or draw with the artists... sobriety has given me all these options. i bet, if you look for them, they exist for you as well.

i used to have to make sure that EVERYONE liked me, or else i'd bug out. i don't have to do that anymore. i used to feel alone, even at parties or bars or trips. now, no matter what, i know i'm not alone. it really happened. it really worked.

lovelove.

JigOvLife

Emimily...that was so inspiring, thank you.

Bizarrely that date went so well, we ended up Kayaking (!? it was a surprise to me too ! )

If I get the e-mail I'm expecting, tonight, (with crossed fingers!) I'll never drink again. (Maybe)

Unfortunately I hold in my right hand a large Vodka Coke.

Tonight.


Thanks again folks

bostonluv

Jig - Did you get the e-mail that you were expecting? Just checking in.

Hevyn

Yeah, Jig, update needed. You can't get rid of us.