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Confession

Old 09-13-2008, 07:29 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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The voices are going down.

We've all teamed up on them. Together we are stronger and we can work as a team to help each other fight those voices.

Starve the voice and it will weaken. It won't stay as strong forever.

Just for today, we can hang in there and not drink.

We need more frying pans, LOL.
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:32 AM
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I need to hang on to this thread as a reminder. I don't ever need to forget that no matter how long it's been, all it takes is one drink to send me back to this place.

One drink is all it takes to start up the madness.
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:37 AM
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Coming here and being honest was the best thing I have done for myself in months.

I feel free now. When I kept my pain private, it was all on my shoulders with no one to help me get through. I felt like it was going to eat me alive. It was just an unspoken pain that even the people in my life noticed but they didn't mention it to me. I was drinking and spent all of my days trying to hide it and pretend that I was alright. But I was falling apart inside.

But now talking about it helps me get strength to continue forward.
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:56 AM
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getting there
 
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Hi Hope,
Thank you for having the courage to make this post. I've been at this for a few months now and have gotten as far as 35 days before relapsing. The Voice is very strong and sneaky, isn't it? I do think each time I've gone back out I've learned a little more about the mistakes I'm making and feel stronger for it going forward. I try to keep those things in mind every time I feel like "having one drink". Glad you're back and good luck to you!
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Old 09-13-2008, 08:03 AM
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Colagirl,

I'm glad you are back here too.
You can do it.

It's not always pleasant. But being sober is better. Sometimes it takes the clearing of our brains and our clear thoughts to return to be able to realize this. Don't give up.

Hang in there.

No matter what, it always passes as long as you don't give in to it.
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Old 09-13-2008, 08:38 AM
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Physically, I feel like crap.
Withdrawals.

I feel extremely sick right now.

And shaky.
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Old 09-13-2008, 09:10 AM
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The last time I was where you are at now (yes I was there many times) the only thing I really wanted to do was get chug some rum. I new that would relieve the way I was feeling mentally and physically but I new it would only last a few hours and then I would need more, and more etc. The only way to never be where you are at now again is to never drink again. Period.

There is no shame in falling down. The shame is in not getting back up.

You know what to do. Glad you are here with us sharing.
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Old 09-13-2008, 09:56 AM
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I'm shaking really bad. I don't feel like eating anything. I had to force something down my throat because lack of food was making me weaker. I tried to lay down to go to sleep but I couldn't sleep. I wanted to just sleep it off but sleeplessness is a problem too. The later in the day it gets, the worse I am feeling.
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Old 09-13-2008, 10:01 AM
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Hon, if it is getting worse you should seriously think of going to the ER ASAP.
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Old 09-13-2008, 10:03 AM
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I will if it gets really bad or if anything weird starts to happen.
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Old 09-13-2008, 10:16 AM
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let it grow!
 
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keep reaching out, hope. and felly is right - get to the doctor or er if the withdrawls are bad. not worth takin' any chances..

support to you, and prayers, k
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Old 09-13-2008, 11:27 AM
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Hi Hope, Thanks for posting your story. It took a lot of courage. That's the first step. It wasn't that long ago i was where your at now. Just hang in there and don't give up.

I could relate to a lot of your story. When i relapsed last New years for 3 weeks i didn't think i would be back. I had so much shame and disappointment in myself.

There's definitely hope for recovery. That's your name on here and don't forget it. Hang onto that hope. Miracles happen every day. You can be one too.

So glad your back. Just take it one day at a time. One minute at a time if you have too. Just don't pick up that first drink.


Barb
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Old 09-13-2008, 11:34 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Glad you lived thru this drinking spree.

So many of us alcoholics die having "Just One"

Blessings as you begin your fresh start
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Old 09-13-2008, 11:41 AM
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I have a purpose today.
 
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Thank you so much for sharing. I can relate 100% right now. we are going thru alot of the same.
please hang in there... for the both of us.
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Old 09-13-2008, 12:00 PM
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Hope, it's so wonderful you're back - please be proud of yourself for having the guts to come here and tell about it. It is just so damn hard to get it right. I did what you did, convinced myself I could moderate. How could I not have enough willpower to stick to just a few drinks? I tried dozens of times over the years to make it work - anything but quit all together!! Once I even stopped for 3 yrs. As soon as I tried to resume social drinking, the same downward spiral began. Being older - this last time almost did me in. I'm convinced I was facing insanity and/or death. Our bodies can't keep coming back from this abuse. I know your nerves will be shot & your emotions will be all over the place for awhile, but you are pulling yourself up out of hell once again - and this can be the last time. Love, Joanie
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Old 09-13-2008, 12:22 PM
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Mega thanks to everyone for your support today. Thanks for being there for me. It was a huge help!
:ghug
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Old 09-13-2008, 12:47 PM
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Even though posts like these are heartbreaking they really do help me in saying look how it happens...we all have the same story with the same ending result. It is creepy to know but good to know. I hope you will continue to recover from this terrible diesease.
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Old 09-13-2008, 01:13 PM
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Hope.

There are only three things to do..

Don't beat yourself up

Don't give up

Get medical help if necessary

And feel my arms around you, dear. I've been there..you know my story

from CIR...feel His arms. You are not alone. Ever. And then there are

all of these wonderful, absolutely wonderful people here. They have helped

me for the last two years.

Prayers and hugs,

Sherry
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Old 09-13-2008, 01:34 PM
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I will beat this.

I have to push my way through this nasty physical part and then I have to work on other aspects of my recovery. I know the path because I was walking it before until I arrogantly thought I was "cured" and had it all made. But I didn't.

But I know where I went wrong and I'll get back up on the path and this time, won't make the same mistake. I have to learn from this or it's all for nothing. I was honest with my mentor too about what happened. So I am going to work around this and put the pieces back together.
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Old 09-13-2008, 01:40 PM
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That's a great plan Hope.
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