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Old 09-05-2008, 03:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Stop the Merry-Go-Round!


Hello everyone and glad to have stumbled on this site today. I have been trying to get sober for a few months now and found myself right back at square one after telling myself a couple of weeks ago that I was fine and could drink in moderation........Ha!! Has turned right back into daily wine drinking and in very large quantities. Drinking has been an issue for me for a long period of time, daily for almost two years, and I just feel sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just really want to get off this ride, put my feet on the ground, and keep them there this time. I know that I can stay sober if I just keep doing the work. There is no magical potion or secret cure. I just have to stay focused and keep reminding myself how destructive my drinking is and how good it feels to be sober.

So here I am and ready to rock and roll again..........
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Old 09-05-2008, 03:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome Greenbean! You've come to the right place!!!!!
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Old 09-05-2008, 03:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Old 09-05-2008, 03:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome to a very good place for support. CarolD said it best: you have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink. Once I "got the message" I was able to stay sober. And if a chronic relapser like me can stay sober, so can anyone!
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Old 09-05-2008, 03:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 09-05-2008, 04:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi again....
I just saw your other post
and am so pleased you are planning another sobriety.

Many of us had false starts before we actually
found solid recovery. For me....solid recovery
came when I began my AA Step work.

Do keep posting...we understand ...
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Old 09-05-2008, 04:35 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolD View Post
Hi again....
I just saw your other post
and am so pleased you are planning another sobriety.

Many of us had false starts before we actually
found solid recovery. For me....solid recovery
came when I began my AA Step work.

Do keep posting...we understand ...
Thanks Carol! I have never heard it put that way before and like the term "false start" rather than slip or relapse. I will keep reading, posting, and taking in all the support I can to do this right the second time.
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Old 09-05-2008, 04:39 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR Greenbean! Stick around, lots of miracles happen in recovery and there's no reason why you can't be one of them!
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Old 09-05-2008, 05:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Greenbean,

Welcome!

You are so right that there is no magic potion or cure for alcoholism. It takes hard work and devotion every day, but it is so worth it.
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Old 09-05-2008, 05:28 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hi Greenbean. I totally know how you are feeling because I have been there! Until April 21st, I could not get off the Merry Go Round of drinking either. I wanted to stop so bad, but I just didn't have the willingness to NOT drink and do whatever it took to stay sober.

On April 21st little did I know I was going to take my last drink. I went out to a bar and on the way home, got pulled over by the police for running a red light. I was arrested, handcuffed and thrown in the back of a police car for drunk driving. They took me to the local police station, then they transferred be to the City Police Station. When I got there the guards were making fun of me and there wasn't a darn thing I could do. They strip searched me, took my wedding rings and all my possessions and gave me an orange jump suit with "inmate" on the back. How has this happended to me? I am a 36 year old mother of 3 young children in a really nice neighborhood. I am married and have a college degree. I am a soccer mom for god sake. How in the heck could that have happened to me? It was rediculous how much better I thought I was up until then.

Well, boy did I find humility in jail! After being handcuffed to 2 prostitutes, they decided to transfer us all to a Woman's Work House. They put us on a bus with bars on the windows and drove to the work house. When we got there, we were again strip searched and giving plastic sandals, a plastic cup, a spoon, a blanket and a sheet. We walked in a straight line to the cell. When I got into the cell, there were 35 women yelling and screaming. There were metal bunk beds everywhere. There were 2 toilets in the middle of the room with no walls around them. 1 for using the bathroom and 1 for washing clothes.

I was devastated! I crumbled on to the floor between a crack addict and a heroin addict and sobbed on the dirty prison floor. I was shaking. I surely thought my life was over. I HAD HIT MY BOTTOM! I finally surrendered!

I was bailed out 18 hours later and I have been sober since! That is what it took for me to get sober! I really hope you never ever have to go through that. It was he11 ! I have completed 4 months of treatment, been to AA every day, worked the steps and I am in therapy. I could have never stayed sober without all of this stuff.

I really wish you the best Greenbean. Send me a Private message if you want to keep in touch.
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Old 09-05-2008, 05:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:50 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Old 09-06-2008, 11:16 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome Greenbean. Cute name and avatar also.
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Old 09-07-2008, 04:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Thanks for the warm welcome everyone...



Jen - That is a horrible story and one that I would never want to live through. I have been writing a list of all the reasons that my drinking is destructive and it just keeps getting longer and longer. This really needs to stop before I find myself having legal troubles to add to it. I think that my bottom has just been losing both my parents within a month of eachother and not having good relationships with my children. They both drink a lot as well and when we are together it is not pretty. I need to feel better and healthy so that I can enjoy the rest of my life.
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