pattyspaw

Hi I'm in need of some help with surrendering to my higher power, I want today to be my day 1 and I need to let go of the control

least

I was told that surrendering means you admit the power alcohol (or whatever your drug of choice) has over you. Not "fighting" it any more cause it will always win. Just to admit the hold it has over you and not keep on butting heads with your addiction.

I wish you the best in overcoming your addiction and living a new clean and sober life!

:ghug3

pattyspaw

thank for you reply, I want to be happy again and in my head I know AA is were I can find the way, this is such an ugly illness; I just cancelled my dental appointment and have been doing little things between reading posts to get ready for a meeting at 10am;

reginaterrae

Hi, Patty. I don't know if this will make sense, but if it does it might help. There are things you DO have power over, and things you DON'T have power over. You have the power to go to a meeting or pick up the phone or come here and read and post. You have the power to pick up the Big Book or other recovery literature. You have the power to pray to your Higher Power to help you to know the next best thing to do at each moment during the day, and just focus on that one next thing. Then your HP will take care of the outcome. What you DON'T have power over is the outcome of your efforts ... you just have to do the next right thing, get with people who have the life you want, listen, follow their advice, and trust.

You can't just BE in the Emerald City immediately, just because you want to get home to Kansas and Auntie Em ... but you will get there if you just follow the yellow brick road ... follow the yellow brick road ... follow the yellow brick road ... LOL. Keep it simple, show up, listen, reach out, pray. You'll get there, hon.

I see that you were here earlier, in 2005 ... it can be different this time, you can get free. Keep coming back.

Regina Terrae

Rowan

I'm glad you're going to a meeting. Often, I find my higher power at meetings when I close my eyes and listen to people share.
Stay in today as best you can, go to bed sober, and you'll have achieved your day 1.
Keep posting and let us be there for you.

pattyspaw

I am hearing the things I need to hear; I have bounced around a lot over the last few years and don't want to sink any lower than I already have; I am so glad I logged on this morning and that I poured out the booze;

CarolD

I'm glad you are looking for a better future.

De toxing from alcohol is scary ...can be dangerous too.
Do you have any experience with this?

tommyk

Keep coming back.

Your Higher Power is working for you.

pattyspaw

it has been a while since I had more than 3 days in row sober, which was 2 months ago; the last time I had a week was about 2 years ago; what should I expect?

nogard

As Rowan says sitting in meetings there is an energy that washes over me, congrats and Welcome

gravity

Fully accepted that I cannot control alcohol. I am powerless. One drink will always lead me back to my own Hell. I needed that last horrendous bender to remove any remaining doubt that I could control drinking.

Fully accepted that I cannot quit drinking on my own. Tried over and over. Again, no remaining doubt.

While I wasn't 100% certain that AA would work for me, I made the decision to move forward with the steps. A decision to turn my will over.

This is how I surrendered. It may sound a bit simplistic but it has been a very solid foundation. I am 8 1/2 months sober and the obsession has been removed. I believe that if I keep living the 12 steps, I will stay sober.

pattyspaw

my day one is almost done, it has been a good one; I cancelled my dental appointment and went to a meeting, went shopping with my sister and to lunch; i took it easy on me most of the day; it is going to be difficult to fall asleep tonight, but that's okay, I stayed sober

TryingSoHard

Congratulations!