surfn

hi,
it's been a month on the wagon and all is ok. for some years now i have been binge using instead of daily use, like twice a month to the point of blackout.
i have been in treatment once and sober for 2 years in aa a long time ago.
its been a long tough road that only we can understand as users.
this time im ready for some help from others regarding my addictions. im am also going to seek help for the mental side of things that would not be appropriate here in this forum. but i will say that in terms of disorders i have most of them and they are killing me.
on the other hand i have made a ton of money and am financially set.
now i just need sobriety and peace of mind and body.
heeeeeeelp ;0

surfn

dancinggirl

Congratulations on your one month!!! And welcome to the forum!

Rella927

Congrats on 1 month! That is great and Welcome to SR glad that you found us!

There is a lot of support here so please keep posting and check out the other forums too! There are stickies at the top of the forums filled with a wealth of information!

surfn

ty dance & rella

its such a relief to just type the words "help" im so into doing everything myself and not admitting im not doing a good job taking care of myself,arge

Bamboozle

Hey, surfn! One month, that's better than me! Keep reading and posting. This is a great place to rant about your addiction troubles.

doorknob

Welcome, Surfn! I hope to have a month.. um... in a month, LOL. I hear you about disorders. I have OCD at a fairly disabling level. It's part of what starting me drinkin' in the first place. It's never made me any money though.. still lookin' for a way to do that!

DK

P.S. There are some mental health boards down near the bottom of the forums page.

surfn

yeah door,
i have oed obsessive everything disorder and a few of the every-things are so embarrassing that im afraid of getting professional help.

Isaiah

Woo hoo! Congrats!

Don't be embarrassed about professional help, if that's what you think you need. Doctors are trained to think of mental cases like us as big, fleshy sudoku puzzles. They're too interested in setting you right than thinking what a freak you are. Also, keep in mind that these people made a choice to deal with mental problems day in and day out, and probably long got over a point where they'd regard you as weird in anyway.

surfn

ty isaiah
you make a good point.
im going to write in my journal a bit about the side of me that make me ashamed and depressed.
gutz gutz gutz is what its going to take,
im such a goof

doorknob

How did you manage to make some money with all that going on? I'm having a hard time even finding a job that I can do with the OCD stuff. I have always managed to find jobs and have worked most of my life (nothing that paid very well or had insurance), but we just moved to a very rural community so choices are slim. SSDI is starting to look like my only option.

Aysha

surfn

door,
without saying what i do i will say i am a well payed artist.
lucky to have never had a real job,lol

surfn

ty chi

LogCabin

Congratulations on the one month. That is great! And I understand your path. I had 2.5 years clean and sober, and then slipped again. But now I just care MORE about remaining clean and sober every day.

And money...a double edge sword. I don't have much, so to spend what I had was pretty bad for me. I am grateful now I have dug my way out a little and can walk down the street and buy things like white nectarines because I love them so much.

Doing the right things with our money builds our sobrity too. No matter how much or how little we have...we all have to learn to manage it. And it feels so good when we do.

I wish you peace and acceptance.

surfn

log,
congrats to you as well! thank you
i would give all i have away if it ment i would be cured and released from my torment, ya know

HopeTo180

surfn, It sounds like you know exactly what to work on. For me, much of my self destructive tenancies stemmed from childhood. We all have a subconscious pilot.

Congrats on your 1 month, keep us posted. Prayers 2

surfn

roger that hope! im in the slot 5x5, how copy

LogCabin

Thats the beautiful thing about life...You CAN be released from the addiction torment FOR FREE!. If you want it bad enough. the more time...the easier it gets. And having money is just the cherry on the cake. For then you can use it to makes some dreams come true...instead of self-destructing.

Travel, write, go to shows, dance, date...all that is waiting for you to put your recovery first, and foremost.

Jig

Hi Surfn, good to see you mate.

scaredykat

Hi surfn and welcome to SR. Congratulations on your 30 days. Keep up the good work. I also had almost 2 years in AA years ago. It's never to late to try again.

Barb