Familiar story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 4
Familiar story
hy guys
another newbie here-figured it was time to concede and reach out to people who may emphasise.
currently on another day one from cheap booze,probably about my 100th day 1 from goin out of AA a yearish ago-had 8 months thru daily contact with that crew,took about 2 weeks after goin out to resume my serial relapser role.
guess the obvious answer would be to hit the rooms again-i just cant do that right now.-i had nowhere else to turn before,like now,but there were more "rock bottom" type tangible reasons then;made my first call to AA hotline on the 7mile stumble back home from ER.vague recollections of bein tazered the night before,stomach pumpin then bein ushered out hospital by 5 security dudes.-cant remember what i did,guess i upset them as they gave me a good kickin when theyd dragged me out of cctv range.
Anyways,nothin so dramatic these days.-just me sittin in my little room day after day;usually make about 3 weeks, then back to square one.
After the initial 1 week euphoria subsides,reality bites and i just cant deal.
memories and ruminating on the relationships lost,friends and family washin their hands of me.-my nursing carreer gone to ****.its too overwhelming.
Beaten meth,oxys,h and an endless supply of weed over the years,this crappy drug just wont let me leave tho.
So,sorry for the rant,just wanted to say hi,amazin site from what ive read so far-guess im hopin touchin base with you guys is gonna give me a little booster
Peace, Roche
another newbie here-figured it was time to concede and reach out to people who may emphasise.
currently on another day one from cheap booze,probably about my 100th day 1 from goin out of AA a yearish ago-had 8 months thru daily contact with that crew,took about 2 weeks after goin out to resume my serial relapser role.
guess the obvious answer would be to hit the rooms again-i just cant do that right now.-i had nowhere else to turn before,like now,but there were more "rock bottom" type tangible reasons then;made my first call to AA hotline on the 7mile stumble back home from ER.vague recollections of bein tazered the night before,stomach pumpin then bein ushered out hospital by 5 security dudes.-cant remember what i did,guess i upset them as they gave me a good kickin when theyd dragged me out of cctv range.
Anyways,nothin so dramatic these days.-just me sittin in my little room day after day;usually make about 3 weeks, then back to square one.
After the initial 1 week euphoria subsides,reality bites and i just cant deal.
memories and ruminating on the relationships lost,friends and family washin their hands of me.-my nursing carreer gone to ****.its too overwhelming.
Beaten meth,oxys,h and an endless supply of weed over the years,this crappy drug just wont let me leave tho.
So,sorry for the rant,just wanted to say hi,amazin site from what ive read so far-guess im hopin touchin base with you guys is gonna give me a little booster
Peace, Roche
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Hi Roche, welcome to SR. Im an alkie as well and I dont go to AA meetings anymore however I do read AA literature and try to follow the program as best I can alone. I have 37 days sober today and holding in there. You will find lots of support and help here, so again, welcome. 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi Roche,
Welcome!
Yeah, dealing with the messes we've made during drinking periods is really, really tough. It kept me from stopping drinking for a long time. But, eventually I knew I was losing my health, my family, everything. I think the key is making changes. Stopping drinking is only the beginning. There is so much more work to do. But, you did it before and you can do it again. And, there's lots of support here!
Welcome!
Yeah, dealing with the messes we've made during drinking periods is really, really tough. It kept me from stopping drinking for a long time. But, eventually I knew I was losing my health, my family, everything. I think the key is making changes. Stopping drinking is only the beginning. There is so much more work to do. But, you did it before and you can do it again. And, there's lots of support here!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Hi Roche!
Welcome! I'm also in recovery from alcohol. I had my last drink some day before Thanksgiving week of last year. I truly don't remember the date as I had some relapses before so I was just not making special note of the day. I have attended AA but am not comfortable with it all. I also use Rational Recovery and and learning about SMART.
I look forward to seeing you online!
Lenina
Welcome! I'm also in recovery from alcohol. I had my last drink some day before Thanksgiving week of last year. I truly don't remember the date as I had some relapses before so I was just not making special note of the day. I have attended AA but am not comfortable with it all. I also use Rational Recovery and and learning about SMART.
I look forward to seeing you online!
Lenina
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 4
thanx guys,appreciated.
why dontu do meetins felly?i got involved wid a girl there(stupid i know),then had some big time fallouts with a coupla of the old school there.-got no issues with the philosophy, just bein around the people would trigger me right now.-do u work from the BB solo-thats what im contemplatin-congrats and respect on yr 37!
Thanx Anna, relate to that one,just stuck in this perpetual groundhog day.
just seems so unbearable to look at what ive done once the fog clears.
so much stuff i wanna do,yet the fallout has really limited my options.-still have my nursing registration, but its hard to find employement with 2 dui's and 2possession counts under yr belt.
Cant even do my voluntary work in Sri Lanka anymore-my record only lets me get a 28 day visa-all this stuff comes floodin back and it seems the only solution is oblivian.
Thanx 4 all u do here and the support guys
why dontu do meetins felly?i got involved wid a girl there(stupid i know),then had some big time fallouts with a coupla of the old school there.-got no issues with the philosophy, just bein around the people would trigger me right now.-do u work from the BB solo-thats what im contemplatin-congrats and respect on yr 37!
Thanx Anna, relate to that one,just stuck in this perpetual groundhog day.
just seems so unbearable to look at what ive done once the fog clears.
so much stuff i wanna do,yet the fallout has really limited my options.-still have my nursing registration, but its hard to find employement with 2 dui's and 2possession counts under yr belt.
Cant even do my voluntary work in Sri Lanka anymore-my record only lets me get a 28 day visa-all this stuff comes floodin back and it seems the only solution is oblivian.
Thanx 4 all u do here and the support guys
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
I understand what you're saying Roche.
The truth is, we often lose things that we can't get back. That's what our drinking does.
But, it doesn't mean you can't move forward again, maybe in a different direction, on a different path.
The truth is, we often lose things that we can't get back. That's what our drinking does.
But, it doesn't mean you can't move forward again, maybe in a different direction, on a different path.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
roche, welcome to day one again, and perhaps, it will be the last day one...
good wishes, and glad ya stil not giving up...
herd'a story tonight of a guy that was off'n'on like a light switch in a brothel...
he now has five years!
rz
good wishes, and glad ya stil not giving up...
herd'a story tonight of a guy that was off'n'on like a light switch in a brothel...
he now has five years!
rz
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