flgirl

Has anyone heard how she it is doing? Gees and I thought I had problems.

colagirl

Hi Least, I'm just getting here for the day so I missed this post earlier. I hope you are doing okay.

If you have a minor child you must qualify for public assistance, right? I would just start making calls. Call everyone! Even if they can't help you, they may have suggestions. Believe me when I tell you that sitting around angry at everyone and the situation will not improve it. Take action! At least you will be able to say you did everything you could.

My mom was evicted about 12 years ago after several years of active alcoholism (not that I'm saying that's why you're in this situation because I don't know). That's when she turned her life around and got sustained sobriety. Today she is back on her feet and doing great. So remember that no matter what happens, things have a way of working out.

Thinking of you... please take care of yourself.

flgirl

Sweetie,

PLEASE talk to me...You have helped me more than you ever know. I know you're pissed. I know you are panicky. Been there and done that. You are scaring me.

least

I wasn't refusing anyone's support, was just upset that I spoke my feelings and my post was removed. I am at rock bottom right now. I don't know where to turn. I am pressured from all sides and don't know what to do.

I also caved in to the bad feelings and drank last nite. So now I really feel like crap. I should know better but I guess I don't. I am just so overwhelmed by all the negative things going on I don't know what to do. I am afraid. I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there. Especially now that I ruined my sober week. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm sorry for upsetting everyone. Please accept my apologies. I didn't intend to upset anyone. I'm sorry.

Dee74

I don't know what to tell you S.

You keep going around in the same infinite loop.
I'm not mad - I understand - I was there myself for too many years to remember.

The one thing that got me out was.... I worked. I stopped making excuses, I stopped blaming everyone else, I finally (mentally) became an adult and took responsibility for my own life....

It was hard - it was the hardest thing I've ever done - I was the world's oldest teenager, but I grew up a lot in a very short time.

I didn't dwell on how hard and crappy stuff was - I just stayed focused.
I worked. I knew my life sucked - I figured the least I could do was try to change things before I gave up completely.

I didn't expect anything to change - but it did.

I realised I do matter, that I can make a difference to my circumstances and that I didn't have to be the perpetual victim....I started to live, rather than just reacting.

I hope you find something - either here on SR or elsewhere - that will give you the key to break the cycle S.

D

Rusty Zipper

least our alcoholism and addictions has also grown deep roots!

perhaps its time for a deep change...

good wishes least...

rz

Anna

Least, I'm glad to see you back.

I am praying that you will find the help you need.

least

I will attempt to uproot my alcoholism but don't want to uproot myself from my neighborhood. I am asking God to help me stop drinking - again. And am asking Him to help me straighten out this mess. God is the only one big enough to help me. I am so ashamed of myself for drinking last nite. I knew better but ignored it. So now I'm starting over. Today is day one and I'm starting all over. Please forgive me for throwing a fit and forgive me for drinking. I am sorry.

Ananda

And am asking Him to help me straighten out this mess


Least...so glad to see you so strong this morning and saying the above....my higher power helps me to straighten out the mess of my life! HP provides me with the power I need to do what I need to do to walk through my life....

Realy glad you didn't stay away and that you sound so ready to move forward.

:ghug3

ooops....hope that didn't hurt your head

Emimily

FEAR-
F*ck
Everything
And
Run

-or-

Face
Everything
And
Recover

Go to some meetings and share what's going on, about the fear and the shame and the etc. I guarantee you people there have been where you are. I have been where you are. My mom is STILL where you are. Sobriety is the way out.

I don't know whether you've got a big guy in the sky or not, but just in case I'll ask my big guy to watch out for ya. He's gotcha already anyway. Much love and respect.

tommyk

(Good post Emily... I will try and remember those FEAR meanings.)

Through Least's experiences I'm reminded that despite any hardships, I've got to deal with life on life's terms, and I cannot expect 'normal' people in society to continually support me.

My company rents an apartment to provide a residence for some people in recovery. There are a lot of rules, but foremost is that if the rent is not paid by the first of the month please do not be in the residence. We've each got to pay our own way. When people pay our way for us they are 'enabling' us to be irresponsible and not face life on life's terms. Even the NA meetings around here insist on paying 'rent' for the meeting place.

(Note: No offense to anyone... I often hear of people complaining that they don't have any money... but they can always manage to have cigarettes and/or alcohol. I know.. I used to be one of them.)

This post is just my opinion, I'll understand if not everyone agrees.

SoBearish

Hi Least.

Phew I really thought we'd seen the last of you for a minute. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.

Miracles can and do happen. However they are not always a direct hit like a bolt of lightening; sometimes you need to look around a bit to find them.

In my previous post I mentioned my recent inlaws problem. My wife got a call from her Dad last Oct. He said "I need $33,000 in 2 days or your Mother and I will be out on the street". I was out of work and in debt and we were barely holding it together so the money wasn't coming from us.

We searched online, met with social services workers, called every organizaton we could find and after 6 long months of phone calls paperwork and court dates we got their mess taken care of.

I don't care if that you drank last night and neither should you. It happened, you're back here today.

See if you can make one phone call that might help your situation and take it from there.


Sending you my prayers and support.

Rowan

Least,

I'm glad you are willing to start over, and I'm glad that you've got Him to lean on. Do the work, and He will give you strength to persevere.

Recovery is possible, but you've got to work for it, babe. Be willing to dig down deep within yourself, on your hands and knees, and JUST DON'T DRINK. Get involved in a recovery program so that you've got face to face support. You are not alone, even if it feels that way.

Daddio

Hey Least. There have been a bunch of good posts directed at you. Sometimes when we ask God for help, and get it, we really don't see it. I have have seen him send you answer after answer to your desperation. But like most, you seem to be waiting for Him to walk into your living room and pull you out of this mess. My precious Sister, you might be waiting for a while.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. When I'm in that tiny skiff in the middle of the ocean amidst a raging storm and I ask for God's help - you can bet your a-- that the whole time I'm asking I'm also rowing like a MoFo towards the shore! Are you rowing, or are you waiting on the rescue team?

And one more thing. Part of recovery sometimes includes financial recovery. And with financial recovery one MUST take care of the four basics.

Food
Clothing
Transportation
Shelter

Sorry babe, but booze ain't part of the food pyramid!

And transportation could mean having enough for the Metro to get to work.

I'm not sure what your disablility is, but unless it's totally dabilitating, could you have landed a sucky job for the last month to help you start paying your rent. Just a thought.

Remember. Are you rowing or waiting...

Sent only with love, compassion and understanding from a Brother.

warrens

S,

The complexity of your situation is great. We all accept that and many of us share such complexity in our own lives.

It is all too easy to become "paralyzed" by it all. Thus, the wish to hide.

Please do try to simplify. Isolate a few "must do's" and "must don'ts." It is difficult to focus on spiritual enlightenment and growth when the wolf is at the door and our belly is empty.

I know one "don't" for me. Don't drink. Not because it will make me a "bad boy," or "weak," or shameful. No, I cannot drink for one very selfish reason: It will make all the bad things in my life worse, and all the good things bad. We do know that, do we not? At this point you may wish to stop judging yourself and ascribing adjectives to your drinking. Be a verb. "I won't drink because I will..." or "I won't drink because it will..." What will HAPPEN if we drink? Forget all the moral and ethical stuff, what will HAPPEN or NOT HAPPEN if I drink is enough to scare the bejeezus out of me. The guaranteed stuff.

Also, Divine intervention, etc may be a key to your situation, I don't know. But I've heard that god works "through" us, not "for" us. I can't afford to hire god to fix my ills. But I can allow god to help me with my DIY project. And in order for that to happen, I have to come out from hiding.

God is here, S. Really. The god you are looking for is right here working his butt off. It's happening, just open your eyes. If god were not working here, why would so many strangers seek to offer you aid and support? I'm sure there is a biblical parable here, I'm just not the guy to know what it is. Perhaps someone can help me out there...

Simplify. "Paralysis by Analysis." Be a verb. Do be's and don't be's.

You are loved by strangers, S. Love yourself. Please?

warren

flgirl

Least sweetie,

Please know that I am here for you and care a whole bunch! You can do this!! I hope you understand my comment about my thinking that I had problems referred to the fact that I am beginning to understand that many other people are in much worse situations today than I am, and maybe I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, get over it and consider myself lucky. I am here for you, honey!

Love you!

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Least,

HP is always there. But, it/he/she won't hand it(what YOU want) to you on a platter.

Positivity brings positivity back to it. Do the next right thing and everything will work out THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO. Don't ask for yourself..ask for strength to accept whatever may come. Ask for guidance in what to do next.

Can I use anymore cliches?? I sure can..but that is how I try to live my life. Some days I do it better than others, but slowly..life is becoming peaceful for me.

Big hugs,

Karen

nogard

Seems to me that I need to focus on my recovery 1st, then other things as it don't matter where I live if I am dead, maimed or locked up.

Reach out to other addicts and when they offer heklp accept even if you head says &^%^** just do it and be alive again.

Kevin

BUTTERFLY-7

least there is a saying were I come from
that God Can't Speak more Clear than a Rooster sings
with all the Support & advices you have receive
Please don't get mad Remember once I told you
a true Friend tells you what you need to here
not what we want to here...........


"The Drowning Man"

There was once Upon a Time a Man who was Drowning
he was Praying for God to Save him, Then came a Team
of Life Guards and he refuse there help, Then they trough
him some Life Savers he refuse it to, Then Came the
Ambulance he refuses it to, Then came the Firefighters
and Guess What he refuses it too....He told them off
and scream out loud to Go away that he was waiting
for God to Save Him......Now Do the Math.........:ghug2

least

I will take all your loving advice to heart. I am still looking for work. No leads yet. Got a call yesterday from a lady I met in rehab. I could tell from the way she talked that she was drunk. It made me feel bad. I don't want to be like that, but I have been. So the excuses stop here.

I've been quite sick the last couple days. Some sort of flu-thing I might have gotten from my daughter. So am taking it easy til I feel better.

Thank you all again for caring!:ghug3