fallingdown

Least I know that voice you're talking about, I have heard it myself usually when I have a couple days sober under my belt and start contemplating reality, it rears its ugly head. I think it's the brain's panic response to dealing with problems without drinking them away. Right now it seems you are stuck in a cycle that many of us can relate to - sobering up, panicking, drinking again, feeling remorseful and then doing it all over again. I made it through the panic and drank again when I had to deal with very strong, negative feelings toward a situation I could not control. This is a learning experience for both of us, and as we go along we will learn the areas of danger and the areas of goodness that we need to stay focused on.

I've told you before and I have no problem telling you as many times as it takes, YOU, the world, your children, your dogs and SR would certainly NOT be better off without you. God has you here for a reason and if you don't stick around it would be a damn shame, not just for you but a lot of other people too who can learn and find help through your experiences.

As far as your landlady goes, even if she's heartless try to keep the lines of communication open with her. If you don't want to move then you have to try to keep her placated because right now, until you get some money coming in, she is the one that has control over whether you get to stay or go. So try not to take your frusterations out on her and remember, "it's just business, not personal" as far as she's concerned. Pray to God that you will find a solution to this situation without turning to the most final, and painful, solution of all. I will be praying too.

hugs,
FD

Klynn33

I hope you've made some calls or managed to get this sorted out. We're all sending good thoughts that everything works out.

((Least))

Impurrfect

(((Least)))

Lots of good advice above. You know drinking is only going to make the situation worse.

Sending you more hugs and prayers!

Amy

least

I'm not allowed to espress my true feelings or my post will be removed. So I'll pretend everything is just fine. Altho it's not fine at all. I will just pray that my landlord will wait for my disability to be approved. Other than that, just ignore this plea. I'll make it on my own, or not make it, who gives a sh!t.

and yes, my landlord is heartless, but who cares? I'd be better off praying for a miracle - BY MYSELF. Forget I even asked.

stone

Huh?

Klynn33

I don't know if a post already got removed, or if it's assumed it will be. in that case, I have an idea on what it did/will contain.
and I'm worried.

least

just like I said: for get I even asked. this will be solved by Divine intervention or it won't be solved at all. Either way, I'm sorry I interrrupted everyone's day by asking for help FROM THE HEART, I'm sorry I even asked. forget it. Just forget it, ok? I'll not be so truthful next time, I'll just swallow it. fukk this

tommyk

A couple of posts were removed due to some subject matter that some others here could possibly find a bit un-nerving.

tommyk

Least.. do you have a sponsor?

If so, please call him/her. If you don't have a sponsor maybe call someone else.

Krissy41

That is is a good idea tommy.

Please least don't take it to heart that something you wrote was removed it was for weak people (like me, I don't want to point figures that's why I said me ;-) ) that the mods do that, not because of the pain you are going through, please call someone you trust and talk this through.

Klynn33

little un nerving is an understatement.........I feel sick worrying now. What I saw were posts of support and encouragement, so I don't know why the feeling that no one's trying to help.

least

I'll not call anyone as I don't want to "disturb" anyone with my problems. FORGET IT. I don't want to offend or trigger anyone. I'm sorry I live in the real (ugly) world. I'll ask no one for their help. please delete this ****. that's all it is, is ****.

Dee74

ring some government agencies S - there must be rent help in the USA...there is here...talk to your landlord again...if you've been there 19 years there must be some rappor surely? some good will?

not doing anything is silly - it's self defeating and it'll lead you back into the abyss.

don't panic. You going mental, or drinking, is not gonna help anyone.

I was in much this same situation last year - I didn't wait for divine intervention - I rang numbers, I canvassed anybody and everybody - sure it sucked - sure I hated asking for charity...but it worked out.

this is the time to act. Fall apart tomorrow

seriously - you're an adult. You can do this. We all do.
It's life S.

D

stone

Least, I know what you are going through is very stress-full, I know you are scared and anxious, if some posts got removed, it makes no difference to how you are cared for here, ok?
We DO care.

tommyk

Least - you are frustrated, angry, and feeling singled out for persecution.

I know, because I've been there. I've thrown my share of tantrums.

Just because we aren't to discuss certain sensitive subjects here does not mean you can't air your problems and feelings. Don't overinflate the issue.

Do you have a sponsor?

Klynn33

I won't make myself any more sick about this than I already am........
you know I've tried to offer support in the only way I could - by being here for you. You've chosen to not accept and I understand. I apologize that I wasn't able to do more.


Take care, I really hope things get better for you.

SoosieQ

least~ I have never met you, but I have noticed that you are always giving good advice to others, or at (least) a thanks to things I relate to. You have been a great support to me.

I had a similar thing happen to me two years ago. In my case, I ended up having to move, although people are right that the legal process takes time. Leaving broke my heart. But, looking back, it really propelled me into a much healthier situation. I too, had to work really hard to get repairs done (leaky roof, water on the floor, mold on the walls).

You may be growling at those telling you to breathe, but really, what else can you do? Please be kind to yourself. It will all work out, cliche as that sounds. Besides, we need you here!

SoosieQ

least~your recent posts break my heart. Don't go away. People here want to help and support you.

BUTTERFLY-7

I know exactly How U feel least I'm going trough It 2
I wish I could tell U something: But just Breath, go some were
where U could sore out your toughs, and feelings, and emotions,
Don't make no decisions with out haven't your mind clear

thats all I could tell U thats what has been working out 4'r me for now

Anna

Least, please feel free to PM any of the members who are supporting you here, and of course likewise, any members can PM you and discuss anything that you wish to discuss.