Am I an addict?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3
Am I an addict?
Hi everyone. I'm new and here's my story.
I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc about 15 years ago, been in a head on car crash (totaled the car) and I unload trucks for a living. About the same time I was diagnosed as Bipolar.
I've been off and on with pain meds for YEARS now. About 9 mos ago I really hurt my back and neck at work. Was prescribed Flexeril and Percs. The flexeril turned me into a zombie. So I stopped taking them. I took 6 percs a day for about three weeks then down to 3-4 consistantly and without change for almost 8 mos now with excellent results. My phsyc even said at the last appointment "I will likey review my diagnoses of Bipolar. I admit that I didn't take the chronic pain issue seriously but you've shown an incredible improvement. I think you should remain on the Percocet AS PRESCRIBED!"
WELL...that's the problem. The Dr. I've been seeing refuses to hear anything I say. Everytime in the past that I said "I REALLY do require 3-4 per day to achieve comfort...." He prescribes less. So I've learned VERY quickly to say "sure thats great" when he says 1 1/2 tabs daily.
Problem is I take three then run out and suffer until it's time to see him again.
After my Phsyciatrist told me what he thought I raced to the Dr to tell him I'm NOT nuts and this is what I need. He says "I'm not comfortable I'm weaning you off!" I TRIED to explain that he never listened and I really had no options in that case. That my Phsyc said we're all good here and that he felt good about it. No good. I'm weaning. No listening no hearing!
Personally it changed my life. My understanding of addiction (being an alcoholic) is that one always LOSES everything. Ones ability to cope erodes daily. Without pain MY life immensely improved! I began to renew a relationship with my wife. My son said "He loved to be around me. I got promoted and raises. I lost nearly 80 pounds...I'm fit...the list goes on.
I feel like I finally caught a glimpse of sun, just started to get out of the hole and WHAM...someone kicked me back into the hole!
I find it difficult to face the reality that I will go back to just existing. Not being able to play with my boy, barley scraping through work etc.
I have an appointment booked to see the phsyciatrist again to help me figure out what the heck is wrong, but I don't hold high hopes.
I never took the stuff to get high, never took more than I needed to stop the ENDLESS nagging pins and needles and now I feel like I'm being punished for doing what I had to do!
So....am I an addict....a whiner...what? Someone help me figure this out...please.
I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc about 15 years ago, been in a head on car crash (totaled the car) and I unload trucks for a living. About the same time I was diagnosed as Bipolar.
I've been off and on with pain meds for YEARS now. About 9 mos ago I really hurt my back and neck at work. Was prescribed Flexeril and Percs. The flexeril turned me into a zombie. So I stopped taking them. I took 6 percs a day for about three weeks then down to 3-4 consistantly and without change for almost 8 mos now with excellent results. My phsyc even said at the last appointment "I will likey review my diagnoses of Bipolar. I admit that I didn't take the chronic pain issue seriously but you've shown an incredible improvement. I think you should remain on the Percocet AS PRESCRIBED!"
WELL...that's the problem. The Dr. I've been seeing refuses to hear anything I say. Everytime in the past that I said "I REALLY do require 3-4 per day to achieve comfort...." He prescribes less. So I've learned VERY quickly to say "sure thats great" when he says 1 1/2 tabs daily.
Problem is I take three then run out and suffer until it's time to see him again.
After my Phsyciatrist told me what he thought I raced to the Dr to tell him I'm NOT nuts and this is what I need. He says "I'm not comfortable I'm weaning you off!" I TRIED to explain that he never listened and I really had no options in that case. That my Phsyc said we're all good here and that he felt good about it. No good. I'm weaning. No listening no hearing!
Personally it changed my life. My understanding of addiction (being an alcoholic) is that one always LOSES everything. Ones ability to cope erodes daily. Without pain MY life immensely improved! I began to renew a relationship with my wife. My son said "He loved to be around me. I got promoted and raises. I lost nearly 80 pounds...I'm fit...the list goes on.
I feel like I finally caught a glimpse of sun, just started to get out of the hole and WHAM...someone kicked me back into the hole!
I find it difficult to face the reality that I will go back to just existing. Not being able to play with my boy, barley scraping through work etc.
I have an appointment booked to see the phsyciatrist again to help me figure out what the heck is wrong, but I don't hold high hopes.
I never took the stuff to get high, never took more than I needed to stop the ENDLESS nagging pins and needles and now I feel like I'm being punished for doing what I had to do!
So....am I an addict....a whiner...what? Someone help me figure this out...please.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Confused- I wish I had an answer for you. I too have to take pain meds and do take them as prescribed. Somtimes I worry if I might be addicted to them, even though I only take as directed. My thoughts are if I couldn't drink responsibly "Ever" why can I take pills responsibly?!?!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Hi and Welcome,
I understand that your situation is difficult for you. But, no, being an alcoholic or addict does not mean you always lose everything, definitely not. Many people are high-functioning alcoholics and work everyday, have very good jobs and 'normal' lives. Some addicts do lose everything, it just depends on the person.
No one can tell you whether or not you're an addict, but you. I think some drs do have the belief that people should not take medication like yours for the long-term. Chronic pain is a very difficult thing to deal with. My only suggestion is that you try to find another dr or maybe a pain clinic.
I understand that your situation is difficult for you. But, no, being an alcoholic or addict does not mean you always lose everything, definitely not. Many people are high-functioning alcoholics and work everyday, have very good jobs and 'normal' lives. Some addicts do lose everything, it just depends on the person.
No one can tell you whether or not you're an addict, but you. I think some drs do have the belief that people should not take medication like yours for the long-term. Chronic pain is a very difficult thing to deal with. My only suggestion is that you try to find another dr or maybe a pain clinic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3
See that's the problem. I wasn't taking them as prescribed because what was prescribed was not enough. I guess I look at it as "it's MY body...I have a pretty good take on how much I'm affected." I was made to see the Phsyciatrist BASED on the Dr's concerns about addiction. Once the Phyciatrist said "fine" I though it would be all sunshine...then the clouds. I really don't understand WHY he is refusing to listen!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3
Very good points indeed! Thanks for that!
I have also been to pain clinics and specialists all of whom had differing opinions on the meds.
I have done physio (still do) specific excersises from specialists etc. ALL work to a degree, as my phsyc said "who knows just how truly bad it would be IF you stopped the excercises and physio!"
I'll know more this coming Monday when I meet once again to tell my Phsyc that the Dr. slammed the door on this.
Thanks everyone! I'm reading a lot here and gaining great insight.
I'm really feeluing that I'm NOT addicted.
P.S- I DID stop taking them three days ago, voluntarily to make a point. I certainly felt withdrawl, but able to cope with that...it's the immense discomfort that I have in my lower neck that kills and sucks the life out of me. I've been able to resist the pills because I want the Dr. to see me the way it is when I'm back 20 steps.
I have also been to pain clinics and specialists all of whom had differing opinions on the meds.
I have done physio (still do) specific excersises from specialists etc. ALL work to a degree, as my phsyc said "who knows just how truly bad it would be IF you stopped the excercises and physio!"
I'll know more this coming Monday when I meet once again to tell my Phsyc that the Dr. slammed the door on this.
Thanks everyone! I'm reading a lot here and gaining great insight.
I'm really feeluing that I'm NOT addicted.
P.S- I DID stop taking them three days ago, voluntarily to make a point. I certainly felt withdrawl, but able to cope with that...it's the immense discomfort that I have in my lower neck that kills and sucks the life out of me. I've been able to resist the pills because I want the Dr. to see me the way it is when I'm back 20 steps.
Originally Posted by 51anna 
Hi and Welcome,
I understand that your situation is difficult for you. But, no, being an alcoholic or addict does not mean you always lose everything, definitely not. Many people are high-functioning alcoholics and work everyday, have very good jobs and 'normal' lives. Some addicts do lose everything, it just depends on the person.
No one can tell you whether or not you're an addict, but you. I think some drs do have the belief that people should not take medication like yours for the long-term. Chronic pain is a very difficult thing to deal with. My only suggestion is that you try to find another dr or maybe a pain clinic.
I understand that your situation is difficult for you. But, no, being an alcoholic or addict does not mean you always lose everything, definitely not. Many people are high-functioning alcoholics and work everyday, have very good jobs and 'normal' lives. Some addicts do lose everything, it just depends on the person.
No one can tell you whether or not you're an addict, but you. I think some drs do have the belief that people should not take medication like yours for the long-term. Chronic pain is a very difficult thing to deal with. My only suggestion is that you try to find another dr or maybe a pain clinic.
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