Emily2002

Horton and Ruch... WELCOME.

Hang in there and keep posting. Read as much as you can.

And if you slip, keep trying. I've been on and off here for about a year and a half, and every time I've returned I've felt welcomed and more empowered to beat this.

27 days this time and still counting. A day -- sometimes a minute -- at a time.

horton

my house mate just came in stumbling, falling down drunk. He gets worse than i ever did but somehow he doesn't make bad decisions that land him in jail. At least up until now he doesn't. I am kinda jealous.

Not a whole lot of my friends know that I am doing this, or trying to do this anyway. I keep getting the drunken text messages. Maybe I should have come clean with them. Just couldn't handle telling all of them today. I talked to my mom told her all about it but, that was about all I could muster

Emily2002

A step at a time. You're being good to yourself right now by making the effort, believe me, and YOU are worth it.

That's cool that you told your mom. It's hard to tell people at first, I think. At least it was for me.

The first two weeks or so I had trouble sleeping, and it seems that many other have experienced the same. Hang in there, ((((Horton))))!!!!

ruch

Hey Horton. How's it going today? Getting any better?

horton

yeah man it is. thanks for asking. Got outside for a bit just to walk to the corner market. Needed some coffee. I end up seeing the girl that lives a couple doors up from me she jokingly asked me about the mirror and damage to my new car and if I got hit. embarrassingly i told her that I did it and i had been drinking. Out of no where she tells me a story how she woke up in a kiddie pool with bongos and a tricycle 5 years ago and hasn't had a drink since. I can't help but think that it wasn't just a coincidence that I ran into her this morning. She cheered me up a little bit with her story and the fact that I see how well she is doing and that she has pulled her life together and managed to stay clean for 5 years. We talked for a few minutes and went on our way but, i feel a lot better today. Still an emotional mess but I am ready and kind of excited now. Looking forward to staying sober and hoping it lasts.

How are you holding up? Did you eat your way out of the pizza barricade yet?

PG1968

Horton,
What I did at the early beginning was focus on something else I was really into, for me it was my music and Graphic Design. I also went to alot of meetings and got a sponsor quickly. It can be just a temporary sponsor for now, just someone you can to talk to whom you can relate a too. Also, get numbers from the folks at the meetings. I have found that this has helped me.

ruch

I don't know how much you have or haven't looked into a program to work but I struggle mightily with fitting myself into AA because of the whole higher power issue. But I do believe in Karma. The few times I got clean and stayed that way for a while I did notice things happened that obviously "happen for a reason". You going down to the store and having a conversation with that girl...I have a difficult time throwing that into the conincidence category. Seems to me that it was meant to happen. You were struggling and out of no where you find a reason for hope. How awesome is that? Good luck with everything. Keep on keeping on.

Me, I'm much better today. Still haven't ventured into the world but don't feel the same level of anxiety at the thought of it either. The truth is it's too dam hot outside today and I enjoy my couch inside my air conditioned home. Tomorrow is Monday, then I'll have no choice but to venture out.

Taking5

Horton,

That is your higher power at work IMHO.

One local group refers to these coincidences as a "God shot".

CarolD

Perhaps God is in charge of Karma?
Or Karma is allowing God conciousness?

Good to see you both are making progress
ruch and Horton

Ananda

Hi Ruch, one of my higher powers is Karma (the law of cause and effect). I too choose not to use a "god" as my higher power. However, for me the way to recovery has been the religious/spiritual path that I am on and the program of AA with the 12 steps.

It's so good to see the two of you here working on recovery from this disease. You might check out the 2 weeks and under thread as well as the rest of SR. There are a number of people going through the same things that you are.

Keep on posting !!!!:ghug2

ruch

Thanks Carol and Ananda. Yes, I have been giving lots of thought about Karma actually being my higher power. I still have alot of work to do in order to fit it in so that it makes sense in my head. When I read the text of the Big Book and take it too literally I have a very difficult time relating to it.

Ananda

It has helped me to listen to the experience that is being described, rather than the words that are used to describe it. It also helped me that I was 4 weeks sober via treatment before I attended an AA meeting in my home town. My mind is much more open and clear when I have gotten through the withdrawl process. That first 4 weeks spent just trying to get some sort of plan for sobriety and for dealing with the life things that would not wait and would effect my sobriety.

Keep posting!

horton

made it through one more day fending off the temptation. thanks everyone

Ananda

That's great! get a really good nights sleep

Klynn33

YEA to one more day!!!!!!!!! Good for you Horton. It can only get easier right????

horton

Unfortunately i missed posting yesterday. Turned out to be a good day. I even went to the gym. The girl I met while drinking heavily still wants to be around and she decided to quit as well. I feel like I am bragging but I feel like a million bucks today.

Klynn33

ah -that's awesome! maybe that's the motivation you need to keep going right now - I hope so! keep us posted

SoBearish

Great job Horton!!