First Time to AA - What Do I Expect?
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Boston Massachusetts
Posts: 41
First Time to AA - What Do I Expect?
I am going to my first AA meeting on Wednesday at noon. What should I expect? It's labeled an "ODNS" (open discussion, non smoking)
I am an atheist to the core, but I really need to meet people who are in my situation and can help keep me motivated. Is this the best place to find a sponsor and make 'sober' friends?
I've tried to get sober on my own before, and I know now that I need more. I'm hoping AA will give me the extra push I need.
I am an atheist to the core, but I really need to meet people who are in my situation and can help keep me motivated. Is this the best place to find a sponsor and make 'sober' friends?
I've tried to get sober on my own before, and I know now that I need more. I'm hoping AA will give me the extra push I need.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Boston Massachusetts
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by 51anna 
Hi Kiwi,
I hope the meeting goes well for you and I'm glad that you're moving forward with your recovery.
You can also make sober friends here at SR!
I hope the meeting goes well for you and I'm glad that you're moving forward with your recovery.
You can also make sober friends here at SR!
do people from here at SR ever meet in real life? (i'm part of another forum, and i've made many friends there and met many of them)
Since I'm only 24 a lot of my social life revolves around meeting people out for drinks, and things like that. i really dont have any friends or family that DONT drink, and i'm not sure how im going to go about avoiding alcohol with all of them. there is such a stigma with addiction, that i dont even know where to begin.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
If this group uses The Lords Prayer at closing
and many do...
you may not choose to participate.
You could simply leave or do nothing.
Most likely...there will be others not praying.
Other than that....you are there to listen.
Enjoy the meeting...
and many do...
you may not choose to participate.
You could simply leave or do nothing.
Most likely...there will be others not praying.
Other than that....you are there to listen.
Enjoy the meeting...
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Kiwi,
I have found AA to be such a source of strength and wisdom for me. I am a spiritual person but not a religious person. Your meeting will most likely have tables and chairs set in a circle or big square. One person will start off the meeting by saying their name and reading something from the Big Book (AA's accumulated book of wisdom - very powerful stuff). I think every meeting I've been to has gone around the room and we all said our names and addictions. They might ask if there are any new people and they might ask you if you want a chip to symbolize you intend to stay sober. I forget what it's called - a 24 hour chip, maybe? Anyway, then the leader will probably read something like I said and then they will open it up for discussion of what they read or whatever's on your mind. You don't have to talk - you can just say that you're not wanting to talk yet and they won't push you at all. Or, of course, you can say what's going on for you or respond to the reading.
Even if you are not crazy about the meeting or the people there, you should accept any literature they have because you can read it on your own and might find it helpful.
I do think it would be difficult to be an aethiest and be completely comfortable in some AA meetings whereas others would be fine. But you should know that when AA talks about God it really is however you chose to envision God. It doesn't have to be a God of the afterlife. Or from the Bible or anything. It is whatever speaks to you. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the spiritual aspect of AA, before you quit it, read the beginning of the Big Book, especially the chapter titled "We the Agnostic" - I think that's what it's called. I don't have it in front of me....
I'm sorry this is so long. I'm rushing and I just wanted to give you a small sense of what an AA meeting is like so you maybe will feel more comfortable on Wednesday. Good for you for deciding to go. That's a huge step - asking for help.
Let us know how it goes and how you're doing.
- MLE
I have found AA to be such a source of strength and wisdom for me. I am a spiritual person but not a religious person. Your meeting will most likely have tables and chairs set in a circle or big square. One person will start off the meeting by saying their name and reading something from the Big Book (AA's accumulated book of wisdom - very powerful stuff). I think every meeting I've been to has gone around the room and we all said our names and addictions. They might ask if there are any new people and they might ask you if you want a chip to symbolize you intend to stay sober. I forget what it's called - a 24 hour chip, maybe? Anyway, then the leader will probably read something like I said and then they will open it up for discussion of what they read or whatever's on your mind. You don't have to talk - you can just say that you're not wanting to talk yet and they won't push you at all. Or, of course, you can say what's going on for you or respond to the reading.
Even if you are not crazy about the meeting or the people there, you should accept any literature they have because you can read it on your own and might find it helpful.
I do think it would be difficult to be an aethiest and be completely comfortable in some AA meetings whereas others would be fine. But you should know that when AA talks about God it really is however you chose to envision God. It doesn't have to be a God of the afterlife. Or from the Bible or anything. It is whatever speaks to you. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the spiritual aspect of AA, before you quit it, read the beginning of the Big Book, especially the chapter titled "We the Agnostic" - I think that's what it's called. I don't have it in front of me....
I'm sorry this is so long. I'm rushing and I just wanted to give you a small sense of what an AA meeting is like so you maybe will feel more comfortable on Wednesday. Good for you for deciding to go. That's a huge step - asking for help.
Let us know how it goes and how you're doing.
- MLE
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Boston Massachusetts
Posts: 41
Thanks, MLE. I'm willing to give it a shot.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. So this time I'm mixing it up a bit and trying something new
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. So this time I'm mixing it up a bit and trying something new
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by kiwi22
do people from here at SR ever meet in real life? (i'm part of another forum, and i've made many friends there and met many of them)
Yes some of us met up last year with our bikes. We are planning to try again this year.
I live just south of Boston and we had a person from as far away as TX meet up with the group when we met out by Indy last year.
Boston has some great AA meetings. If you don't feel you fit in at one, there are plenty more to try. There is a 24 hour AA club over in Malden that I know of as well. Have not been there but a few people I know have gone.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
backs against the wall and you still doubt God
Warmth and understanding. You'll be around your peers. People that want to help you obtain sobriety and serenity without expecting anything in return.
To keep this gift, we have to give it away
Warmth and understanding. You'll be around your peers. People that want to help you obtain sobriety and serenity without expecting anything in return.
To keep this gift, we have to give it away
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
AA is a good place to meet people and they have an understanding of what you are going through.
I attend smart recovery, it is a self help group. Some people I know attend both groups.
Wish you the best.
I attend smart recovery, it is a self help group. Some people I know attend both groups.
Wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: California
Posts: 358
Hi Kiwi,
Thanks for the question, and I'm glad you're going. It will be helpful one way or the other.
Some advice:
-- About five minutes into the meeting, they'll say "Are there any newcomers here?" Go ahead and raise your hand and say "Hi I'm ______, and this is my first meeting." People will say "Hi ______" and then they'll give you a round of applause. Trust me: you'll feel a lot better than if you say nothing. Of course, you CAN say nothing, no problem. But you'll feel better if you do.
-- When people talk, just be there and bear witness to what they have to say. You're doing them a favor by simply listening to their stories. You don't have to feel at all like you have to share. Just concentrate on doing them the favor of listening, and that will take a lot of internal pressure off of you. I think you'll find their stories entertaining.
-- At the end of the meeting, everyone will get in a circle and hold hands. Go ahead and do that. If you don't want to say the prayer, then don't. No worries.
-- After the meeting, stick around for ten minutes. Help them put away the chairs or break things down. Someone will come up to you and introduce themselves. Just say "Hi, I'm checking things out." They won't pressure you or anything, it's just their (our) job to reach out to newcomers. Again, you're doing them a favor by talking to them. If someone offers a phone number, take it. You don't have to give them your phone number.
I think you'll have a good time, and you'll see if it's for you or not. Let us know how it goes!
-- NM
Thanks for the question, and I'm glad you're going. It will be helpful one way or the other.
Some advice:
-- About five minutes into the meeting, they'll say "Are there any newcomers here?" Go ahead and raise your hand and say "Hi I'm ______, and this is my first meeting." People will say "Hi ______" and then they'll give you a round of applause. Trust me: you'll feel a lot better than if you say nothing. Of course, you CAN say nothing, no problem. But you'll feel better if you do.
-- When people talk, just be there and bear witness to what they have to say. You're doing them a favor by simply listening to their stories. You don't have to feel at all like you have to share. Just concentrate on doing them the favor of listening, and that will take a lot of internal pressure off of you. I think you'll find their stories entertaining.
-- At the end of the meeting, everyone will get in a circle and hold hands. Go ahead and do that. If you don't want to say the prayer, then don't. No worries.
-- After the meeting, stick around for ten minutes. Help them put away the chairs or break things down. Someone will come up to you and introduce themselves. Just say "Hi, I'm checking things out." They won't pressure you or anything, it's just their (our) job to reach out to newcomers. Again, you're doing them a favor by talking to them. If someone offers a phone number, take it. You don't have to give them your phone number.
I think you'll have a good time, and you'll see if it's for you or not. Let us know how it goes!
-- NM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
1st AA meeting huh, well have you seen the initiation scene from Old School or Animal House?
AA is nothing like that. I was very nervous and uncomfortable at first, sat in the back, didn't say anything. But I did do 1 thing, I introduced myself when they asked "are there any new comers" and you know what, everyone said "welcome". Now that is a pretty good feeling when you walk into a situation as uncomfortable as that.
I did not have to say anything else that meeting and didn't say much for a few weeks but I did keep going back. Eventually I started to enjoy the people, I participated, helped clean and now open meetings.
Sobriety can be difficult to start with, but AA provides a good safe and supportive environment with people who are willing to share their experience, strength and hope with you. They may even be experiencing some of the same things that you are going through. Some you will agree with and some you will not agree with. I would suggest that you keep an open mind, listen, take what you want from the meeting and leave the rest at the door.
You will hear people talk about God, this is their higher power, it doesn't have to be yours. The AA Group can act as a higher power. Higher power is simply something greater than yourself that can lead you back to sanity/sobriety.
I hope that provides some insight, good luck with the meeting and let us know what you think.
AA is nothing like that. I was very nervous and uncomfortable at first, sat in the back, didn't say anything. But I did do 1 thing, I introduced myself when they asked "are there any new comers" and you know what, everyone said "welcome". Now that is a pretty good feeling when you walk into a situation as uncomfortable as that.
I did not have to say anything else that meeting and didn't say much for a few weeks but I did keep going back. Eventually I started to enjoy the people, I participated, helped clean and now open meetings.
Sobriety can be difficult to start with, but AA provides a good safe and supportive environment with people who are willing to share their experience, strength and hope with you. They may even be experiencing some of the same things that you are going through. Some you will agree with and some you will not agree with. I would suggest that you keep an open mind, listen, take what you want from the meeting and leave the rest at the door.
You will hear people talk about God, this is their higher power, it doesn't have to be yours. The AA Group can act as a higher power. Higher power is simply something greater than yourself that can lead you back to sanity/sobriety.
I hope that provides some insight, good luck with the meeting and let us know what you think.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Boston Massachusetts
Posts: 41
Thank you, everyone! I feel much better about giving it a shot tomorrow. The meeting is a noon, so I'll go during my lunch break.
Today I'm having a very hard time not making myself a cocktail. I had a hard day at work, and then I went to my class and took a final exam. I'm exhausted, and this is a time when I would usually reach for a drink to relax.
I think I'll watch trashy TV and eat ice cream instead.
Today I'm having a very hard time not making myself a cocktail. I had a hard day at work, and then I went to my class and took a final exam. I'm exhausted, and this is a time when I would usually reach for a drink to relax.
I think I'll watch trashy TV and eat ice cream instead.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Boston Massachusetts
Posts: 41
I did not end up going to the meeting today. I made excuses - I was too busy, and then it was nice out so i decided to eat outside instead of spending my lunch hour in a basement talking about how much i want a drink.
Today I'm rather stressed and upset about work. I should go food shopping but I'm having trouble getting off the couch.
I can't go to a meeting tomorrow because of work, and then I'm leaving friday for a three day weekend with friends. There is going to be A LOT of drinking this weekend, and usually I lead the charge, but I'm going to try to take a back seat and stay sober. I think I can do it.
Today I'm rather stressed and upset about work. I should go food shopping but I'm having trouble getting off the couch.
I can't go to a meeting tomorrow because of work, and then I'm leaving friday for a three day weekend with friends. There is going to be A LOT of drinking this weekend, and usually I lead the charge, but I'm going to try to take a back seat and stay sober. I think I can do it.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Boca *****, Fl
Posts: 7
Kiwi and all,
My first post. I can definitely empathize with your problem as far as binge drinking. I'm able to go a few days without drinking but then end up on a bender.
I've also tried countless times to give up (and really really meant it everytime) but I inevitably fail... I understand that most on this forum will be big advocates of AA which I understand is effective for many but the couple of meetings I did attend I was not responsive to. I really think that the reason was two-fold;
I was not comfortable with the religious aspect. I'm sorry but it did seem pervasive.
I'm extremely self-deceptive and although I really know that my binge-drinking is extremely damaging in so many respects, I walked out after the meeting and listening to day-to-day alcoholics and persuaded myself I don't have a "serious problem" when, in fact, I do.
I'm really determined to give up. I too would definitely like to hear from anyone that has the same pattern of alcoholism.
Any advice would be appreciated...
My first post. I can definitely empathize with your problem as far as binge drinking. I'm able to go a few days without drinking but then end up on a bender.
I've also tried countless times to give up (and really really meant it everytime) but I inevitably fail... I understand that most on this forum will be big advocates of AA which I understand is effective for many but the couple of meetings I did attend I was not responsive to. I really think that the reason was two-fold;
I was not comfortable with the religious aspect. I'm sorry but it did seem pervasive.
I'm extremely self-deceptive and although I really know that my binge-drinking is extremely damaging in so many respects, I walked out after the meeting and listening to day-to-day alcoholics and persuaded myself I don't have a "serious problem" when, in fact, I do.
I'm really determined to give up. I too would definitely like to hear from anyone that has the same pattern of alcoholism.
Any advice would be appreciated...
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