Am I a full blown alcoholic? or not...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1
Am I a full blown alcoholic? or not...
New to this site, so if I'm not doing something right, i'm sorry.
First of all, I was raised by alcoholics...my folks divorced when i was about six. my mom drank all her life, and finally gave it up after I was grown and moved out. I never ever drank, more than just socially, (a Mike's wine cooler, once in a while...).
My dad passes away last year...it was so hard for me. I felt so despondent, we had some wine in the house...I discovered that, drinking enough, made things a bit more numb. After that, I find that I am drinking wine almost every night of the week. I don't know if I should be desperately worried or not, about this...it is not affecting my job, or my daytime behavior. But I find myself wanting at least a glass or two, every night. I can't tell my family or friends, because I don't want them to worry.
My folks were hard core...my dad hardly without his whiskey, and my mom a bottle of gin and tonic every night. This white wine isn't that bad, however, I still wonder if I'm already doomed.
Any advice from people who have been there, and can advise me...would be appreciated. My dad has been gone almost a year, and I can't get through a week without quite a few drinks.
siigh.
any advice appreciated.
First of all, I was raised by alcoholics...my folks divorced when i was about six. my mom drank all her life, and finally gave it up after I was grown and moved out. I never ever drank, more than just socially, (a Mike's wine cooler, once in a while...).
My dad passes away last year...it was so hard for me. I felt so despondent, we had some wine in the house...I discovered that, drinking enough, made things a bit more numb. After that, I find that I am drinking wine almost every night of the week. I don't know if I should be desperately worried or not, about this...it is not affecting my job, or my daytime behavior. But I find myself wanting at least a glass or two, every night. I can't tell my family or friends, because I don't want them to worry.
My folks were hard core...my dad hardly without his whiskey, and my mom a bottle of gin and tonic every night. This white wine isn't that bad, however, I still wonder if I'm already doomed.
Any advice from people who have been there, and can advise me...would be appreciated. My dad has been gone almost a year, and I can't get through a week without quite a few drinks.
siigh.
any advice appreciated.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Hello Wildflower
Welcome to SR.
I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic or not. From what you posted I can tell you my opinion... two glasses of wine that helped you through a tough moment in life... No, as a little wine can soothe the soul.
With a family history.. chances are stronger that a person could be an alcoholic.
With the nature of alcohol on the human body...it is progressive in nature.
We need and want more to gain the same feelings. So caution is a good thing for us to use.
What you can try that may help you find a better answer... the 21 day test.
See if you can go 3 weeks with no alcohol and you will gain more insight into things as you give it a try.
If you are wanting to stop...sooner is better then later. AA meetings offer a wonderful support system and the only requirement is...a desire to stop drinking (alcoholic or not).
Sorry to read of your dad's passing. Such things in life take time to deal with and at one year, you may feel the grief return a little stronger. Know that you have prayers and support with you.
Your not alone on this journey.
Welcome to SR.
I can't tell you if you are an alcoholic or not. From what you posted I can tell you my opinion... two glasses of wine that helped you through a tough moment in life... No, as a little wine can soothe the soul.
With a family history.. chances are stronger that a person could be an alcoholic.
With the nature of alcohol on the human body...it is progressive in nature.
We need and want more to gain the same feelings. So caution is a good thing for us to use.
What you can try that may help you find a better answer... the 21 day test.
See if you can go 3 weeks with no alcohol and you will gain more insight into things as you give it a try.
If you are wanting to stop...sooner is better then later. AA meetings offer a wonderful support system and the only requirement is...a desire to stop drinking (alcoholic or not).
Sorry to read of your dad's passing. Such things in life take time to deal with and at one year, you may feel the grief return a little stronger. Know that you have prayers and support with you.
Your not alone on this journey.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 30
I think one of the worse things to do right now is label yourself as an "alcoholic" or worse, "doomed".
And one of the best is to examine your motives and behavior carefully, as was suggested...realize that you are making a choice to drink (not saying it is neccesarily a bad or wrong choice, but at this point, it IS a choice) and use the insight gained to guide your future choices.
Best wishes
And one of the best is to examine your motives and behavior carefully, as was suggested...realize that you are making a choice to drink (not saying it is neccesarily a bad or wrong choice, but at this point, it IS a choice) and use the insight gained to guide your future choices.
Best wishes
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Wildflower,
Be gentle with yourself. I think you are being smart and alert to changes.
In the medical world, I believe alcoholism has been categorized as a progressive disease with an inherited factor for a very long time. So maybe because you have a family history, you are more likely to become an alcoholic. But, from this perspective, you are early in your development and haven't "crossed that line" into alcoholism.
For me, there was a pretty definate line where I became an alcoholic and there was no looking back. That's why people say quitting early is better. At the same time, people drink until they don't drink and I don't know if there was anything in the world anyone could've said or done that would've made me stop until I did.
Maybe you need to just find other ways to comfort yourself and it wouldn't be very difficult to give it up. And then you'd never find yourself on your knees begging God for help because you've gone through 3 bottles of wine in one night and you only want more. I hope that never happens to you. And I'm sorry about your father.
- MLE
Be gentle with yourself. I think you are being smart and alert to changes.
In the medical world, I believe alcoholism has been categorized as a progressive disease with an inherited factor for a very long time. So maybe because you have a family history, you are more likely to become an alcoholic. But, from this perspective, you are early in your development and haven't "crossed that line" into alcoholism.
For me, there was a pretty definate line where I became an alcoholic and there was no looking back. That's why people say quitting early is better. At the same time, people drink until they don't drink and I don't know if there was anything in the world anyone could've said or done that would've made me stop until I did.
Maybe you need to just find other ways to comfort yourself and it wouldn't be very difficult to give it up. And then you'd never find yourself on your knees begging God for help because you've gone through 3 bottles of wine in one night and you only want more. I hope that never happens to you. And I'm sorry about your father.
- MLE
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
Originally Posted by mle-sober 
Wildflower,
For me, there was a pretty definate line where I became an alcoholic and there was no looking back. - MLE
For me, there was a pretty definate line where I became an alcoholic and there was no looking back. - MLE
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Wildfire due to your parents history of alcoholism you have the potential.... are you a "Full blown alkie"? If you are telling the whole truth about your drinking career, probably not............. yet. I would suggest trying at what Best suggested, go 21 days without a drink and see how you feel.
If after a week of not drinking you find that the only thing that seemes to stay on your mind is "When can I drink again?", you may want to give some serious consideration to not drinking again.
For a non-alcoholic going 21 days without a drink is a no brainer, they do it all the time.
If after a week of not drinking you find that the only thing that seemes to stay on your mind is "When can I drink again?", you may want to give some serious consideration to not drinking again.
For a non-alcoholic going 21 days without a drink is a no brainer, they do it all the time.
Sorry for your loss.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
crossing the line into alcoholism
Originally Posted by TigerLili
Can you explain what how you knew you crossed the line?
I didn't know it at the time. I only know it looking back. I recall being a teenager about 14 yrs old and feeling extremely comforted by alcohol - I had had quite a bit of trauma already in my life and drinking was a wonderful soother. And from then until I was about 20, I could and did drink more than my peers. I was certainly a problem drinker. But I went for periods of time without drinking and I didn't obsess about drinking the way I did later.
The year I turned 20, I was hostessing and waitressing at a bar and went through a divorce, after which I was raped by a stranger. I think the ready access to alcohol and the grief from the divorce and rape were the triggers. It would have happened anyway but I think it happened so early for me partly because of those two things, looking back. And also because I started so early at 14 and have a family history of alcoholism. At 20, I just started drinking every single night and then on weekends during the day when I could and everything went bad. Alcohol was no longer comforting me, it was obsessing me. It went from being a friend to a nasty lover with a come-here, go-away attitude that I found I could no longer say no to.
I tried to pull my life together then and moved to another state and started college again and even accepted treatment when my family offered it. But I never really could get out from the grip of alcohol after that. It was a part of my life that I protected defensively and angrily a lot of the time. I felt like I had a right to drink and it was no one's business. And I told myself a bunch of lies about how I could quit whenever I wanted to. But I couldn't and didn't.
Until finally at 39, I surrendered to the hopelessness of it and finally, finally accepted that I was an alcoholic and desperately needed help to stop and live my life again. So, looking back, the year I was 20 was pivital. I think that was when I really crossed that line to alcoholic.
Anyway, I hope that helps....
- MLE
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