Rob B

I don't know if it is necessarry for you. It was for me. Neat thing is that by working the steps and following a few simple spiritual disciplines I recovered from alcoholism, the problem was removed, I don't think about drinking or not drinking, I go to concercts, cook outs, parties where people are drinking, it doesn't phase me, my inner life is better than I could have dreamed it would be, no mind chatter, silence is not violent, my external world matches my inside.
Have you worked the steps, are you being of service, or are you falling victim to the mainstream belief that the magic will just happen. My relief and freedom in recovery is directly proportionate to my action.

AA does not have a monoply on recovery, don't like it, don't want to do the program? That's ok. Find something that does work for you. If you are a real alcoholic just not drinking will be difficult and you will still suffer from the obsessive mind and all the other manifestations of untreated alcoholism, I wish you well on whatever path is best for you.

bigredme

OK. I began my recovery in AA. Took awhile to "get" the spiritual thing for me but I did (in a way that made sense to me). i think the spiritual aspect is helpful in reminding us control freaks that we are not the end-all, be-all and you've got to deal with what comes. the Serenity prayer might be the most intelligent thing ever set to paper if you're looking for guidance in life.
All that being said, I haven't been to an AA meeting in 10 years. I've been sober over 12. Wanna know how? I am grateful for every freaking day I don't have to apologize to someone for some awful thing I said or did. i treat my disease like a disease and refuse to accept stigma. I'm very open about my alcoholism. I don't whine about it. Someone mentioned diabetics. Same thing to me. You don't hear them whining about not being able to gorge themselves on candy all day long (by the way diabetics who don't take care to manage their disease can act like real a-holes...just like drunks). I am accountable to myself and others. this is hard. I truly try to look at my responsibility in all situations. sometimes i have none but more often i am partially to blame for conflicts. And last but not least, i have stopped putting myself at the center of the universe. people do not spend all their time thinking about making me happy or making me miserable. very few consider me at all. they're just going about life doing their thing and sometimes it's conflicts with my thing. And i find that the more i think of helping others the less i dwell in the land of self pity. At any rate, my life is not about alcohol. 99.9% of the time it's not something i even think about...no matter where i am. actually, going to bars and restaurants and seeing people with their high on just solidifies my foundation...i don't want to be that again. Good luck to you friend. you'll find your way if you want it. do LOTS of listening.
all the best
bigredme

mle-sober

I had a friend who recently died of cancer after a two year battle. When the doctors originally gave him his diagnosis, they said he only had a few months to live. He went deep into research on his type of cancer, did all of the treatments and qualified to participate in two different studies AND he attacked his cancer spiritually. He said that it didn't make any sense to attack it from only one side.

He did die. But he died a peaceful death - heroic in the eyes of his doctors and many loved ones for having had as much time as he did and for making that time count.

I think many illnesses have mysterious and spiritual aspects to them. Eastern medicine would laugh at not recognizing this truth.

Spiritual can just mean human - it doesn't have to mean diety. Just being honest and approaching life with depth and sincerity is spiritual, to me.

tesquizito

Thanks for all your input. Just got back from the SMART meeting. Very different.

Very "clinical", as opposed to AA which is very "romantic", the idea of surrender, the drunkalogs, chips, and god.

However that meeting was really...well, smart. And they have tools too.

I bought their book and am going to try both. They both have very powerful tools, and I'm open to it all. Not sure what my sponsor will say, kinda dreading that conversation.

I wasn't even functional today at work worrying if I have let god into my life enough to continue with the program. I am really committed to sobriety, so I guess as long as I am actively seeking, studying, and practicing solutions I'm in a good place.

Yeah?

gravity

Yeah! Find what's right for you! I have read though the SMART stuff, actually filled out some of the worksheets. Wasn't for me at the time but I don't close the door on anything that can help me stay sober (no SMART meetings anywhere near here anyway). Good to have an open mind. Best wishes!

NoelleR

Hey tesquizito --

I see you're in the SF Bay Area....I spent my first two months of sobriety there. I believe there's an atheist/agnostic meeting in SF .... in Hayes Valley....? You might wanna check into that..... I believe it's on Saturday in the AM..... (o:


NoelleR

P.S. Yup....found it....:

Find a Meeting - www.AASF.org

Tazman53

An AA drone!!!! LOL

Man I had to laugh when I read that!!!!

When I was sitting in my garage all by myself drinking and my family hated my guts, when my life totally revolved around drinking and nothing else.............. I was a drone then!!! An alcoholic drone in the grips of my disease.

Thanks to becoming an AA drone, I know have the love and respect of my entire family, I am an excellent employee, I am happy, I no longer obsess about alcohol. Man this drone stuff is horrible!!!

Man I just hate being an AA drone, I go out with my family and do things things and do not wind up drunk! I don't drive worrying about getting a DUI. I do what ever I want to when ever I want to and go where ever I want to.

Being an AA drone is really miserable, my family now comes to me when they have a problem rather then avoiding me like the plague. One of my girls can call me at 7PM and ask me to give them a ride some where and I do it because I am not fall down drunk!

I smile, I laugh, I live life, sober!!!! Oh woe is me, I am an AA drone! LOL

I am an AA drone, I do not sit around and whine about how unfair life is because the world will not adapt to how I want it to be! Instead of me trying to make the whole world revolve around me I am now a part of the world!

Yes I am an AA drone, happy joyous and free, free of self and of alcohol.

Ananda

all sarcasm aside.....

One of the AA traditions talks about how we are not to require "conforming" from anyone. They also discuss autonomy (escuse my language). I have found that I don't have to be like everyone else to stay sober and to work an AA program.

Some groups are a little less comfortable than others so trying a variety of meetings is helpful.

I will do any additional things that benifit me and my sobriety...open mindedness is very important to my health in all aspects.

Good luck.

tesquizito

I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone, and I will not challenge an individual's beliefs. I can only question my own.

Recently I've been opening up about my problem with my close friends (not drinking buddies), family, and extended family. I'll be talking with my boss too, he's been wondering where I've been skipping off to the last 2 months. It's interesting that several have been to AA, or a recovery program of some sort (for all different issues), I never knew, and we got to talk about it.

One thing that I've realized through this experience is that I have a MASSIVE support structure right here in my family and my home.

I believe what works for the individual, no matter what solution it is, is an awesome thing.

I'm just hyper-aware of indoctrination and masked sacraments, and that makes me uncomfortable. I'm continuing with smart and feel a lot more sane about myself.

Still sober!!

Tazman53

tesquizito if SMART is working that is cool, what ever works for someone is a good thing.

AA, SMART, WFS, etc. are not one size fits all programs.

One needs to find a program that works for them.

You did not offend me with the AA Drone comment, trust me I have heard it all before, I find it amusing, AA has to be the most diverse orginization I have ever seen, there are no rules, everything is simply a suggestion, that just does not fit the definition of a drone to me.

In AA every meeting is different and has a personality of its own, I did a lot of meeting shopping when I first came in the program and when I tire of one group or am looking for something different I simply go to a different meeting.

Totally agree!!!

Where in the world are you seeing these?

doorknob

What a great thread! I wish I hadn't been drinkin' and smokin' chronic when it was goin down. Tes, you talked about SMART being clinical and AA being romantic, and I was wondering if you have checked out any LifeRing meetings. Oakland, CA (my home hood, lol) is where they started and where the LifeRing Service Center is. They have in-house meetings at Kaiser Permenente's chemical dependency treatment program along with AA/NA. I haven't lived there for quite sometime, but I did have the opportunity to attend a couple of meetings about 6 years ago, when I was in town visiting family. They really fit me like a glove and I wish I lived somewhere that has existing meetings. I tried to start one where I was living at the time but I just couldn't keep any momentum going. It was a small (huge compared to where I'm at now, lol), conservative city in central WA. Anyway, they are similar to AA as far as the camaraderie and group dynamic, just without the spiritual component. The other main difference is that the meeting is more of a discussion rather than a series of individual shares, and you can ask questions and respond to what others are saying. They also have daily online meetings which I sometimes go to, but they can be really busy making the text hard to follow. Thanks again for this thread, and it's good to see that your still around and sober.

DK

tesquizito

Wow DK, way to revive a 4 month old thread I started. You probably had to to search for it ;-)

Since you asked, and I've been relatively quite on SR since then, I guess I'll post a follow-up.

I transitioned directly to SMART from AA when I started this thread in April. Today I'm still active with SMART, and feeling pretty good about it. And although I don't have a perfect record since then, I currently have about 75+ consecutive days, slipping up twice before that. I'm lucky to have 2 weekly SMART meetings in my immediate area (SF bay area - south), and I've been able to use their tools pretty effectively.

My feelings towards AA have calmed down quite a bit, after I had a chance to step back and evaluate the big picture. And although I still disagree with much of their positions, I do credit AA with jump-starting my sobriety, I learned a lot about myself, and I met some nice people there. No hard feelings, I guess.

I'm currently reading a variety of books with different analysis/approaches on this behavior/problem/disease (whatever you want to call it), I've also taken up a few new hobbies. I'm particulary pleased that I've been able to stay sober without suspending certain parts of my life or surroundings. I have however, experienced a massive change in my thinking and reasoning, and day-to-day lifestyle. I know I still have a long way to go, though.

I see that the closest LifeRing meetings to me are in Redwood City and Union City. Next time I'm in the area I'll try to stop by and say hi!

Ananda

I'm so glad you updated us! It really helps me to hear from other alchoholics about how they stay sober today. I hope you will post more. I believe you will have a lot to share with all of us!:bounce