StandFast

I am 57 days sober. I mostly feel hopeless but I know that it is not real - i.e. there is hope.

My sponser tells me to focus on my 90 day mark. I have high expectations of a lot of marked changes by then regarding my spirtuality, personal improvements, finances and career situations.
I suppose that recovery is code word for rebuilding my world and myself. I will read the first three steps again and start reading the forth.

When I can't fight this feeling of hopelessness and somehow my faith kicks in and I am lot lost or alone no more.

Strange.

nogard

Something greater than me thats finally what I had to get closer connected to. So keep doing that and all teh other things too, this too shall pass.

Kevin

Dee74

I don't want to put you off, but I found my expectation of marked changes didn't happen at all when or how I expected them to.

We're alcoholics and addicts - we're used to instant gratification - doesn't work like that here tho. We have to do the work, and put in the hours, to rebuild a new and better self. Sometimes that means steps or whatever else we're using - and sometimes that just means waiting for mind body and spirit to heal.

They will, so long as you keep your side of the bargain and keep working on yourself and keep sober.

I'm not a very patient guy, but I've gotten better. I've found recovery's a wonderful gift SF - it's worth the wait. I've even learned, from the point I'm at today, to look back at the journey and appreciate it.

good luck
D

Anna

Hi Standfast,

Having faith is important, but I tried to not have expectations in recovery. A big part of recovery for me, was learning to accept what came along, what life brought to me each day. I had been quite a control freak and letting go and letting life happen was hard for me.

nogard

I expect to be drug free and to be able to have a life based on joy rather than fear

mle-sober

Steadfast -

You're still on the same path - recovery is real. Struggling with the speed of it doesn't change the course. I find that distraction is helpful - looking away from your expectations and finding thinks like walks, movies, bookstores, etc. Hang in there and don't pretend the descouragment isn't there. Just look at it and say, Yep - there it is again. Now what should I do?

Anyway that's what I do. Good stregnth to you.

least

I too expect changes in my life and situation, just don't know when or how they'll take place. At least, I hope they're for the better. And I was pretty far down so just about any change would be for the better.

LosingmyMisery

I was very impatient in early recovery. I wanted all of the benefits, now. I' still working on cleaning up my past, but one thing for certain, faith has gotten me through. It has never let me down.

barb dwyer

Just because the sun is shining doesn't mean the stars aren't still there.

There's always hope, hon.

WendyS

When I find myself becoming impatient for the 'better' things to come, I remember how long it took for my world to crash and I find that I can be patient.

Hang in there and live in the moment.

TheCartel

Way to go on reaching the cusp of 90 days. If you're like me, that was a monumental thing, that I could go for 3 consecutive months without a drug.

While a kudos is definitly due, I'd be a liar if I didn't give my word of caution about milestones in recovery. First of all, the birthdays (milestones) are frequently when a relapse will occurr. This is because of all the expectations the addict has, placed by himself AND others. When the day comes and goes, you'll see that there is a lot of weight and meaning in the cliche phrase of "a day at a time", and that this is really a program of progression rather than achievement.

good luck and cheers!

The Cartel.

least

I stopped drinking one day at a time. It's too much for me to think too far ahead, but I can manage much better by only living for today. I don't drink just for today, it's easier to stop drinking if it's just one day at a time.:ghug